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Dr. Seuss: Difference between revisions
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imported>Uberfukken rm missing images / unnessassary template |
imported>Morris Adding more stories and info on film adaptions. |
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[[Image:Dr seuss.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Seuss's most popular work]] | [[Image:Dr seuss.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Seuss's most popular work]] | ||
[[File:Dr Seuss People are Cunts.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Another best seller.]] | [[File:Dr Seuss People are Cunts.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Another best seller.]] | ||
'''Dr. Seuss''', or [[ | '''Dr. Seuss''', or [[Powerword|Theodor Seuss Giesel]], was an [[Americunt]] children's book author. During [[WW2]], he spent his time creating [[over 9000]] political cartoons. Unfortunately, they weren't good enough to earn him any awards. During the sixties his wife became sick and, after reading ''Green Eggs and Ham'', [[An Hero|killed herself]]. Seuss didn't give a fuck and, less than a year later, remarried someone better and continued writing autistic fanfiction-tier children's books. | ||
Seuss never wanted an amusement park made after his books. Fortunately for his wife, Seuss got [[owned]] by | Seuss never wanted an amusement park made after his books. Fortunately for his wife, Seuss got [[owned]] by [[cancer]] in the 90's and, quickly after, she signed on with Universal to make ''[[Hell|Seussland]]''. To this day, she [[whore]]s money off this crappy little park. | ||
==Literature== | ==Literature== | ||
His droning rhyme scheme and idiotic phrases merged with other art forms of the time, and [[rap|the one thing that could make god cry]] was a direct result. Some of his books include: | His droning rhyme scheme and idiotic phrases merged with other art forms of the time, and [[rap|the one thing that could make god cry]] was a direct result. Some of his books include: | ||
*'''Green Eggs and Ham:''' Sam doesn't want to eat the Green Eggs and Ham. So the bitch is tied down and forced to eat it. | *'''Green Eggs and Ham:''' Sam doesn't want to eat the Green Eggs and Ham. So the bitch is tied down and [[Feeder|forced to eat it]]. Surprisingly, he likes it. Sadly, NOBODY CARES. This book is popular among fat kids who will eat [[Shit|anything]]. | ||
*'''The Cat in the Hat:''' A registered sex offender [[ | *'''The Cat in the Hat:''' A registered sex offender [[furfag]] breaks into a home and drugs the kids while [[Babyfuck|raping them]] [[in the ass|up the ass]] for the [[lulz]], the mom comes home and walks in on them, and she shits herself, and said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in [[Bel-air]]. | ||
*'''How the Grinch Stole Christmas:''' | *'''How the Grinch Stole Christmas:''' A story about a green, fugly permavirgin [[Jew]] who hates [[Christmas]], so he decides to steal all of the [[Christmas]] presents like a rapid nigger. While not pissing off Christfags, The Grinch lives on top of an icy mountain smoking weed and having anal sex with his dog, Max, all night long. | ||
*'''Hop on Pop:''' A book with instructions and methods for on how to kick the shit out of defenseless old men. [[Ban|Banned]] in | *'''Hop on Pop:''' A retarded book with instructions and methods for on how to kick the shit out of defenseless old men. [[Ban|Banned]] in libraries that have [[Old people]] working there. | ||
*'''Fox in Socks:''' | *'''Fox in Socks:''' A story about an annoying fox with a [[foot fetish]] who drives his friend insane with his gay raps and rhymes until he contemplates suicide. | ||
*'''Oh, the Thinks You Can Think!:''' Encourages kids to use their imagination. This book is said to have inspired [[Michael Jackson]]'s gradual [[sex]] change and the Jews to plan and carry out [[9/11]]. | *'''Oh, the Thinks You Can Think!:''' Encourages kids to use their imagination. This book is said to have inspired [[Michael Jackson]]'s gradual [[sex]] change and the Jews to plan and carry out [[9/11]]. | ||
*'''Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You?:''' Mr.Brown, a slave, is taught how to speak like a cow while living on a plantation. This book is based on a true story. | *'''Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You?:''' Mr. Brown, a slave, is taught how to speak like a cow while living on a plantation. This book is based on a true story. | ||
*'''I Am NOT Going to Get Up Today!:''' A book written by Seuss when he felt lazy as [[shit]]. He laid in bed and wrote about how life sucks, and he doesn't feel like working. Then he got the rant published. | *'''I Am NOT Going to Get Up Today!:''' A book written by Seuss when he felt lazy as [[shit]]. He laid in bed and wrote about how life sucks, and he doesn't feel like working. Then he got the rant published. | ||
*'''The Lorax:''' A book about [[Anon|some faceless cunt]] who makes a business chopping down trees and being a dick to the animals. Said faggotry causes ''[[God|The Lorax]]'', an orange oldfag furry thing, to spawn from a tree stump and bitch about the ecosystem. [[Anon]] doesn't give a fuck, and continues to use up all of the natural resources until the land becomes the equivalent of [[Afghanistan]], and The Lorax [[Lolwut|grabs his ass and flies away in despair]]. | |||
*'''Horton Hears a Who!:''' Horton, a paranoid-schizophrenic elephant, starts talking to a flower which pisses everyone off. Said flower has tiny life on it, and Horton is desperate for the tiny people to fondle him. | |||
*'''Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now!:''' Story about an arrogant piece of shit who refuses to [[GTFO]]. The original story involved Marvin being tied up and castrated in a torture chamber for failing to leave the premises, but that was scrapped because it had to be "kid-friendly". | |||
