Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 3, 2024

Asperger's Syndrome

Ass Burgers Syndrome' is a term that grew out of the wild and competitive "Publish or Perish" medical research establishment. A certain kike named Dr. Hans Asperger, due to his Jew instinct to make up nonexistent diseases to scam otherwise normal people out of their money, had the brilliant idea of putting all the psychopaths with little or no social skills in one group and diagnosed them with a new mental illness: AUTISM. (The name itself is a euphemism for what he called "Autistic Sociopaths"). Like all mental illness there is absolutely no physical evidence that it actually exists, but for expecting parents it replaces Down's Syndrome as the number one disorder they fear their child will develop. It differs from High Functioning Autism in that it was considered utter bullshit before it was popular to invent psychiatric disorders.

Asperger-monsters are the most self-centered, selfish pieces of shit on the planet. Devoid of empathy, social reasoning, social context, or self-awareness, they are sociopaths with another definition, who live to collect and catalog meaningless items like barcodes, bottletops, and plastic crap by any means possible including murder. Common symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome include failing at social interaction and empathy, failing at communication, failing at getting a job, failing at life, failing at hygiene, becoming obsessed with animu or video games, and breaking out into fits of Stress™ when their strict routines are broken or when they're asked to stop being lazy, self-serving leeches living off the government and their parents.

For these reasons, Asperger's Syndrome has greatly eclipsed ADHD as the popular diagnosis of choice for pretty much every group of retards on the internet. It is of no coincidence then that all people with Asperger's Syndrome are fugly.

Interestingly, the effects of long-term neglect in early childhood are nearly identical to Asperger's Syndrome, which itself can be fairly compared to psychopathy and sociopathy. This proves to be a good argument for drastic measures. Be sure to thank the nearest Aspie for drawing Sonic the Hedgehog porn rather than killing and eating neurotypicals (with chicken tendies on the side).

Asperger's Syndrome remains the one of the most compelling argument for eugenics ever established. Examples of famous people with assburgers are Muhammad, Albert Einstein, Al Gore, L. Ron Hubbard, Jay Leno, Abraham Lincoln, Mark Zuckerberg, Hitler, and the Japanese.

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