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ForeverKailyn: Difference between revisions

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<center>[[file:kaititle.gif]]<br>[[File:Kaiglory.jpg|450px]]</center><br>
<center>[[file:kaititle.gif]]<br>[[File:Kaiglory.jpg|450px]]</center><br>


[[File:Kailynlipstickface.jpg‎ |200px|thumb|left|Hello Everyjuaaan!]]  ''' ForeverKailyn (now [http://www.youtube.com/user/MsKailynMarie MsKailynMarie]) ''' aka '''Kailyn Marie Wilcher-Hughes''' (fka KaiKhaod, LilKaiKaiz, KailynsKreations, SincerelyKailyn) is an obese, white trash self-proclaimed socialite and YouTube beauty guru from [[Chernobyl|Bowie, Maryland]]. Kailyn has been shitting out [[epic_fail|videos]] since 2007. She is infamous for producing the most lulz, scandals, and retard drama in a single lifetime next to [[Chris Chan]].
[[File:Kailynlipstickface.jpg‎ |200px|thumb|left|Hello Everyjuaaan!]]  ''' "ForeverKailyn" ''' (now [http://www.youtube.com/user/MsKailynMarie MsKailynMarie]) aka '''Kailyn Marie Wilcher-Hughes''' <small>(fka KaiKhaod, LilKaiKaiz, KailynsKreations, SincerelyKailyn)</small> is an obese, lazy, white trash socialite and self-proclaimed Youtube beauty guru from [[Chernobyl|Bowie, Maryland]]. Kailyn has been shitting out Youtube videos [[No life|since 2007]]. She [[fact|currently holds the world record]] for producing the most lulz, scandals, and retard drama in a single lifetime next to her soul mate, [[Chris Chan]].


The most notoriety Kai ever received was a feature spot on Vh1's ''Best Week Ever'' blog for her signature phrase "Hai Everyjuan", and a segment on [[drag queen|Willam's]] Beatdown: Episode 9.
The most notoriety Kai has ever received was a feature spot on Vh1's ''Best Week Ever'' blog for her signature phrase "Hai Everyjuan", and a segment on [[drag queen|Willam's]] Beatdown: Episode 9.
 
<Br><br>
 
<s>As of February 2014, Kailyn has [[delete fucking everything|gone into hiding]] after her most recent [[rape|scandal]].</s>
As of February 2014, Kailyn has [[delete fucking everything|gone into hiding]] after her most recent [[rape|scandal]].
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border=pink|background=white}}
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== Sunflower Associations ==
== Sunflower Associations ==
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=== Personal Life & Family ===
=== Personal Life & Family ===
[[Image:XRH83.jpg|thumb|left|Meet the Wilchers]]
[[Image:XRH83.jpg|thumb|left|Meet the Wilchers]]
[[Asperger's Syndrome|Disability ass]] demon '''Kailyn Marie Wilcher''' <small>(aka Kai ("''kay''"), Kailyn Kardashian, ForeverFailyn, Kailyn Wilsher, Demon Kai, Kween Kai, Kaivman, Gorilla, [[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome|FAS rere]], Potato head Retarded thing, etc.) </small> was birthed on May 18th 1990 to '''Lisa Sokoloski Wilcher''' <small>(aka Mama Wilsher, Mama Wheelchair, Mama Alchy, MW) </small> and dirty [[Spics|beaner]] '''Michael Wilcher''' <small>(aka Papa Wilcher, Papa Wilsher)</small>.
Kailyn was born with [[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome]] and [[Asperger's Syndrome]] which has given her a lulzy speech impediment, a compulsive [[mouth breather|giggle exhale]], retard induced [[bitch|cuntiness]], and a fuck load of [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|narcissism]]. Kai's parents are separated, and Kai lives as a [[Basement-dweller|"stay-at-home daughter"]] with Lisa in a Bowie (aka Booie) mansion decked out in nothing but the most glamorous 1970's decor, and the finest of dinnerware, flatware and drink ware: [[poor|paper plates, and plastic utensils and cups]].
[[File:FASevolution.jpg|thumb|right|FAS evolution]]
[[File:FASevolution.jpg|thumb|right|FAS evolution]]
As soon as Mama Wilsher found out her precious potato was retarded and deformed, Kai was [[garbage|doomed forever]]. Mama Wilsher enrolled her little shit-for-brains in various elementary schools before pulling her out of [[special education|retard classes]] so that she could [[school|homeschool]] Kai. '''The Sunflower Academy''' homeschool enabled Kai to rot in the Lavender Dungeon known as her room (formally Pink Dungeon) while Mama did all of Kai’s homework, which has resulted in Kai having the reading level of a second grader. Due to her [[enabler|moron of a mother]], Kai has never been told she has any disabilities even though she has a [http://imgur.com/a/UDNs4 hockey-stick palmar crease], a symptom unique to only those with FAS, and was thoroughly retard-tested as a small [[children|demon]].


On, [[Apocalypse|May 18th, 1990]], '''Lisa Sokoloski Wilcher''', and dirty ape [[Spics|beaner]], '''Miguel Wilcher''', [[Pro_life|welcomed]] great white ape, [[Asspie|Kailyn Marie Wilcher]], into the world. She was [[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome|special]] from day 1. Thanks to inferior genes and Lisa's alcoholism, Demon Kaka was born with retard induced cuntiness, a fuck load of [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|narcissism]] (despite being hideously unattractive), as well as an extra set of gums that have played a [[Mouth_breather|major role]] in her life.
Lisa [[A Game of Pretend|works]] from an in-home salon, '''[http://www.yellowpages.com/bowie-md/mip/lisas-hair-shanty-466364411 Lisa's Hair Shanty]''', twice a week doing old lady perms for the neighborhood hags while getting [[drunk|inebriated]]. Kailyn says that her dead-beat, [[idiot|enabling]] mother is her best friend, but in [[irl|reality]] she's her caregiver and scapegoat for when a Kai scandal breaks.  


Kailyn was a [[RAGE|demanding]] child and caused her parents to separate when she was just a small potato head. Lisa decided it was best if Miguel was only [[bitch|allowed]] to see his daughter when he showered her with gifts and/or cash. This tradition worked so well for The Wilchers, that they still follow it to this very day. Kailyn is a proud [[Basement-dweller|"stay-at-home daughter"]]. She and her mother live in a Bowie (pronounced: Booie) mansion, decked out in nothing but the most glamorous 1970's decor, and the [[poor|finest paper plates, plastic utensils and cups]] that disability checks can buy.
To support his [[retard|pride and joy]], Michael works at a courthouse cleaning air vents and is forced to live off microwave dinners in his shitty shack to ensure Lisa and Kai live a [[lazy|subsidized life]].


Lisa Wilcher [[A_winner_is_you|tried]] enrolling her daughter in public school, but for [[Sniper|some reason]] that never worked out. Lisa had the bright idea to pull Kailyn out of [[special education|retard classes]] and [[Bullystoppers|home school]] her daughter, so she could do all of Kai's homework for her ('''The Sunflower Academy'''). Kai had all day to [[Whore|flash her tits]] for [[Pedophile|strangers]] online and [[No_life|rot]] away in the Lavender Dungeon known as her bedroom (formally Pink Dungeon), all while pretending to be a thweet, innothent girl who lahvs make up!
Kai's extended uselessness of a family includes her Uncle '''Stephen E. Sokoloski''' <small>(aka Uncle-daddy Stephen)</small>, his wife and Kai's archenemy, her 5 year old cousin, '''Eli''' who all live with granny, '''Dorothy Sokoloski'''. Her grandfather, '''Stephen R. Sokoloski''', [[AIDS|passed away]] at the Wilcher estate sometime in 2007 in the midst of Kai's $500 monthly MAC makeup hoard-hauling and cam girl scandal.  
 
[[File:Kailips.jpg|thumb|right|HAYYYY GUYTH!]]
Thanks to Sunflower Academy, Kai reads on a 2nd grade level, and has a good vocabulary for a toddler.
The Kween blames Uncle Stephen for [[incest|giving her]] [[acne|pizza face]] genes, while Papa Wilcher's family is blamed for her being a [[fat|walrus]].  
Due to her [[enabler|Christian mother]], she has never been informed about her disabilities even though she has a [http://imgur.com/a/UDNs4 "hockey-stick" palmar crease], something unique to those with FAS. Kai has admitted to receiving a direct deposit once a month, but she's so [[Gullible|sheltered]] that she doesn't even question [[Government|where it comes from]].
 