*'''Daisy-Head Mayzie:''' This book is about a [[loli]] who somehow grows a flower on her head while [[Lulz|everyone makes fun of her]] and [[Nobody cares|no-one does anything about it]]. Her retardation soon attracts the attention of [[Fox News]] and Mayzie subsequently becomes an [[attention whore]] that everyone hates. | |||
==Movies== | ==Movies== | ||
<youtube>wgILxqN_jxE</youtube> | Four films have been adapted from Seuss' autistic fanfictions. [[Truth|All of them are terrible]]. Books that have been adapted into feature films include; ''How The Grinch Stole Christmas'', ''The Cat in the Hat'', ''Horton Hears a Who!'', and ''The Lorax''. | ||
<center> | |||
{{Frame| | |||
{{fv|DrSeussMovies|background-color: #FFFFFF;|font-weight: bold; | |||
|<youtube>0mGmEE20CR0</youtube><center>'''The Grinch will fuck your shit up.'''</center> | |||
|<youtube>ASkDLn13jEc</youtube><center>'''Kids love Austin Powers in <b>[[fursuit|Cat form]]</b>!'''</center> | |||
|<youtube>ldDxDHHGB6A</youtube><center>'''This movie panders to basement-dwelling weeaboos.'''</center> | |||
|<youtube>O2J_l646f4k</youtube><center>'''Gay furries invade an innocent man's home.'''</center> | |||
}} | |||
|border=#FFFFFF|background=#FFFFFF}} | |||
</center> | |||
<center><youtube>wgILxqN_jxE</youtube></center> | |||
'''Dr. Seuss Bible''' | |||
==People who like these books== | ==People who like these books== | ||
| Line 38: | Line 53: | ||
==Links== | ==Links== | ||
*http://www.catinthehat.org/ Dr. Seuss | *http://www.catinthehat.org/ Dr. Seuss | ||
*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdR0LXOiEB8 Green Eggs & Ham | *[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdR0LXOiEB8 Green Eggs & Ham] | ||
*[http://drseuss.bookclublover.com/ Dr. Seuss Book Club] | *[http://drseuss.bookclublover.com/ Dr. Seuss Book Club] | ||
{{Books}} | |||
[[Category:People]] | [[Category:People]] | ||
Revision as of 15:16, 23 July 2016
Dr. Seuss, or Theodor Seuss Giesel, was an Americunt children's book author. During WW2, he spent his time creating over 9000 political cartoons. Unfortunately, they weren't good enough to earn him any awards. During the sixties his wife became sick and, after reading Green Eggs and Ham, killed herself. Seuss didn't give a fuck and, less than a year later, remarried someone better and continued writing autistic fanfiction-tier children's books.
Seuss never wanted an amusement park made after his books. Fortunately for his wife, Seuss got owned by cancer in the 90's and, quickly after, she signed on with Universal to make Seussland. To this day, she whores money off this crappy little park.
Literature
His droning rhyme scheme and idiotic phrases merged with other art forms of the time, and the one thing that could make god cry was a direct result. Some of his books include:
- Green Eggs and Ham: Sam doesn't want to eat the Green Eggs and Ham. So the bitch is tied down and forced to eat it. Surprisingly, he likes it. Sadly, NOBODY CARES. This book is popular among fat kids who will eat anything.
- The Cat in the Hat: A registered sex offender furfag breaks into a home and drugs the kids while raping them up the ass for the lulz, the mom comes home and walks in on them, and she shits herself, and said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-air.
- How the Grinch Stole Christmas: A story about a green, fugly permavirgin Jew who hates Christmas, so he decides to steal all of the Christmas presents like a rapid nigger. While not pissing off Christfags, The Grinch lives on top of an icy mountain smoking weed and having anal sex with his dog, Max, all night long.
- Hop on Pop: A retarded book with instructions and methods for on how to kick the shit out of defenseless old men. Banned in libraries that have Old people working there.
- Fox in Socks: A story about an annoying fox with a foot fetish who drives his friend insane with his gay raps and rhymes until he contemplates suicide.
- Oh, the Thinks You Can Think!: Encourages kids to use their imagination. This book is said to have inspired Michael Jackson's gradual sex change and the Jews to plan and carry out 9/11.
- Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You?: Mr. Brown, a slave, is taught how to speak like a cow while living on a plantation. This book is based on a true story.
- I Am NOT Going to Get Up Today!: A book written by Seuss when he felt lazy as shit. He laid in bed and wrote about how life sucks, and he doesn't feel like working. Then he got the rant published.
- The Lorax: A book about some faceless cunt who makes a business chopping down trees and being a dick to the animals. Said faggotry causes The Lorax, an orange oldfag furry thing, to spawn from a tree stump and bitch about the ecosystem. Anon doesn't give a fuck, and continues to use up all of the natural resources until the land becomes the equivalent of Afghanistan, and The Lorax grabs his ass and flies away in despair.
- Horton Hears a Who!: Horton, a paranoid-schizophrenic elephant, starts talking to a flower which pisses everyone off. Said flower has tiny life on it, and Horton is desperate for the tiny people to fondle him.
- Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now!: Story about an arrogant piece of shit who refuses to GTFO. The original story involved Marvin being tied up and castrated in a torture chamber for failing to leave the premises, but that was scrapped because it had to be "kid-friendly".
- Daisy-Head Mayzie: This book is about a loli who somehow grows a flower on her head while everyone makes fun of her and no-one does anything about it. Her retardation soon attracts the attention of Fox News and Mayzie subsequently becomes an attention whore that everyone hates.
Movies
Four films have been adapted from Seuss' autistic fanfictions. All of them are terrible. Books that have been adapted into feature films include; How The Grinch Stole Christmas, The Cat in the Hat, Horton Hears a Who!, and The Lorax.
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Dr. Seuss Bible
