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Internet Explorer: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:toolbars.png|thumb|Typical Internet Explorer setup.]] | |||
[[Image:toolbars.png|thumb | '''Internet Explorer''' is a malicious form of malware which is designed to slow down computer performance and frustrate users. Due to Swiss cheese-like security, it is susceptible to [[raep]] by nearly every exploit imaginable. In less than 5 minutes, the average IE installation will [[fail]] as it becomes saturated with [[Skullworm|worms]], [[Alexa|unwanted tool bars]], and [[AIDS]]. | ||
''' | |||
==Virus or not a Virus?== | ==Virus or not a Virus?== | ||
Though it appears to spread like a [[virus]], it lacks the small size and stealthy behavior which is commonly associated with viruses. Furthermore, the bulk of its propagation happens not through the [[internets]] but through the [[real world]] where [[monopoly]] was used to pre-load it onto [[computer]]s and hide it on [[Windows]] [[operating system]] disks; a practice which got [[Microsoft]]'s [[ass]] [[sue]]d by... well, basically by [[everyone]]. | Though it appears to spread like a [[virus]], it lacks the small size and stealthy behavior which is commonly associated with viruses. Furthermore, the bulk of its propagation happens not through the [[internets]] but through the [[real world]] where [[monopoly]] was used to pre-load it onto [[computer]]s and hide it on [[Windows]] [[operating system]] disks; a practice which got [[Microsoft]]'s [[ass]] [[sue]]d by... well, basically by [[everyone]]. | ||
Also if [[Java]]Script is enabled, any website can hack your computer with things like making [[9000|Over 9,000]] [http://www.ryancordell.com/design/pop.htm pop up windows]. Or disabling mouse buttons and keyboard buttons so when you click them they [[Goggles|don't work]] and it says, "Don't steal my pictures" -- if the latter ever happens you just got hacked. As a public service, you must turn JavaScript off and then steal every one of the pictures from sites like this. | Also if [[Java]]Script is enabled, any website can hack your computer with things like making [[9000|Over 9,000]] [http://www.ryancordell.com/design/pop.htm pop up windows]. Or disabling mouse buttons and keyboard buttons so when you click them they [[Goggles|don't work]] and it says, "Don't steal my pictures" -- if the latter ever happens you just got hacked. As a public service, you must turn JavaScript off and then steal every one of the pictures from sites like this. | ||
(Or you could always highlight it and press CTRL+C, to save you the trouble of finding where the option is in Internet Explorer's crappy layout) | (Or you could always highlight it and press CTRL+C, to save you the trouble of finding where the option is in Internet Explorer's crappy layout) | ||
== Indian Programmers == | == Indian Programmers == | ||
[[Image:Ms_india_tech_support.jpg|thumb|right|100px|Indian programmer in a specialized [[Microsoft]] Area51 lab.]] | [[Image:Ms_india_tech_support.jpg|thumb|right|100px|Indian programmer in a specialized [[Microsoft]] Area51 lab.]] | ||
Internet Explorer is programmed by a highly trained team of [[Indian]] specialists. These specialists are world wide recognized for their talents and everyone praises their mothers when Internet Explorer crashes. | Internet Explorer is programmed by a highly trained team of [[Indian]] specialists. These specialists are world wide recognized for their talents and everyone praises their mothers when Internet Explorer crashes. | ||
Most of these highly specialized | Most of these highly specialized programmers work in high tech labs, such as in the desert, or while on [[Toilet_Seat|Toilet]]. That explains why Internet Explorer works so great. | ||
Notice that they sometimes use turbans to boost their intelligence and make better crappy version. Especially when making upgrades (more bugs). | Notice that they sometimes use turbans to boost their intelligence and make better crappy version. Especially when making upgrades (more bugs). | ||
You should not be deceived by that picture in the right. That is not an ordinary Indian desert. That highly specialized IT man is actually working in AREA 51!!! And that picture was taken by a spy satellite while he was upgrading Microsoft Internet Explorer. | You should not be deceived by that picture in the right. That is not an ordinary Indian desert. That highly specialized IT man is actually working in AREA 51!!! And that picture was taken by a spy satellite while he was upgrading Microsoft Internet Explorer. | ||
== Gallery == | |||
<center><gallery> | |||
File:Browser - IE - Stolen Cookie.png | |||
Image:Iecantdisplaywebpage.jpg|Typical Internet Explorer page. | |||
Image:Internet_explorer_hahainternet.jpg | |||
Image:failsplorer.jpg|Another prime example of a properly configured Internet Explorer. | |||
</gallery></center> | |||
== See also == | == See also == | ||
*[[Mozilla Firefox|Firefox]] | *[[Mozilla Firefox|Firefox]] | ||
*[[Opera Browser|Opera]] | *[[Opera Browser|Opera]] | ||
Revision as of 12:34, 19 April 2013
Internet Explorer is a malicious form of malware which is designed to slow down computer performance and frustrate users. Due to Swiss cheese-like security, it is susceptible to raep by nearly every exploit imaginable. In less than 5 minutes, the average IE installation will fail as it becomes saturated with worms, unwanted tool bars, and AIDS.
Virus or not a Virus?
Though it appears to spread like a virus, it lacks the small size and stealthy behavior which is commonly associated with viruses. Furthermore, the bulk of its propagation happens not through the internets but through the real world where monopoly was used to pre-load it onto computers and hide it on Windows operating system disks; a practice which got Microsoft's ass sued by... well, basically by everyone.
Also if JavaScript is enabled, any website can hack your computer with things like making Over 9,000 pop up windows. Or disabling mouse buttons and keyboard buttons so when you click them they don't work and it says, "Don't steal my pictures" -- if the latter ever happens you just got hacked. As a public service, you must turn JavaScript off and then steal every one of the pictures from sites like this. (Or you could always highlight it and press CTRL+C, to save you the trouble of finding where the option is in Internet Explorer's crappy layout)
Indian Programmers
Internet Explorer is programmed by a highly trained team of Indian specialists. These specialists are world wide recognized for their talents and everyone praises their mothers when Internet Explorer crashes. Most of these highly specialized programmers work in high tech labs, such as in the desert, or while on Toilet. That explains why Internet Explorer works so great. Notice that they sometimes use turbans to boost their intelligence and make better crappy version. Especially when making upgrades (more bugs).
You should not be deceived by that picture in the right. That is not an ordinary Indian desert. That highly specialized IT man is actually working in AREA 51!!! And that picture was taken by a spy satellite while he was upgrading Microsoft Internet Explorer.
Gallery
-
-
Typical Internet Explorer page. -
-
Another prime example of a properly configured Internet Explorer.
See also
But then what should I use to look at the Internets?
NetscapeSeamonkey? Nope.- Safari? Sure, if you're a ghey faggot.
- No, not Firefox either. You're screwed.
- Opera. It's the only choice.
- Fuck it, just do something productive
- Internet Explorer Indian Programmers
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Internet Explorer is part of a series on Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage. |