Twice a week, Lisa [[A Game of Pretend|works]] at '''[http://www.yellowpages.com/bowie-md/mip/lisas-hair-shanty-466364411 Lisa's Hair Shanty]''', an in-home fail salon where the neighborhood grannies get perms and [[drunk|talk about the bible]].
Kailyn thinks she has the coolest mother in the world and they are [[Enabler|best friends]], but in [[irl|reality]] Lisa is just her primary caregiver, personal assistant, and publicist.
 
To support his [[retard|pride and joy]], Miguel works at a courthouse cleaning air vents and is forced to live off microwave dinners in his shitty shack to ensure that Lisa and Kai can enjoy a [[lazy|comfortable life]].
 
Kai's extended [[Inbred|family]] includes Grandma Beach House, '''Dorothy Sokoloski''', Uncle daddy '''Stephen E. Sokoloski''' (Is forced to do all maintenance and repairs for every woman in the Sokoloski family), Aunt Jeanie and Uncle Donald Griffen and their 5 year old son, '''Eli''' still live with Granny Sokoloski. Her grandfather, '''Stephen R. Sokoloski Sr.''', [[AIDS|passed away]] at the Wilcher estate sometime in 2007, the height of Kai's monthly $500 MAC hoarding and potpie pussy.
 
Kween Kai blames uncle-daddy Stephen for her [[acne|pizza face]] genes, while Papa Wilcher's side of the family is blamed for her [[Hambeast|bigger girl]] status.


<br><br>
<br><br>
==== Diet & Hygiene ====
==== Diet & Hygiene ====
Kailyn has admitted she does not use a shower and does not wash her own hair because she gets shampoo in her eyes. Kai is often seen wearing her dandruff as a hair accessory, and showing off her buttery teeth covered in plaque. Once a week, [[enabler|Mama Alchy]] hoses Kai off in the driveway and washes her hair in the Shanty's shampoo bowl to keep the fat beast from [[Stinkrat|stinking up]] the mansion too much.
Kailyn has admitted she does not use a shower and does not wash her own hair because she gets shampoo in her eyes. Kai is often seen wearing her dandruff as a hair accessory, and showing off her buttery teeth covered in plaque. Once a week, [[enabler|Mama Alchy]] hoses Kai off in the driveway and washes her hair in the Shanty's shampoo bowl to keep the fat beast from [[Stinkrat|stinking up]] the mansion too much.
[[File:Kaiweight.png|thumb|left|...Damn, girl!]]
[[File:Kaiweight.png|thumb|left|…Damn, girl!]]
To add to the smell, the Kween has been steadily gaining weight since her start on Youtube. Every year the trolls harp on the [[whale|obese whale]] and the following year they're more surprised than ever with her weight gain. At 5'2", the trolls estimate Kween Kai was nearing 200lbs in 2013 and are convinced she's well over 200lbs as she now has a massive shelf-ass, has moved into plus-sized clothing, and was forced to move up to a size 10 shoe due to her obese flippers.
To add to the smell, the [[cow|fat cow]] has been steadily gaining weight since her start on Youtube. Every year the trolls harp on the [[whale|obese whale]] and the following year they're more surprised than ever with her weight gain. At 5'2", the trolls estimate Kween Kai was nearing 200lbs in 2013 and are convinced [[fact|she's well over 200lbs]] as she now has a massive shelf-ass, has moved into plus-sized clothing, and was forced to move up to a size 10 shoe due to her obese flippers.
<br><br><br>
<br><br><br>
[http://imgur.com/a/jzVpJ#0 See Imgur album of the Kween's favorite foods.]
<small>'''[http://imgur.com/a/jzVpJ#0 SEE IMGUR ALBUM OF THE KWEEN’S FAVORITE FOODS.]'''</small>


<br><br>
<br><br>
 
=== Friends===
=== Bella ===
Besides [[You Don't Have Any Friends|superficial friendships]] with fellow failures on youtube, Kai has only ever mentioned having a single friend who is no longer her friend because she's a [[nigger|darkie]].
<br><BR>
==== Bella ====
Lisa bought Kai her one and only [[bestiality|friend]], Bella, a [[retard|derpy]] [[dog|mutt]] sold to them for thousands of dollars [[trolling irl|under the guise]] of being a purebred Yorkie. Kailyn claims she "would [[fuck|love]] Bella even if she was a [[Mr. Hands|horse]]". When Bella is not shitting and pissing all over the Wilcher mansion, because she never gets to go outside, she is being crushed by the retard-strength of her owner and suffocated by the [[genocide|fart wars]] in the Lavender Dungeon. For entertainment purposes, Kai often sprays air freshener in Bella's face to make her [[inhalants|"act silly"]].  
Lisa bought Kai her one and only [[bestiality|friend]], Bella, a [[retard|derpy]] [[dog|mutt]] sold to them for thousands of dollars [[trolling irl|under the guise]] of being a purebred Yorkie. Kailyn claims she "would [[fuck|love]] Bella even if she was a [[Mr. Hands|horse]]". When Bella is not shitting and pissing all over the Wilcher mansion, because she never gets to go outside, she is being crushed by the retard-strength of her owner and suffocated by the [[genocide|fart wars]] in the Lavender Dungeon. For entertainment purposes, Kai often sprays air freshener in Bella's face to make her [[inhalants|"act silly"]].  


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<center><youtube>ljmTzz2mm0c</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>ljmTzz2mm0c</youtube></center>
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<br><BR>
=== Friends===
Besides [[You Don't Have Any Friends|superficial friendships]] with fellow failures on youtube, Kai has only ever mentioned having a single friend, who is no longer her friend because she's a [[nigger|darkie]].




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[[File:Kakateeth1.jpg|thumb|left]]
[[File:Kakateeth1.jpg|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Fr7sO.jpg‎|thumb|right|]]  
[[Image:Fr7sO.jpg‎|thumb|right|]]  
'''David''' (aka Davit) is Kai's only love. They started dating when Kai was a mouth full of teeth attached to a 15-year old potato head retarded thing. Davit is a fatass who liked to party, drink and dabble in drugs, and was the only person to ever introduce Kai to socialization. Early in their relationship Kai and her mullet became pregnant with Avery Juan 1.0 but ended up [[abortion|aborting]] the demon at Davit and Mama Wilcher's demand. Throughout their 5 years together, Kai began her scandal timeline including [[cam whore|camming]], shoving her saggy gorilla tits in his friends' faces, having a [[gay|3-some]] with Davit and his friend "hot dave", and targeting Craigslist for [[tranny|trannies]] and [[dykes]] to calm her retard-hypersexuality. But in the end, Kai's retard-hypersexuality and selfishness ruined their relationship. In 2011, Kai broke up with Davit on blog-tv to appease trolls telling her to do it for the [[lulz|lulz]], and soon after ended the relationship for good.
'''David''' <small>(aka Davit)</small> is Kai's only love. They started dating when Kai was a mouth full of teeth attached to a 15-year old potato head retarded thing. Davit is a fatass who liked to party, drink and dabble in drugs, and was the only person to ever introduce Kai to socialization. Early in their relationship Kai and her mullet became pregnant with Avery Juan 1.0 but ended up [[abortion|aborting]] the demon at Davit and Mama Wilcher's demand. Throughout their 5 years together, Kai began her scandal timeline including [[cam whore|camming]], shoving her saggy gorilla tits in his friends' faces, having a [[gay|3-some]] with Davit and his friend "hot dave", and targeting Craigslist for [[tranny|trannies]] and [[dykes]] to calm her retard-hypersexuality. But in the end, Kai's retard-hypersexuality and selfishness ruined their relationship. In 2011, Kai broke up with Davit on ''BlogTV'' to appease trolls telling her to do it for the [[lulz|lulz]], and soon after ended the relationship for good.




