Hyperbolimia

An example of two hyperbolimics attempting to mate.

Hyberbolimia is a a medical/political condition affecting the sufferer's psyche.

The following symptoms include, but are not limited to, the following:

• Agape mouth and rolling eyes.
• Uncontrollable flailing of hands and contorted features.
• Fragile self-esteem accompanied by the need for constant attention and/or admiration.
• Projectile lying (hyperboling) in public.
• Dismissive, contemptuous and always impatient. Often seen simultaneously stamping feet while ejecting a barrage of lies (hyperboles).
• The hyperbolimic is usually interpersonally exploitive i.e. Needs to abuse others to achieve it's own selfish ends.
• Described variously by ex-partners as "Having a whining, carping, grating voice" and, "Like a fucking jackhammer of misery, oh Jesus..."
• Gorges on sprouting truthiness for breakfast in order to regurgitate lies for lunch. The hyperbolimic then reheats the vomited concoction for dinner. This appetizing mash is then masticated further until finally sold to hungry Americans as McChicken McNuggets or 'hyperboles'.
• Hyperbolimics can be fat or thin or inbetween, not to be confused with people who worship skeletorism; those people suffer from a mentalist disorder called bulimia.
• Nasty.

Famous hyperbolimics

• Ann Coulter
• Osama Bin Laden
• Michael Moore
• Rush Limbaugh

Hyperbolimia-friendly Vocations and Employers

• Talk Radio Camp Officer
• Gulag Host
• Media Whore
• Crying baby

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Hyperbolimia is part of a series on Diseases and Disorders