Clarence

The titular character grabbing some tits just like his creator.

Clarence is (for now lol) a show on Cartoon Network that follows some fat fuck and his retarded-looking friends doing stupid shit and fucking things up by doing a variety of activities such as sneaking around the zoo at night, reenacting Star Wars in a McDonalds Play Place, or having a slumber party.

Of course, no show is without its flaws, as the characters look like someone shoved a pencil up a hippo's ass and made it squat down and draw on a piece of paper, thus resulting in their design. Surprisingly, some people out there don't like this show, and one particular co-worker working on a more popular show wants a certain someone to learn to keep their hands to themselves.

What's funny is that no one had even heard of this show until the above controversy occurred, and no one cared to check it out after the fact, either. The name "Clarence" is forever linked to a creator who made an advance on some chick for the lulz.

Characters

Flawless character design.

• Clarence - The typical modern American child. He tends to fuck everything up, is extremely obese and retarded, and can't be trusted with the slightest task. Also has the weirdest fucking voice for a child, which is provided by the mentally unstable creator of the show.

• Jeff - Clarence's friend, a "sophisticated" pseudo-intellectual suburbanite dickbag of a child who whines about everything, and resembles the obligatory default nigger character from Minecraft. Also, his parents are clearly lesbian, although the show can't outright admit it because it's supposed to be a kids show.

• Sumo - Probably the show's most lulzy character (sadly), as he's a piece of inbred midget backwash and an avid crystal meth user, hence his aged appearance and inability to express any sort of logic or rationality. He and his family are white trash to the max, a clear beckon to the majority of the show's audience.

• Belson - The only person who points out that Clarence is fucking annoying. He often bullies Clarance, who's apparently too dumb to notice that Belson is a douchewhacker and takes it from him like a bitch.

• Mary - Clarence's mother, who's only on the show because that fat fuck of a child came out of her gaping vagina. She's an embodiment of the typically lazy, slovenly Americunt woman.

• Amy - A tomboy that appeared in one episode. Her main fan base appears to be impressionable children, frumpy housewives, and lesbians. Clarence has a hard-on for her but neither one is sure who does the sticking and what hole to stick it in.

• Joshua - Has 3 known jobs and fails at all of them.

Episode Summary

RAEP FACE.

• Pilot - Clarence is the new kid at school and invites kids to his party and gives his teacher some softcore porn (no really). Clarence, being the autistic fat fuck that he is, no one goes to his party besides Jeff and Sumo, they break shit and watch Jeopardy, then open the Mystery Pinata which is full of bees, they get stung and cops show up because they prank called them and shit hits the fan even more. They then make up and eat ice cream and the episode ends. This shit was good enough for the fuckwits at CN to order a whole season of this shit.

• Fun Dungeon Faceoff - Clarence and his friends go to KFC, so far you can tell how much time and thought the writers have put into this show. Jeff only likes the fries which leads into the shit plot, While eating, Jeff goes to the bathroom so Clarence steals his fries and runs into the "Fun Dungeon" (Did I mention that Mary, Clarence's mother is watching them and not giving a shit about this). Jeff returns to see Clarence run into the "Fun Dungeon" with his fries he gives chase, they then start tearing the fun dungeon apart and swinging the nearest shit they can find at each other. Clarence drops the fries down a slide, we switch to Jeff who is about to lay the smackdown on a bitch, decides that they aren't worth it, they make up and the episode ends. (SEE A FUCKING PATTERN HERE?)

• A Pretty Great Day With A Girl - Clarence, reenacting Pompeii in his frontyard, is interrupted by Amy. She makes Clarence her bitch and they go on a bike ride. They ride into the forest and Belson sees, getting the rest of his faggotry gang to go after them, because they think they're going to Make Out. They find a rock the size of the Twin Towers after WTC and climb it. They are a discussion about SRS BUSINESS and are interrupted Belson and friends and they start throwing pinecones at each other for the rest of the episode, they also threw Sumo in for no fucking reason too.

• Money Broom Wizard - They go to an arcade, win prizes and make fun of LOTR . The writers again point out how much time and thought go into making this

• Lost In the Supermarket - Clarence goes to the Supermarket with Mary, he proceeds to steal shit, almost get kidnapped by a Pedophile, and sneak around in storage. Sumo comes in because why the fuck not and they start destroying the store, they crash into Mary who had a bunch of coupons and she loses them all, they get them all back and she becomes happy with all the Jew gold she saved.