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After their break-up in 2011, Kailyn made a tell-all video about their relationship. Painting herself as an [[Victim complex|innocent victim]], she said Davit was the one who made her get into the partying lifestyle. Davit responded with a rebuttal video owning up to a few hard truths, but adding that she was both manipulative and a liar, and that everything she did was of her own free will.
After their break-up in 2011, Kailyn made a tell-all video about their relationship. Painting herself as an [[Victim complex|innocent victim]], she said Davit was the one who made her get into the partying lifestyle. Davit responded with a rebuttal video owning up to a few hard truths, but adding that she was both manipulative and a liar, and that everything she did was of her own free will.
 
{{align|center|'''Kailyn Spilling the Beans''' '''David's Response'''}}
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
<br>
|<center><big>'''Kailyn Spilling the Beans'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>YhhkSn4GU68</youtube> <youtube>3gumMViJljQ</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>YhhkSn4GU68</youtube></center>
|}
 
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''David's Response'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>3gumMViJljQ</youtube></center>
|}
 
<br><br>
<br><br>


=== Matt (Husband, 2011-Current) ===
=== Matt (Husband, 2011-Current) ===
[[File:Kaicartoon1.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[File:Kaicartoon1.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[File:Mattliftskai.jpg|thumb|Matthew Hughes attempts to lift his prize cow (wife).|left]]
[[File:Mattliftskai.jpg|thumb|Matthew Hughes attempts to lift his prize cow.|left]]


'''Matthew Todd Hughes''' (aka Matt Drost, Goomba, Madd, Hubby) is a [[redneck|fat, dough-faced, retarded]] fag lover living in Maryland's "country" working as a cart-pusher at [[wal-mart|Wallyworld]]. Kai met Matt in the fall of 2011 on [[Plenty of Fish|Plenty of Fish]] while he was still dating [[nigger|Maureen Lewis]]. Mama Wilcher chaperoned Kai to Starbucks for a date with Matt while she supervised them from the parking lot. Three short months later, Matt proposed to Kai with a fashion ring from Wal-Mart.
'''Matthew Todd Hughes''' <small>(aka Matt Drost, Goomba, Madd, Hubby)</small> is a [[redneck|fat, dough-faced, retarded]] fag loving piece of white trash living in Maryland's "country" working as a cart-pusher at [[wal-mart|Wallyworld]]. Kai met Matt in the fall of 2011 on [[Plenty of Fish|Plenty of Fish]] while he was still dating [[nigger|Maureen Lewis]]. Mama Wilcher chaperoned Kai to Starbucks for a date with Matt while she supervised them from the parking lot. Three short months later, Matt proposed to Kai with a fashion ring from Wal-Mart.


On April 13th 2012, Friday the Thirteenth, lulz were had. Kai and Matt arrived in their most dazzling attire to be wed at the [[white trash|elegant St. Mary's County courthouse]]. Kai wore a dollar store tiara with an ill-fitted $20 dress from [[poor|Kohl's]], while Matt simply rolled out of bed and dressed himself in a Vintage McDonald's employee uniform.
On April 13th 2012, Friday the Thirteenth, lulz were had. Kai and Matt arrived in their most dazzling attire to be wed at the [[white trash|elegant St. Mary's County courthouse]]. Kai wore a dollar store tiara with an ill-fitted $20 dress from [[poor|Kohl's]], while Matt simply rolled out of bed and dressed himself in a Vintage McDonald's employee uniform.
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<center>{{Template:Bigred|NIGGER ALERT}}</center>
==== Mooren ====
==== Mooren ====


[[File:Craigslistpost_(1).jpg|thumb|left|The torn lovers]]
[[File:Craigslistpost_(1).jpg|thumb|left|The torn lovers]]


'''[[I'm rich and I'm beautiful|Maureen Elizabeth Lewis]]''' (aka Mooren, Momo, Nignog, [[Nigger]], Niggereen, Nigress, Ape, Chimp) was first introduced to the internets after Kailyn and Matt began dating. She is a [[batshit insane]] inbred welfare [[nigger]] with naturally drunk eyes, slurred speech and, like Kai, a [[Asperger's Syndrome|lulzy speech impediment]]. Matt [[lies|denied knowing]] the wild [[Nigger|ape]], but was dating and having sex with her for several months before his new deformed retard, Kai, came into the picture [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tj2430fkt30][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcDzncYLEc8].
'''[[I'm rich and I'm beautiful|Maureen Elizabeth Lewis]]'''<small> (aka Mooren, Momo, Nignog, [[Nigger]], Niggereen, Nigress, Ape, Chimp) </small> was first introduced to the internets after Kailyn and Matt began dating. She is a [[batshit insane]] inbred welfare [[nigger]] with naturally drunk eyes, slurred speech and, like Kai, a [[Asperger's Syndrome|lulzy speech impediment]]. Momo is a product of her father and aunt’s [[incest|sexual affair]], and was living in a cockroach infested trailer with her rapist father, Elmore Lewis, before he went to prison.
<br>
Matt [[lies|denied knowing]] the wild [[Nigger|ape]], but was dating and having sex with her for several months before his new deformed retard, Kai, came into the picture [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tj2430fkt30][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcDzncYLEc8]. Upon Kai's arrival, Matt ignored the nignog and lulzy [[internet stalking|obsessed stalking]] ensued.  
Upon Kai's arrival, Matt ignored the nignog and lulzy [[internet stalking|obsessed stalking]] ensued. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODevMrvK85k]


{{quote|weally, madd? weally? ...weally?|Maureen Lewis|stalking Madd}}
{{quote|weally, madd? weally? ...weally?|Maureen Lewis|stalking Madd}}
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<br>


Mooren found forums and blogs [[internets|online]] dedicated to trolling the FAS queen and started [[Infotainment|posting dirt]] on them. At her stalking peak, Mooren showed up at Wal-Mart several times a week and finally [[Don't feed the trolls|filmed her encounter]] with her ex, Matt. The [[crazy]] nignog has since slowed down, but is still stalking the couple. Trolls will only [[bait]] her for the lulz.
Mooren found forums and blogs [[internets|online]] dedicated to trolling the FAS Kween and started [[Infotainment|posting dirt]] on them. At her stalking peak, Mooren showed up at Wal-Mart several times a week and finally [[Don't feed the trolls|filmed her encounter]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODevMrvK85k] with her ex, Matt. The [[crazy]] nignog has since slowed her antics, but is still stalking the couple.  
<Br><br>
These days, trolls will only [[bait]] her for the lulz as she is now in her own [[psychopath|delusional competition]] with the Kween and is desperate to get impregnated by a [[Neckbeard|POF sperm whale]].
In Mooren’s freetime, she <s>learns how to play guitar</s> steals other people’s shitty guitar covers and sings over them. Some of her [[Earrape|better songs]] have been turned into music videos based on the Booie socialites’ love triangle via the Kween’s trolls and [[The Sims|Sims]] characters. [http://youtu.be/JwKiqeKbpPs] [http://youtu.be/sgnlDtyGcAM]
<br><br>
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[[Image:IUcvt.jpg|thumb|Lookin' tho thtunnin' on her weddin' day|left]]
[[Image:IUcvt.jpg|thumb|Lookin' tho thtunnin' on her weddin' day|left]]
[[File:Lumpyass.jpg|thumb|right|honeymoon at the local lake]]
[[File:Lumpyass.jpg|thumb|right|honeymoon at the local lake]]
 
