Wikichan/Candlejack

The man himself

Candlejack is a character from the hit TV show Freakazoid, he first appears in an episode when Freakazoid and a bunch of ki

The secret

In this box I will not mention his name. The thing is, when you say his name, you will be kidnapped before you can finish your post. (Luckily he is always nice enough to press the "submit" button for you!)

Common Misunderstanding

Remember kids: You have to say his name to get kidnapped!! As in, saying Candleja- will not get you kidnapped, although many people pretend to be kidnapped. This brings on the wrath of anonymous. You do not want to bring on the wrath of anonymous.

How to Defeat Him

You can't. You could try to trick him into saying his own name. 'Who are you?" may be a good start, but try to be a little more subtle. However, once he attempts to kidnap himself, he will realize what you did there and it may just further piss him off. If you have pumpkin pie, you might be able to get away with saying his name, but don't count on it.

A True Story

Dear /b/,

This is a true story and one that was been haunting me for quite sometime.

When I was nine years old my babysitter raped me. My parents would often go out for dinners and parties on the weekdays when I was a kid and they would always ask our next-door neighbor, Jack, to watch me when they were out. Jack and I had a lot of fun together he was a really good guy, he was on the football team, and honors roll. But one day we were playing hide and go seek and I decided to hide in the basement.

I ran downstairs to out basement that doubled as a study and a library. There was one desk in the middle of the room, which my mother always liked to keep candles on to read by. I dove under the desk giggling to myself thinking jack would never find me. Jack took awhile to come down stairs and when he finally did I fell silent and held my breath as he began to search the basement. When he finally looked under the desk I realized that he was not wearing any clothing.

He found me and looked at me with the most suggestive eyes I’d ever seen. I was too scared to scream but at the same time comforted by them. Jack then ripped me out from under the desk and through me on top of it. He started tearing away at my clothing trying to get to my naked body. I wanted him to stop and in an effort to get him off of me I hit him with a candle. Jack was determined to have me though and continued to strip me.

But then my parents came home and heard my yells. My mom got scared and said youre moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air

I begged and pleaded with her the other day But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way She gave me a kissin and she gave me my ticket I put my walkman on and said I might aswell kick it

First class, yo this is bad, Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass Is this what the people of bel-air livin like, Hmm this might be alright!

I whistled for a cab and when it came near the Licensplate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air

I pulled up to a house about seven or eight And I yelled to the cabby yo, home smell you later Looked at my kingdom I was finally there To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air

External links

• Source
• Freakazoid! Candle Jack episode on YouTube