1980s

What everyone in the Eighties looked like.

A typical man woman from the 1980s.

The 1980s was a gloriously tacky period of time spanning the years 1982 to 1992. Your parents and 16 year old girls who weren't even there fap to the decade fondly, even though it was actually ten years of ghey music, overrated movies, awful fashion and AIDS. They also Did a lot of coke and voted for Ronald Reagan.

Every song from the 1980's in a nutshell, followed by every song from the late 90's/early 00's in a nutshell.

List of things that happened in the 1980s

• The rise of New Wave.
• Morrissey invented gayds.
• Ronald Reagan fucked up the black person.
• Budd Dwyer blew his fucking brains out.
• Crossfire YEAH! YEAH!
• Internet stalking was yet to be invented.
• Boy George had an adventure.
• Danny Elfman sang that Weird Science song.
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Dragon Ball showed kids how to kill each other.
• DuckTales taught children the virtues of venture capitalism.
• Nintendo was invented, thereby enabling basement dwellers to spread rumors that some guy spent so long gaming that he died of malnourishment.
• Traci Lords made everyone a pedophile.
• J-pop stopped evolving permanently.
• Anime characters had Western names.
• Animation dropped in quality from entertaining stories to being just shitty toy commercials.
• M*A*S*H made whitey cry!
• Chris-chan is born.
• Many, many hair crimes. Ozone layer nearly entirely destroyed due to excessive use of Aqua*Net hairspray.
• Everyone looked like trailer trash in stirrup pants and stilettos.
• J.R. Ewing got shot. Everybody cared.
• Black midgets everywhere! Gary Coleman and Emmanuel Lewis are still trying to figure out WTF happened.
• Bill and Ted had an Excellent Adventure
• John Hughes' "blame the grownups" movies were considered high art by sixteen year old girls everywhere.
• Your sister had a crush on John Taylor from Duran Duran.
• Your brother had a crush on Nick Rhodes from Duran Duran.
• Your mom thought shoulder pads that made her look like a linebacker were attractive.
• Your mom also trampled other moms to get you the last Cabbage Patch doll in stock.
• People were not ashamed to be seen in public with rat-tails and mullets. Aimee Mann, then in a band pretentiously named 'til tuesday, may have had the most impressive rat-tail of all.
• Cyndi Lauper made trash-picking fashionable.
• People were still too retarded to figure out that shaving your pubic hair was way more comfortable and aesthetically pleasing.
• Madonna started screwing her way to the middle, starting with Jellybean Benitez, while living on popcorn and McDonald's french fries she dug out of dumpsters.
• Andy Warhol died after gallbladder surgery.
• Metallica was still metal.
• Punky Brewster became an early bloomer.
• Michael Jackson was still black.
• MTV actually had music videos.
• Pretty-boy hair-rock bands discovered that spandex wears better than denim.
• The Cure made 16 year old girls who cry in a corner, dress in all black, and hang out in cemeteries cool.

See Also

• Time
• 1984
• Telekinesis
• Retro
• Shut Up, Little Man!

This is a disambiguation page — we hope you feel less ambiguated.