As of 2014, Kai and Madd [[forever alone|live separately]] with their parents. Kai continues to live with her [[Concerned Mother|caregiver]] in Bowie while Matt lives with his [[white trash]] parents, '''Mary C. Hughes''' and '''Todd D. Hughes''', and 27-year old Kai-esque sister, '''Amber''', in Leonardtown. In the past, Matt would drive to Booie to visit Kai several times a month, but has realized his wife is a hideous whale and now only visits once a month to [[Sex In Christ|pump his whale full of sperm]].  
As of 2014, Kai and Madd [[forever alone|live separately]] with their parents. Kai continues to live with her [[Concerned Mother|caregiver]] in Bowie while Matt lives with his [[white trash]] parents, '''Mary C. Hughes''' and '''Todd D. Hughes''', and 27-year old Kai-esque sister, '''Amber''', in Leonardtown. In the past, Matt would drive to Booie to visit Kai several times a month, but has realized his wife is a hideous whale and now only visits once a month to [[Sex In Christ|pump his whale full of sperm]]. When confronted by the trolls about her shitty marriage, Kai insisted Matt [[bullshit|lived with her]] in the glamorous Wilcher mansion. In the midst of yet another lie, Kai was caught after trolls found her uploading to [[instagram|instagram]] with geotags in Madd's location.
<br><BR>
In the beginning, Matt thought Kai was [[internet celebrity|internet famous]] and thought he would get [[no|worshipped]], but trolls have since drove him off the internet forever. Soon after, Matt started to control Kai's internet access and if Kai disobeyed, mandatory beatings were had.  
When the trolls confronted her about her shitty marriage, Kai insisted Matt [[bullshit|lived with her]] in the glamorous Wilcher mansion. In the midst of yet another lie, Kai was caught after trolls found her uploading to [[instagram|instagram]] with geotags in Madd's location. In the beginning, Matt thought Kai was [[internet celebrity|internet famous]] and thought he would get [[no|worshipped]], but trolls have since drove him off the internet. Soon afterwards, Matt began controlling Kai's internet access and if Kai disobeyed, mandatory beatings were had.  


<br><br>
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[[File:Kaibump.jpg|thumb|right|She's not showing yet.]]
[[File:Kaibump.jpg|thumb|right|She's not showing yet.]]


The FAShionista had just turned 23 and having been a [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|waste of space]], she was [[pregnant|desperate for a purpose]]. Fortunately, Avery Juan 2.0 [[genocide|aborted itself]] in March of 2013. Months later, our FAS queen succeeded in conceiving an Avery Juan 3.0 and is expecting her fatass, middle-aged stans to buy her shit for her soon-to-be [[welfare|government leech]]. Kai continues to purchase hundreds of dollars worth of makeup to add to her hoard every month despite the anticipation of her [[lolcow|retarded potato spawn's arrival]] in July 2014.
The FAShionista had just turned 23 and having been a [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|waste of space]], she was [[pregnant|desperate for a purpose]]. Luckily, the Sokoloski women have a multigenerational cycle they have mastered to lock down financial income, called the ''Sokoloski Cycle'':
 
<Br><br>
Step 1: get [[married|hitched]] quickly
<br>
Step 2: get [[pregnant|knocked up]] instantly
<br>
Step 3: separate from your husband
<Br>
Step 4: demand money “''for the child''”
<br><br>
Fortunately, Avery Juan 2.0 [[genocide|aborted itself]] in March of 2013. Months later, our FAS queen succeeded in conceiving an Avery Juan 3.0 and is currently expecting her fatass, middle-aged stans to buy her shit for her soon-to-be [[welfare|government leech]]. Kai continues to purchase hundreds of dollars’ worth of makeup to add to her hoard every month despite the anticipation of her [[lolcow|retarded potato spawn's arrival]].
<br><br>
<center><gallery>
File:Mermaidsyndrome kai.png|Mermaid Syndrome?
File:Mouthbreather kaifetus.jpg ‎|already mouth breathing like Mama
File:Anatomyscan kaifetus.jpg|it’s supposed to be pointing at a vagina, go ahead and figure the rest out (Dr.Trolling, OB/GYN)
</gallery> </center>
<Br>
The Kween was thrilled to find out she would be having a girl to add to the ''Sokoloski Cycle''. Unsurprisingly, the mini [[baby|slack-jawed demon]]  has already proven to be an incompetent [[retard|little retard]] after Kai announced that her doctor had a really difficult time measuring the fetus’ nuchal translucency, which is the first common sign of [[downs|Down’s]]. Whether the mini demon will be a retard because Hubby [[Falcon Punch|punched]] Kai in the stomach, Kai was [[Christian|drinking while trying to conceiving]] or because it will be coming from two long lines of brainless morons, little [[retard|rere]] demon '''Made-Lyn Marie Wilcher-Hughes''' will make its appearance in the world, dead or alive, in July 2014.
<Br><br>
Since Kai has no friends, Mama Alchy will be holding a baby shower involving their 5 family members and another was claimed to be hosted by the in-laws' church, [[church|Callaway Baptist Church]]. The church has since denied the claims and is disgusted that it has been associated with such a retarded potato head thing.
Since Kai has no friends, Mama Alchy will be holding a baby shower involving their 5 family members and another was claimed to be hosted by the in-laws' church, [[church|Callaway Baptist Church]]. The church has since denied the claims and is disgusted that it has been associated with such a retarded potato head thing.
<br><br><br>
<br><br><br>
Line 145: Line 152:
KaiKhaod [chaos] began her Youtube career in 2007 with a misspelled username and the most lulzy [[wtf|wtfery]] to grace the Youtube makeup community. The FAS teen made her appearance with a beautiful, bleached mullet doing makeup reviews and tutorials while being [[stoned|high as a motherfucking kite]] which only emphasized her tard talk. She is a fan of makeup-turned-mommy vlogger, [[dyke|xSparkage]], and aspires to be just like her. Coincidentally, Kai and xSparkage became pregnant at the same time.
KaiKhaod [chaos] began her Youtube career in 2007 with a misspelled username and the most lulzy [[wtf|wtfery]] to grace the Youtube makeup community. The FAS teen made her appearance with a beautiful, bleached mullet doing makeup reviews and tutorials while being [[stoned|high as a motherfucking kite]] which only emphasized her tard talk. She is a fan of makeup-turned-mommy vlogger, [[dyke|xSparkage]], and aspires to be just like her. Coincidentally, Kai and xSparkage became pregnant at the same time.


The KaiKaod channel was eventually rage-deleted, paving the way for KailynKreations, which was also [[baleet|rage-deleted]] when a new scandal emerged.
The KaiKaod channel was eventually rage-deleted, paving the way for KailynsKreations, which was also [[baleet|rage-deleted]] when a new scandal emerged.


{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
Line 169: Line 176:


=== SincerelyKailyn (Privated) ===
=== SincerelyKailyn (Privated) ===
Kai created her SincerelyKailyn channel under Mama Wilsher's or Madd's personal information after she was offered products from a company requiring her channel be under Google's ad revenue terms. The channel content was mainly [[weblog|vlog]]-targeted, beginning with lifestyle vlogs, kitchen vlogs, and recently - pregnancy vlogs which involve her reading a pregnancy app on her [[iphone|iphone 4 not 4s]].
Kai created her SincerelyKailyn channel under Mama Wilsher's or Madd's personal information after she was offered products from a company requiring her channel be under Google's ad revenue terms. The channel content was mainly [[weblog|vlog]] targeted, beginning with lifestyle vlogs, kitchen vlogs, and in the end - pregnancy vlogs which involve her reading a pregnancy app on her [[iphone|iphone 4 not 4s]].


<center><youtube>gKhkowmSyq0</youtube> <youtube>zAaxn2DJf_U</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>gKhkowmSyq0</youtube> <youtube>vr6TnffLFKo</youtube></center>
<Br><BR>


=== MsKailynMarie ===
=== MsKailynMarie ===
 
After a record-breaking 4 day hiatus in February 2014, the Kween realized life sucks being locked up in the Lavender Dungeon, so she came crawling back to the internet. Hubby was very disappointed that she had blabbed about the rape allegations and gave her a [[Falcon Punch|beating]], thus the Kween decided it would be more responsible to adopt the “Ms” prefix in Hubby's respect.
After a record-breaking hiatus of 4 days, Kailyn realized she has no life without the internet and has crawled out of her hole. [[Bullshit|She vows never to make a pregnancy video again.]]
<br><br>
[[Bullshit|She vows never to make a pregnancy video again.]]


