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Physics: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 22:18, 3 April 2013
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This article needs moar experimentation. You can help by adding moar experimentation. |
An often ignored fact of reality used by trolls and Scientists to point out how YOU ARE EDUCATED STUPID, physics makes the Internet go 'round. measures how the Internet goes 'round. It also helps you determine how long it'll take you to hit the ground after jumping out of an aeroplane with out a parachute.
Explosives did WTC
Everyone knows Jews did WTC, but scientologists would have you believe that the government did WTC. This is because they have a 13 year old boy's understanding of physics. The twin towers, they say, could not have fallen anywhere near terminal velocity. Therefore, OMG EXPLOSIVES! You can see why this is stupid by conducting the following experiments.
Facts exploited through physics
Heavy things fall harder than light things
Here is a science experiment you can try at home. Drop one marble on your head and have a friend measure the time it takes to hit your cranium. Now drop a bowling ball on your head and measure the time it takes to crack your skull. Both fall at the same rate, but one has a good chance of killing you.
Jet fuel is hot
If you have survived the previous experiment, try this one. Find a piece of wood; any size will do. Now, light that piece of wood on fire. Hold that piece of wood in your hand and measure how long you can hold it. Now, soak a rag in kerosene and light that on fire. Again, measure how long you can stand to hold it. Make sure you use your unburnt hand, as the previous hand will likely have nerve damage. You should find that one of your hands burned faster than the other.
Fast things hurt more than slow things
As you are either dead or pretty much covered in a body cast, you will need a friend for this experiment. Call him. As he walks into your hospital room, throw a bullet at him. He will probably wonder why you did such a thing. This is because it didn't hurt. Then, pull out your EPIC Desert Eagle and pop a cap in his ass. He will probably scream, bleed and try to kill you. This is because the bullet traveled much faster, and, therefore, hurt moar. A WINNAR IS YOU!!!
Other facts facts facts of physics
Computers rely on the flow of electrons through micro-transistors to function
Self-explanatory really. Some argue that computers rely on the flow of material through tubes.
The above is incorrect. In fact, computers run on magic smoke. This is evidenced by the fact that computers always cease to work when the magic smoke is liberated from them.
The above is incorrect. In fact computers, like the internets, run on tubes. This is evidenced by the fact that when you release the magic smoke by using a torch and some gasoline, the internets only vanish for you, because you are dead.
Higher up things fall harder than lower down things
Imagine a young lady standing on the roof of a house, naked. If she throws a rock straight into the air and it lands on the man in the bushes masterb8ing, it would hurt much more than if the rock was dropped from, say, the first floor window. This involves Newton's law stating that there are no girls on the internets... so they must be standing on the roof, naked.
Magnets move things
Some people believe that magnets can control metal. This is false. Only Magneto can control metal... and the force. This is proven by the picture associated. Look tharr foar proofs.
Longcat is long
Despite /b/'s depictions, ||longcat||=∞.
The Falcon Punch
The Falcon Punch is the only known method of destroying physics other than dividing by 0.
Miscellania
The arbitrary physical constants of the universe are the result of a freak chemical reaction which occurred when Lowtax railed a bald eagle in the ass.
Space
Space is empty, so objects keep on going, going and going until it hits something. This could be anything from a bag of dead babies to a ball of antimatter. Either way, it's gonna be a lot of work for the astrophysicists trying to determine why the fuck there is a bag of dead babies in space.
String Theory
A mathematically elegant theory claims that everything is composed of strings, and they can be combined in more ways than there are atoms in the universe.