• Clarence Millions - Coming up with an excuse to put no effort into things, Clarence makes his own form of reward system. He gives Clarence Dollars to the students and this causes a clusterfuck in the school. He then floods the market with money.

• Clarence Gets a Girlfriend - Pretty self-explanatory. He gets a girlfriend but fucks it up. The End.

• Jeff's New Toy - Jeff gets a new toy that can fly, he invites Clarence and Sumo over and keeps it in the box because he's a dick. Clarence then breaks it and the rest of the episode is filler.

• Dinner Party - Clarence's family is invited to a party, when they get there they eat, and go fucking wreck the basement (Clarence sticks his hand in fiberglass, you can tell how this turns out). They later go into the attic, find a playboy magazine, and fall through the floor. Episode ends

• Honk - Clarence gets a bicycle horn to worsen his already shit communication skills and annoys the shit out of everyone, the end.

• Dollar Hunt - Clarence starts a dollar hunt with a Foreigner, a Retard, and a Communist. He fucks up by switching the $1 with the $20 and has to make dinner with sponges and shit.

• Zoo - Clarence and his Schoolmates go to the zoo. Clarence and Belson are paired up but Belson only wants to see the dolphins. There's a Belson torture porn moment in the middle but then when the trip ends the teacher's incompetence leaves them stuck at the zoo. But she won't get fired because no-one in this show gets punished ever.

• Rise and Shine - Pointless filler of Clarence doing shit at 5:00 AM. Then a fucking mountain lion shows up and Clarence gives it a speech telling him to not kill everything, the Park Ranger shows up and shoots it.

• Man of the House - Home Alone rip-off.

• Puddle Eyes - Clarence falls asleep face down in a mud puddle (no he didn't suffocate unfortunately), then he wakes up with mud in his eyes and thinks he's blind. What follows next is stupid filler and proof that Clarence is secretly involved with the Illuminati.

• Dream Boat - Sumo tries to build a boat after a detention.

• Slumber Party - Clarence is accidentally invited to a girl's slumber party. The end.

• Nature Clarence - A Joshua torture porn episode. Joshua gets jelly of Clarence's impossibly good luck, goes insane, and gets dumped.

• Average Jeff - Jeff fails a test and now he thinks he'll be stuck working at Wal-Mart for the rest of his life.

• Lizard Day Afternoon - Clarence and Sumo chase a lizard while Jeff tries to get Belson to give him a turn on his Oculus Rift rip off.

Skyler Page Fiasco

Touch me and my Twitter army will fuck your shit up.

On June 29th, 2014, Skyler Page, the creator of this clusterfuck of a cartoon, was accused of touching a lady who works on Adventure Time (serves her right for working on a shittier show) in a number of ways that she wasn't okay with. Emily Partridge, the sandwich artist in question, decided to vent her frustrations regarding the situation on her personal Twitter account, first by sending out a series of strange, cryptic tweets, and then all out name-dropping Skyler and accusing him of being a boob-groping bastard.

As soon as the feminist cunts on Tumblr and Twitter got wind of the event, they went full retard to defend the protection of creativity for wimminz everywhere, thus resulting in Skyler being fired from Cartoon Network. The show is expected to continue for now, just without its creator's input. Remember kids, make a shitty cartoon and try to date co-workers and you too will be accused of molestation!

<a href="https://twitter.com/empartridge/status/471095266620092419"></a>

Nothing says feminism as much as comfort

<a href="https://twitter.com/empartridge/status/484551508541706240"></a>

She's asking for it

A Page of Skylers

• 
  Skyler Page
• 
  Not to be confused with Skyler Paige
• 
  Who is not to be confused with Skyla Paige

See Also

• Cartoon Network
• Adventure Time and Regular Show
• Almost raped
• Anthropomorphic
• Feminazi

External Links

•  empartridge - protected by feminists and white knights

Clarence is part of a series on Television Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.

Clarence is part of a series on Social Media Visit the Social Media Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article August 2 & 3, 2014
Preceded by Luigi's Death Stare	Clarence	Succeeded by Vaporwave