{{tinyquote|As much as I would love to share my pregnancy with my subscribers, it is best I do not. When events go beyond the slanderous posting of comments, it becomes harassment.|ForeverButthurt|color=silver|size=360%}}
{{tinyquote|As much as I would love to share my pregnancy with my subscribers, it is best I do not. When events go beyond the slanderous posting of comments, it becomes harassment.|ForeverButthurt|color=silver|size=360%}}
Line 187: Line 196:
===N00ds, Cam Girl, Cheating===
===N00ds, Cam Girl, Cheating===


In 2008, Naked photos were leaked after Kai sold her cellphone and the [[moron]] forgot to remove her SIM card before sending it to the buyer. The photo-leak included her 'shampoo bottle' picture depicting a travel-size shampoo bottle jammed in her angry vag-hole. It was regrettably [[eye bleach|seen by many]] but is no longer online, as Kai was underage at the time. Since then, Davit has leaked a couple more including a disfigured vag photo.
In 2008, Naked photos were leaked after Kai sold her cellphone and the [[moron]] forgot to remove her SIM card before sending it to the buyer. The photo-leak included her 'shampoo bottle' picture depicting a travel-size shampoo bottle jammed in her angry [[pussy|vag-hole]]. It was regrettably [[eye bleach|seen by many]] but is no longer online, as Kai was underage at the time. Since then, Davit has leaked a couple more including a disfigured vag photo.


Kailyn created a [[camwhore|MyFreeCams]] account under the username '''GirlyBrunette'''. This was her [[jew golds|source of nickles]] until a horny troll accidentally found her flashing her gorilla tits and eating pot pies on cam. Kween Kai logged into her account a final time, only to ask horny [[pedobear|pedos]] to help her delete her account.
Kailyn created a [[camwhore|MyFreeCams]] account under the username '''GirlyBrunette'''. This was her [[jew golds|source of nickles]] until a horny troll accidentally found her flashing her gorilla tits and eating pot pies on cam. Kween Kai logged into her account a final time, only to ask horny [[pedobear|pedos]] to help her delete her account.


In 2011, Kailyn was caught with online dating profiles and was using [[Philip Markoff|Craigslist]] to look for random [[hooker|sexcapades]], announcing in the ads that she was bisexual, trans-curious and interested in teen-aged girls. Some of the craigslist [[victims|girls]] took pictures with Kai, which Kai then uploaded to the internet and passed off as her 'friends' even though they were never seen again.  
In 2011, Kailyn was caught with online dating profiles and was using [[Philip Markoff|Craigslist]] to look for random [[hooker|sexcapades]], announcing in the ads that she was bisexual, trans-curious and interested in teen-aged girls. Some of the Craigslist [[victims|girls]] took pictures with Kai, which Kai then uploaded to the internet and passed off as her 'friends' even though they were never seen again.  
{{cg|DO NOT WANT|foreverkailyngallery1|center|<gallery>
{{cg|DO NOT WANT|foreverkailyngallery1|center|<gallery>
File:Kaysklit.jpg|Eat my puthy!
File:Kaysklit.jpg|smegma crust and chapped puthy lips
File:Kaysassidk.jpg|I'm 12 and what is this?
File:Kaysassidk.jpg|I'm 12 and what is this?
File:ForeverKailynUndies.jpg|She's [[hambeast|a lot fatter]] now, guys.
File:ForeverKailynUndies.jpg|She's [[hambeast|a lot fatter]] now, guys.
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<br>
<br>


Kailyn took a 40-hour makeup course in 2008, earning her a certificate of completion in a makeup artistry course. Considering the fat moron never properly graduated high school, she thinks her 40-hour completion is equivalent to a beautician license. Even so, for 7 years she's done the same makeup application with the only variable being the colors. Once confronted for being such a piece of shit, KaiKaiz decided she was a retarded shampoo girl in Mama Alchy's salon for a week.
Kailyn took a 40-hour makeup course in 2008, earning her a certificate of completion in a makeup artistry course. Considering the fat moron never properly graduated high school, she thinks her 40-hour completion is equivalent to a beautician license. Even so, for 7 years she's done the same makeup application with the only variable being the colors. Once confronted for being such a [[shit|piece of shit]], KaiKaiz decided she was a retarded shampoo girl in Mama [[drunk|Alchy's]] salon for a week.


{{tinyquote|Making beauty videos is my career.|Foreverkailyn|on why she doesn't have a job|color=silver|size=360%}}
{{tinyquote|Making beauty videos is my career.|Foreverkailyn|on why she doesn't have a job|color=silver|size=360%}}


Shortly after, Kai said she sold Scentsy and Avon, although she eventually admitted nobody had ever bought anything from her. She has went as far as making an interview OOTD and a video announcing her interview to [[Stfu|shut up the trolls]] but her interview was canceled due to snow melting before it hit the ground an hour away. She now [[lies|claims]] to get her money from YouTube ad revenue, holiday money, and Social Security Disability Income (SSDI). Kai has mentioned that she never intends on gaining employment since [[The Google|she created her own internet-meets-reality demise]]. More importantly though, she's married so she doesn't need to work!  
Shortly after, Kai said she sold Scentsy and Avon, although she eventually admitted nobody had ever bought anything from her. She has went as far as making an interview OOTD and a video announcing her pretend interview to [[Stfu|shut up the trolls]] but her interview was canceled due to snow melting before it hit the ground an hour away. She now [[lies|claims]] to get her money from YouTube ad revenue, [[welfare|holiday money]], and Social Security Disability Income (SSDI). Kai has mentioned that she never intends on gaining employment since [[The Google|she created her own internet-meets-reality demise]]. More importantly though, she's married so she doesn't need to work!  
<br><br>
<br><br>
Now that she is pregnant, she has announced she will be a stay-at-home mom "forever".
Now that she is pregnant, she has announced she will be a stay-at-home mom "forever".
Line 242: Line 251:
=== Rape Accusations ===
=== Rape Accusations ===
[[File:kaiexcuse.jpg|thumb|alt=Puzzle globe logo|MW's ghostwriting|right]]
[[File:kaiexcuse.jpg|thumb|alt=Puzzle globe logo|MW's ghostwriting|right]]
On October 2, 2013, Kailyn and Matt allegedly raped their friend ''A''. In February, the scandal was announced to the trolls after a troll [[raid|pretending]] to be a stan baited Kai for personal info. Kailyn brought up the rape herself, saying that ''A'' was "too drunk to chew her food", and that herself and Hubby were placed in separate police cars for questioning. The accusations were confirmed online by Bowie police reporting a forcible rape call on Kailyn's block that particular night. The incident was again confirmed when Mama Wilcher (ghostwriting for Kailyn) wrote contradicting social media statuses on Kai's behalf saying it was all a [[bullshit|"misunderstanding"]]. After realizing she had turned even the most [[politically correct]], [[social justice]] communities against herself she [[delete fucking everything|deleted everything]].  
On October 2, 2013, Kailyn and Matt allegedly raped their friend ''A''. In February, the scandal was announced to the trolls after a troll [[raid|pretending to be a stan]] baited Kai for personal info. Kailyn brought up the rape herself, saying that ''A'' was "too drunk to chew her food", and that herself and Hubby were placed in separate police cars for questioning. The accusations were confirmed online by Bowie police reporting a forcible rape call on Kailyn's block that particular night. The incident was again confirmed when Mama Wilcher (ghostwriting for Kailyn) wrote contradicting social media statuses on Kai's behalf saying it was all a [[bullshit|"misunderstanding"]]. After realizing she had turned even the most [[politically correct]], [[social justice]] communities against herself she [[delete fucking everything|deleted everything]].  


