Fallout: Shadow of Boston

Fallout: Shadow of Boston (often incorrectly referred to as Fallout 4) is an upcoming Open World FPS/RPG by Bugthesda Shitworks, the creators of such classics as Arrow in the knee and Stop right there, criminal scum!, that is scheduled to be released on November 10th, 2015. It is at least the 10th installment in the Fallout franchise, although it is only the 4th one to actually be released due to most of them being complete crap that never made it out of beta. It is also only the second installment in the series to be developed by Bethesda since purchasing the Fallout franchise, so you know that it's going to be good!

The Story

Fallout: Shadow of Boston takes place in Boston, 200 years after the nuclear apocalypse, and puts you into the role of a pre-war husbando or waifu with an infant son named Shaun and a robot butler named Codsworth. The game begins with a last-gen quality Vault-Tec salesman knocking on your door and making you fill out some boring forms, you then slam the door in his face before he can even finish talking.

Five minutes later, you go to change Shaun's diaper and the apocalypse begins. You rush your family to Vault 111 and somehow manage to get into the vault while your family is seemingly vaporized by an atomic blast. You then wake up 200 years later as "The Sole Survivor" of Vault 111, after which you immediately return home, get Codsworth to make you dinner and then go out and buy a dog. From there, you will explore the most ambitious and bug-filled world that Bethesda has created since their 2011 smash hit, Skyrim.

The Pip-Boy Edition

Half-way through the 30-minute E3 reveal of Fallout: SoB, Bethesda revealed a collector's edition of the game that comes with a $60 plastic iPhone case, a poster and a tin-can that you can store your copy of the game in. It sold out within days, giving much butthurt to those who couldn't get one in time.

It also led to some arseholes attempting to sell their Pip-Boy Edition pre-orders on Ebay for several times the original retail price.

Cool New Features!

Fallout: SoB is basically the exact same game as Fallout 3 with some "new features" that have been ripped directly from other games.

Fallout: Doki Doki Kokoro Memorial Edition!

It has been revealed that you will be able to romance your companions in SoB, regardless of their gender. Unfortunately, it was then clarified that no, you won't be able to fuck the dog or the robot - Furries and machinophiles then went BAWWWWW.

The fact that you're back to dating right after waking up to learn that your spouse and child were allegedly vaporized could also mean that SoB will be part Cuckolding-sim.

Minecraft: Fallout Edition

Fallout: SoB will feature the ability to build settlements and make cool pixel-art out of giant blocks. Bethesda demonstrated this at E3 by showing an edited Megaman sprite made out of colored blocks.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Shadow of Boston

Because the shooting aspect of Fallout 3 was complete and utter shit, Bethesda enlisted the help of the brave space marines at ID Software to make SoB's gun-play feel good. The end result is a game that's basically S.T.A.L.K.E.R. if it were set in Boston and made by a team of incompetent losers.

Characters

Nora

Your waifu if you choose to play as a male character.

Howard

Your husbando if you choose to play as a female character.

Shaun

Your infant son whose appearance is generated based on his parents. A popular theory is that he entered Vault 111 with you, was adopted by intelligent Deathclaws 180-years later and he still roams the wasteland as "Shaun of the Deathclaws".

Codsworth

Your robot butler who is very happy to see you after 200 years of sitting around the house doing nothing. Can refer to the player as "Fuckface" and act as a companion.

Dogmeat

Your pet dog and emergency food supply. You find him outside a Red Rocket service station early in the game.

Piper

Works for Faux News, bringing you the truth. Companion and fuckbuddy.

Preston Garvey

A black gentleman who is the leader of The Commonwealth Minutemen, whoever the fuck they are.

The Mysterious Stranger

???

Weapons

Unlike Fallout 3's illustrious crafting system that only allowed you to craft 8 different items, SoB takes it up to 11 and gives you access to at least 50 base weapons and 700 modifications for those weapons. Here are some of the more notable weapon from the pre-release footage.

Pipe Rifle

A rifle made out of pipe.

Laser Musket

Crank-action laser gun that's too slow!

Double Sawblade Baseball Bat

Because adding one sawblade to your baseball bat wasn't good enough.

Emo Baseball Bat

A baseball bat covered in razor blades, perfect for the Emo wastelander on the go.

Junk Jet

Launches cuddly teddy bears that cause people's heads to explode.

Mutants, Enemies n' Shit

Deathclaws

Extremely friendly creatures that you should walk up to and pet.

Super Mutant

Because "Mutant" wasn't a cool enough name.

Super Mutant Behemoth

They've got chainguns this time around. YOU ARE FUCKED.

Feral Ghouls

Typical Zombies.

The Legendary Feral Ghoul

A legendary Zombie.

Mirelurks

Mutant crabs that can cut people in half.

Blood Bug

Giant fucking mosquitos that can give you radiation poisoning, AIDS and Ebola.

Yao Guai

Bears that will cause your face to melt if they lick it.

Synths

Androids that look like the Terminator.

Robots

Protectrons, Gutsies and Sentries! Oh my!

Radscorpions

Boring.

Radioactive Batscorpions

Half bat, half scorpion, half ManBearPig and no more than 99% awesome.

Mole-Rats

The ninja of the irradiated animal kingdom, can operate light switches and then proceed to rape the player.

Mole-Rat Behemoth

A huge-ass motherfucker that is likely the final boss of the game.