<br>
<br>
Line 248: Line 257:
<br><br><br>
<br><br><br>


==Kaivman Vocab & Quotes==
==Kaivman Vocab & Phrases==


Due to Kai's inability to enunciate properly due to her [[aspergers|disability ass]] and lack of reading skills, Kai has inadvertently created her own [[caveman|Kaivman]] language, usually referred to as ''Kaisms''.
Due to Kai's inability to enunciate properly due to her [[aspergers|disability ass]] and lack of reading skills, Kai has inadvertently created her own [[caveman|Kaivman]] language, usually referred to as ''Kaisms''.
Line 282: Line 291:
*snifficently:  significantly
*snifficently:  significantly
*sowrecksy:  siouxsie
*sowrecksy:  siouxsie
''(This section is [[Rickroll|ForeverUnfinished]])''


== Miscellaneous==
== Miscellaneous==


{{cg|Stunning Makeup Looks & More|foreverkailyngallery|center|<gallery>
{{cg|The Stunning Kween|foreverkailyngallery|center|<gallery>
 
File:Natural kai.jpg
File:ForeverKailynPregnancyLies.jpg|You can never trust that she's telling the truth.
File:ForeverKailynNightSwimming.jpg |A whale in its natural habitat.
File:ForeverKailynSprayingMakeup.png |After 7 years of doing beauty videos, she's perfected her on-screen application technique.
File:ForeverKailynOilyFace.jpg |Obviously she knows what she's talking about.
File:ForeverKailynOilyFace.jpg |Obviously she knows what she's talking about.
File:ForeverKailynMattLove.jpg | Kailyn and her hubby Matt.
File:ForeverKailynMattLove.jpg | Kailyn and her hubby Matt.
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Apekai.jpg
File:Kailynokcupid.jpeg|Looking for some side dick while dating Davit!
File:ForeverKailynontheprowl.png | Lookin' for her next man.
File:ForeverKailynontheprowl.png | Lookin' for her next man.
File:ForeverKailynNightSwimming.jpg |A whale in its natural habitat.
File:ForeverKailynPregnancyLies.jpg|You can never trust that she's telling the truth.
File:kailiverchat.png | One of her more amusing live chats.
File:kailiverchat.png | One of her more amusing live chats.
File:ForeverKailynSprayingMakeup.png |After 7 years of doing beauty videos, she's perfected her on-screen application technique.
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}
<br><br>
<br><br>
Line 307: Line 320:


File:Darkiekai.jpg|"Hey, that's my room!"
File:Darkiekai.jpg|"Hey, that's my room!"
File:Demonkai.jpg  
File:Potatoheadkai.jpg
File:Pegleg.jpg
File:Pegleg.jpg
File:Obesekaikai.jpg
File:McKailyn.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Nokaiday.jpg|Happy birthday!
File:Nokaiday.jpg|Happy birthday!
File:Clpost.jpg
File:Clpost.jpg
File:Potatoheadkai.jpg  
File:Demonkai.jpg  
File:Goombahughes.jpg
File:Goombahughes.jpg
File:Disabilityass.jpg
File:Disabilityass.jpg
File:Obesekaikai.jpg
File:Demonkaikaiz.jpg
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}


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* <s>{{ytuser|sincerelykailyn|Vlog YouTube Channel}}</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>{{ytuser|sincerelykailyn|Vlog YouTube Channel}}</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>{{tumblr|foreverkailyn|Her Tumblr}}</s> '''Deleted & squatted'''
* <s>{{tumblr|foreverkailyn|Her Tumblr}}</s> '''Deleted & squatted'''
* <s>[[http://www.modelmayhem.com/1656324 Model Mayhem]] '''Inactive'''
* <s>[http://www.pinterest.com/foreverkailyn Pinterest]</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>[http://www.pinterest.com/foreverkailyn Pinterest]</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>[http://www.foreverkailyn.com website]</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>[http://www.foreverkailyn.com website]</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>[http://www.cafemom.com/home/makeupmommy2B Her CafeMom profile]</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>[http://www.cafemom.com/home/makeupmommy2B Her CafeMom profile]</s> '''Deleted'''
---
* [http://www.modelmayhem.com/1656324 Model Mayhem] '''Inactive'''
<br><BR>
'''& etc.:'''
* {{instagram|kailynmariehhhh|Parody Instagram}} '''Inactive'''
* {{instagram|kailynmariehhhh|Parody Instagram}} '''Inactive'''
* {{twitter|ForeverKailynyt| Parody Twitter1}} '''Abandon'''
* {{twitter|ForeverKailynyt| Parody Twitter1}} '''Abandon'''
* {{twitter|foreverkailyn| Parody Twitter2}}
* {{twitter|foreverkailyn| Parody Twitter2}}
* [http://foreverkailyn.imgur.com/ Imgur album (troll archive)]
* [http://foreverkailyn.imgur.com/ Imgur album (troll archive)]
* [http://thewilchers.blogspot.com/ Booie Socialite SIM blog] '''Abandon'''
* [http://thewilchers.blogspot.com/ Booie Socialite Sims blog] '''Abandon'''





Revision as of 12:52, 26 February 2014



Hello Everyjuaaan!

"ForeverKailyn" (now MsKailynMarie) aka Kailyn Marie Wilcher-Hughes (fka KaiKhaod, LilKaiKaiz, KailynsKreations, SincerelyKailyn) is an obese, lazy, white trash socialite and self-proclaimed Youtube beauty guru from Bowie, Maryland. Kailyn has been shitting out Youtube videos since 2007. She currently holds the world record for producing the most lulz, scandals, and retard drama in a single lifetime next to her soul mate, Chris Chan.

The most notoriety Kai has ever received was a feature spot on Vh1's Best Week Ever blog for her signature phrase "Hai Everyjuan", and a segment on Willam's Beatdown: Episode 9.

As of February 2014, Kailyn has gone into hiding after her most recent scandal.

   
 
Even the president makes mistakes
 

 
 

—Kai, coming back from one of her scandals

   
 
I don't have a disability ass
 

 
 

—Kailyn Marie Wilcher Hughes

   
 
This is Tah Jay Mah Hai.
 

 
 

—Trying to pronounce Taj Mahal

   
 
People go off their diet on the weekend
 

 
 

—Stuffing her face on BlogTV

   
 
I have peroid dummy
 

 
 

—Trying to be the baddest bitch while refuting pregnancy rumors

   
 
It smells like... Paris amour.
 

 
 

Accurately describing the fragrance notes in Paris Amour

   
 
This is pink slice
 

 
 

—Attempting to say Pinksickle

   
 
I don't have gentle herpes.
 

 
 

—ForeverKailyn

   
 
This is rosebud slave
 

 
 

—Pronouncing rosebud salve

   
 
Sanba? Samba?
 

 
 

—Pronouncing scuba

   
 
Every since I've become pregnant all I do is think about my baby and all the things I would love to buy for him or her I don't even care about buying things for me anymore I'm I'm mommy mode 24/7 :)
 

 
 

—Before she spent $1000 over 3 months on drugstore make-up for herself

   
 
Yeah but my doctor didn't say i'm obese and i'm not
 

 
 

—ForeverDelusional

   
 
I need to be respons...ibilities
 

 
 

—ForeverResponsible


Sunflower Associations

Personal Life & Family

Meet the Wilchers

Disability ass demon Kailyn Marie Wilcher (aka Kai ("kay"), Kailyn Kardashian, ForeverFailyn, Kailyn Wilsher, Demon Kai, Kween Kai, Kaivman, Gorilla, FAS rere, Potato head Retarded thing, etc.) was birthed on May 18th 1990 to Lisa Sokoloski Wilcher (aka Mama Wilsher, Mama Wheelchair, Mama Alchy, MW) and dirty beaner Michael Wilcher (aka Papa Wilcher, Papa Wilsher). Kailyn was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Asperger's Syndrome which has given her a lulzy speech impediment, a compulsive giggle exhale, retard induced cuntiness, and a fuck load of narcissism. Kai's parents are separated, and Kai lives as a "stay-at-home daughter" with Lisa in a Bowie (aka Booie) mansion decked out in nothing but the most glamorous 1970's decor, and the finest of dinnerware, flatware and drink ware: paper plates, and plastic utensils and cups.

FAS evolution

As soon as Mama Wilsher found out her precious potato was retarded and deformed, Kai was doomed forever. Mama Wilsher enrolled her little shit-for-brains in various elementary schools before pulling her out of retard classes so that she could homeschool Kai. The Sunflower Academy homeschool enabled Kai to rot in the Lavender Dungeon known as her room (formally Pink Dungeon) while Mama did all of Kai’s homework, which has resulted in Kai having the reading level of a second grader. Due to her moron of a mother, Kai has never been told she has any disabilities even though she has a hockey-stick palmar crease, a symptom unique to only those with FAS, and was thoroughly retard-tested as a small demon.

Lisa works from an in-home salon, Lisa's Hair Shanty, twice a week doing old lady perms for the neighborhood hags while getting inebriated. Kailyn says that her dead-beat, enabling mother is her best friend, but in reality she's her caregiver and scapegoat for when a Kai scandal breaks.

To support his pride and joy, Michael works at a courthouse cleaning air vents and is forced to live off microwave dinners in his shitty shack to ensure Lisa and Kai live a subsidized life.

Kai's extended uselessness of a family includes her Uncle Stephen E. Sokoloski (aka Uncle-daddy Stephen), his wife and Kai's archenemy, her 5 year old cousin, Eli who all live with granny, Dorothy Sokoloski. Her grandfather, Stephen R. Sokoloski, passed away at the Wilcher estate sometime in 2007 in the midst of Kai's $500 monthly MAC makeup hoard-hauling and cam girl scandal.

HAYYYY GUYTH!

The Kween blames Uncle Stephen for giving her pizza face genes, while Papa Wilcher's family is blamed for her being a walrus.



Diet & Hygiene

Kailyn has admitted she does not use a shower and does not wash her own hair because she gets shampoo in her eyes. Kai is often seen wearing her dandruff as a hair accessory, and showing off her buttery teeth covered in plaque. Once a week, Mama Alchy hoses Kai off in the driveway and washes her hair in the Shanty's shampoo bowl to keep the fat beast from stinking up the mansion too much.

…Damn, girl!

To add to the smell, the fat cow has been steadily gaining weight since her start on Youtube. Every year the trolls harp on the obese whale and the following year they're more surprised than ever with her weight gain. At 5'2", the trolls estimate Kween Kai was nearing 200lbs in 2013 and are convinced she's well over 200lbs as she now has a massive shelf-ass, has moved into plus-sized clothing, and was forced to move up to a size 10 shoe due to her obese flippers.


SEE IMGUR ALBUM OF THE KWEEN’S FAVORITE FOODS.



Friends

Besides superficial friendships with fellow failures on youtube, Kai has only ever mentioned having a single friend who is no longer her friend because she's a darkie.

Bella

Lisa bought Kai her one and only friend, Bella, a derpy mutt sold to them for thousands of dollars under the guise of being a purebred Yorkie. Kailyn claims she "would love Bella even if she was a horse". When Bella is not shitting and pissing all over the Wilcher mansion, because she never gets to go outside, she is being crushed by the retard-strength of her owner and suffocated by the fart wars in the Lavender Dungeon. For entertainment purposes, Kai often sprays air freshener in Bella's face to make her "act silly".

Animal Abuse




David (Boyfriend, 2006-2011)

David (aka Davit) is Kai's only love. They started dating when Kai was a mouth full of teeth attached to a 15-year old potato head retarded thing. Davit is a fatass who liked to party, drink and dabble in drugs, and was the only person to ever introduce Kai to socialization. Early in their relationship Kai and her mullet became pregnant with Avery Juan 1.0 but ended up aborting the demon at Davit and Mama Wilcher's demand. Throughout their 5 years together, Kai began her scandal timeline including camming, shoving her saggy gorilla tits in his friends' faces, having a 3-some with Davit and his friend "hot dave", and targeting Craigslist for trannies and dykes to calm her retard-hypersexuality. But in the end, Kai's retard-hypersexuality and selfishness ruined their relationship. In 2011, Kai broke up with Davit on BlogTV to appease trolls telling her to do it for the lulz, and soon after ended the relationship for good.


Kai's Big Party


After their break-up in 2011, Kailyn made a tell-all video about their relationship. Painting herself as an innocent victim, she said Davit was the one who made her get into the partying lifestyle. Davit responded with a rebuttal video owning up to a few hard truths, but adding that she was both manipulative and a liar, and that everything she did was of her own free will.

Kailyn Spilling the Beans & David's Response




Matt (Husband, 2011-Current)

Matthew Hughes attempts to lift his prize cow.

Matthew Todd Hughes (aka Matt Drost, Goomba, Madd, Hubby) is a fat, dough-faced, retarded fag loving piece of white trash living in Maryland's "country" working as a cart-pusher at Wallyworld. Kai met Matt in the fall of 2011 on Plenty of Fish while he was still dating Maureen Lewis. Mama Wilcher chaperoned Kai to Starbucks for a date with Matt while she supervised them from the parking lot. Three short months later, Matt proposed to Kai with a fashion ring from Wal-Mart.

On April 13th 2012, Friday the Thirteenth, lulz were had. Kai and Matt arrived in their most dazzling attire to be wed at the elegant St. Mary's County courthouse. Kai wore a dollar store tiara with an ill-fitted $20 dress from Kohl's, while Matt simply rolled out of bed and dressed himself in a Vintage McDonald's employee uniform.

Matt has shown sexual interest in the gays by pretending to hate them, and even making his potato head wife go to church to cure her of bisexualism.


NIGGER ALERT

Mooren

The torn lovers

Maureen Elizabeth Lewis (aka Mooren, Momo, Nignog, Nigger, Niggereen, Nigress, Ape, Chimp) was first introduced to the internets after Kailyn and Matt began dating. She is a batshit insane inbred welfare nigger with naturally drunk eyes, slurred speech and, like Kai, a lulzy speech impediment. Momo is a product of her father and aunt’s sexual affair, and was living in a cockroach infested trailer with her rapist father, Elmore Lewis, before he went to prison. Matt denied knowing the wild ape, but was dating and having sex with her for several months before his new deformed retard, Kai, came into the picture [1][2]. Upon Kai's arrival, Matt ignored the nignog and lulzy obsessed stalking ensued.

   
 
weally, madd? weally? ...weally?
 

 
 

—Maureen Lewis, stalking Madd


Mooren found forums and blogs online dedicated to trolling the FAS Kween and started posting dirt on them. At her stalking peak, Mooren showed up at Wal-Mart several times a week and finally filmed her encounter [3] with her ex, Matt. The crazy nignog has since slowed her antics, but is still stalking the couple.

These days, trolls will only bait her for the lulz as she is now in her own delusional competition with the Kween and is desperate to get impregnated by a POF sperm whale. In Mooren’s freetime, she learns how to play guitar steals other people’s shitty guitar covers and sings over them. Some of her better songs have been turned into music videos based on the Booie socialites’ love triangle via the Kween’s trolls and Sims characters. [4] [5]

Married Life (2012-Current)

Lookin' tho thtunnin' on her weddin' day
honeymoon at the local lake

As of 2014, Kai and Madd live separately with their parents. Kai continues to live with her caregiver in Bowie while Matt lives with his white trash parents, Mary C. Hughes and Todd D. Hughes, and 27-year old Kai-esque sister, Amber, in Leonardtown. In the past, Matt would drive to Booie to visit Kai several times a month, but has realized his wife is a hideous whale and now only visits once a month to pump his whale full of sperm.

When the trolls confronted her about her shitty marriage, Kai insisted Matt lived with her in the glamorous Wilcher mansion. In the midst of yet another lie, Kai was caught after trolls found her uploading to instagram with geotags in Madd's location. In the beginning, Matt thought Kai was internet famous and thought he would get worshipped, but trolls have since drove him off the internet. Soon afterwards, Matt began controlling Kai's internet access and if Kai disobeyed, mandatory beatings were had.



Pregnancy (2013)

She's not showing yet.

The FAShionista had just turned 23 and having been a waste of space, she was desperate for a purpose. Luckily, the Sokoloski women have a multigenerational cycle they have mastered to lock down financial income, called the Sokoloski Cycle:

Step 1: get hitched quickly
Step 2: get knocked up instantly
Step 3: separate from your husband
Step 4: demand money “for the child

Fortunately, Avery Juan 2.0 aborted itself in March of 2013. Months later, our FAS queen succeeded in conceiving an Avery Juan 3.0 and is currently expecting her fatass, middle-aged stans to buy her shit for her soon-to-be government leech. Kai continues to purchase hundreds of dollars’ worth of makeup to add to her hoard every month despite the anticipation of her retarded potato spawn's arrival.


The Kween was thrilled to find out she would be having a girl to add to the Sokoloski Cycle. Unsurprisingly, the mini slack-jawed demon has already proven to be an incompetent little retard after Kai announced that her doctor had a really difficult time measuring the fetus’ nuchal translucency, which is the first common sign of Down’s. Whether the mini demon will be a retard because Hubby punched Kai in the stomach, Kai was drinking while trying to conceiving or because it will be coming from two long lines of brainless morons, little rere demon Made-Lyn Marie Wilcher-Hughes will make its appearance in the world, dead or alive, in July 2014.

Since Kai has no friends, Mama Alchy will be holding a baby shower involving their 5 family members and another was claimed to be hosted by the in-laws' church, Callaway Baptist Church. The church has since denied the claims and is disgusted that it has been associated with such a retarded potato head thing.


The Beginning: KaiKhaod, KailynsKreations

KaiKhaod [chaos] began her Youtube career in 2007 with a misspelled username and the most lulzy wtfery to grace the Youtube makeup community. The FAS teen made her appearance with a beautiful, bleached mullet doing makeup reviews and tutorials while being high as a motherfucking kite which only emphasized her tard talk. She is a fan of makeup-turned-mommy vlogger, xSparkage, and aspires to be just like her. Coincidentally, Kai and xSparkage became pregnant at the same time.

The KaiKaod channel was eventually rage-deleted, paving the way for KailynsKreations, which was also rage-deleted when a new scandal emerged.

Face Routine: Kai's First Video



The YouTube Sensation

ForeverKailyn (Deleted)

Kailyn's lifeblood, her bread and butter. Boasting a high of almost 13,000 subscribers and averaging between 1,000-3,000 views, it has taken Kai several years to get to such shitty success. Kai had her Google ad revenue disabled almost as soon as it was granted due to the Kween clicking her own ads in hopes for bigger paychecks[6]. Her uploaded videos include 20 minute foundation applications, Wal-Mart clothing hauls and, in the past, outfit of the day (OOTD) videos which have ceased due to overexerting her fatass to show an outfit. Occasionally, Mama would forget to give Kai her aspie meds and Kai would upload videos of her singing and dancing or babbling about nothingness. Rating are always disabled on her channels because the rating bar is always red.

Kai off her meds:


Day in the life of an escorted Kween:

SincerelyKailyn (Privated)

Kai created her SincerelyKailyn channel under Mama Wilsher's or Madd's personal information after she was offered products from a company requiring her channel be under Google's ad revenue terms. The channel content was mainly vlog targeted, beginning with lifestyle vlogs, kitchen vlogs, and in the end - pregnancy vlogs which involve her reading a pregnancy app on her iphone 4 not 4s.



MsKailynMarie

After a record-breaking 4 day hiatus in February 2014, the Kween realized life sucks being locked up in the Lavender Dungeon, so she came crawling back to the internet. Hubby was very disappointed that she had blabbed about the rape allegations and gave her a beating, thus the Kween decided it would be more responsible to adopt the “Ms” prefix in Hubby's respect.

She vows never to make a pregnancy video again.


 
 
As much as I would love to share my pregnancy with my subscribers, it is best I do not. When events go beyond the slanderous posting of comments, it becomes harassment.
 

 

—ForeverButthurt


Infamous Scandals

Shall I compare thee to a bag of weed? jk it's only oregano.

Kailyn is best known for her many scandals, averaging at least one big scandal a year. When the mean pretty lady trolls catch on, it blows out of proportion and our Kween rage-deletes her social media accounts and privates her YouTube channels, only to come crawling back when she's bored.

N00ds, Cam Girl, Cheating

In 2008, Naked photos were leaked after Kai sold her cellphone and the moron forgot to remove her SIM card before sending it to the buyer. The photo-leak included her 'shampoo bottle' picture depicting a travel-size shampoo bottle jammed in her angry vag-hole. It was regrettably seen by many but is no longer online, as Kai was underage at the time. Since then, Davit has leaked a couple more including a disfigured vag photo.

Kailyn created a MyFreeCams account under the username GirlyBrunette. This was her source of nickles until a horny troll accidentally found her flashing her gorilla tits and eating pot pies on cam. Kween Kai logged into her account a final time, only to ask horny pedos to help her delete her account.

In 2011, Kailyn was caught with online dating profiles and was using Craigslist to look for random sexcapades, announcing in the ads that she was bisexual, trans-curious and interested in teen-aged girls. Some of the Craigslist girls took pictures with Kai, which Kai then uploaded to the internet and passed off as her 'friends' even though they were never seen again.

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ForeverPoor

Kailyn's self-described "flawless" makeup coverage. Click for a larger view, you masochist.


Kailyn took a 40-hour makeup course in 2008, earning her a certificate of completion in a makeup artistry course. Considering the fat moron never properly graduated high school, she thinks her 40-hour completion is equivalent to a beautician license. Even so, for 7 years she's done the same makeup application with the only variable being the colors. Once confronted for being such a piece of shit, KaiKaiz decided she was a retarded shampoo girl in Mama Alchy's salon for a week.


 
 
Making beauty videos is my career.
 

 

—Foreverkailyn, on why she doesn't have a job


Shortly after, Kai said she sold Scentsy and Avon, although she eventually admitted nobody had ever bought anything from her. She has went as far as making an interview OOTD and a video announcing her pretend interview to shut up the trolls but her interview was canceled due to snow melting before it hit the ground an hour away. She now claims to get her money from YouTube ad revenue, holiday money, and Social Security Disability Income (SSDI). Kai has mentioned that she never intends on gaining employment since she created her own internet-meets-reality demise. More importantly though, she's married so she doesn't need to work!

Now that she is pregnant, she has announced she will be a stay-at-home mom "forever".

The job that got away

Pink Wednesday

After her Yahoo email was hacked, it was revealed that Kailyn often contacts companies begging them to send her free shit in return for a useless, aspie review video. An upcoming company called Pink Wednesday (a play on a quote from the movie Mean Girls), contacted Kai asking her to review their beauty and bath products. She agreed to review the products, not realizing she was only honoring us with the lulziest review of pseudo-products produced by none other than an internet troll. When it came to light that she had been pranked by a fake company, and that the body spray possibly contained cat pee, Kailyn promptly deleted the review and made a video fishing for sympathy.

Pink Wednesday Fiasco



Citizens of Bowie, MD--beware.

Rape Accusations

Puzzle globe logo
MW's ghostwriting

On October 2, 2013, Kailyn and Matt allegedly raped their friend A. In February, the scandal was announced to the trolls after a troll pretending to be a stan baited Kai for personal info. Kailyn brought up the rape herself, saying that A was "too drunk to chew her food", and that herself and Hubby were placed in separate police cars for questioning. The accusations were confirmed online by Bowie police reporting a forcible rape call on Kailyn's block that particular night. The incident was again confirmed when Mama Wilcher (ghostwriting for Kailyn) wrote contradicting social media statuses on Kai's behalf saying it was all a "misunderstanding". After realizing she had turned even the most politically correct, social justice communities against herself she deleted everything.


On February 22, she reactivated her Facebook to post her email for anyone who wanted to continue buying her things off her baby registry.


Kaivman Vocab & Phrases

Due to Kai's inability to enunciate properly due to her disability ass and lack of reading skills, Kai has inadvertently created her own Kaivman language, usually referred to as Kaisms.


  • materny laygins: maternity leggings
  • 'ply: apply
  • tho: so
  • quessioneer: questionaire
  • Ta Jay Mai Hai: Taj Mahal
  • pink slice: pinksickle
  • albertross: albatross
  • prennit: pregnant
  • limmidishon: limited edition
  • hallow every Juan: hello everyone
  • ith: It's
  • Davit: David
  • Madd: Matt
  • eeewwguyth: you guys
  • thuper: super
  • husbint: husband
  • katvondy: Kat Von D
  • weddin' wild: Wet & Wild
  • buddin: button
  • drewberry moore: Drew Barrymore
  • cowide: cow hide
  • Rosebud slave: Rosebud salve
  • Shore: sure
  • cayoot: cute
  • stuneen: stunning
  • priddy: pretty
  • trentin cream: tretinoin cream
  • snifficently: significantly
  • sowrecksy: siouxsie

(This section is ForeverUnfinished)

Miscellaneous

The Stunning Kween About missing Pics
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Troll Artistry

Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls About missing Pics
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See also


Accounts & External Linkage



& etc.:


ForeverKailyn is part of a series on YouTube.

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