Carmen Electra complex

Carmen Electra's got b00biez and r1bz!!!

She'd give anyone a complex if you know what I mean!

This man is experiencing the anguish of not meeting Carmen Electra's many needs, poor guy.

Carmen has trouble sitting still due to centipedes.

Carmen has an exquisite ass. (and a penis apparently).

The Carmen Electra complex is actually either of two entirely distinct psychoneurotic complexes:

1. The belief that one is Carmen Electra herself
2. A neurosis revolving around the scientific fact of Carmen Electra's hotness coupled with a sense of personal inadequacy stemming from deeply repressed sexual frustrations as well as conscious, failed sexual advances

Since clinical opinion is currently that only one person has a recognizable Carmen Electra complex of Definition 1, the remainder of this article is devoted to Definition 2.

Description of the neurosis

In patients of Caucasian origin with this complex, a certain gestalt invariably presents itself:

• Thick glasses
• Addiction to the Internets, often to download pictures of Carmen Electra
• An annoying, nasal manner of speaking
• Clinical assessment that patient won't ever get any
• Offputting acne or other unsightly dermal affliction
• Associated interests in nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, and computer hacking skills

However, these correlations are not diagnostic. The clinician should begin a thorough psychoanalytical investigation into any patient showing these associated signs. The clinical assessment should work from the present moment back. Questions the astute analyst will ask include, "Would you bone Carmen Electra if you could?", "How often do you dream of Carmen Electra?", and importantly, "Do you feel that, even if Carmen Electra were madly in love with you, would you feel somehow unworthy of her affection?" Of course, the typical heterosexual male will answer yes, often, and no; but the person suffering from an unresolved Carmen Electra complex will answer yes, always, and yes if being truthful. Massive denial and repression may prevent the patient's insight into feelings of inadequacy, particularly those calling into question his virility. Insight is a sign of good prognosis. To explore whether the patient's ego-sum-virs (i.e., I-am-man) integrity has collapsed upon exposure to Carmen Electra's radiant hotness, the analyst may have to probe the patient's psyche further.

Most neurotic complexes are set from unresolved conflicts in infancy and early childhood, but the Carmen Electra complex typically occurs in the Phallic stage of psychosexual maturation. Crucially, a pre-existing psychosexual fixation counterindicates this neurosis, so the therapist must continue examination into early development.

Etiology and treatment

The Carmen Electra complex is curious in that the complex is laid during the Phallic stage of psychosexual development, although it does not represent a phallic regression per se. A typical-developing teenage boy may begin using his family's computer to browse the Internets in search of material to explore his budding sexuality with. In any case, this hitherto normal boy may stumble upon pictures of Carmen Electra or see her on television. It seems some boys just aren't ready for Carmen Electra's hotness and instead of consummating her hotness, they turn inward to reflect on their newly found personal sense of inadequacy. The boy, previously uncovering his latent sexual impulses and developing a masculine identity of virility, experiencing ecstasy after noticing the power of his erection and dysphoria after learning of its reflex flaccidity, becomes dominated with flaccidity. The ego-sum-virs splits as the sense of virility travels from the conscious ego to the subconscious superego where it becomes a neurotic component of the ego-ideal. Hence, a Carmen Electra complex sufferer progressing well under analysis may make the insight, "I can never be that man for her--or any woman!" This represents the core of the complex. After this insight is rendered, the analyst's duty is to reveal to the client that maybe he does not need to be that man for Carmen Electra at all to be a worthy and honestly manly man and that, even if he was unable to please Carmen Electra sexually and otherwise, this does not falsify the idea that he might please another woman or, indeed, several women, possibly at the same time!

Differential Diagnosis

The psychoanalyst must remove all doubt that another neurosis is behind the symptoms.

Obsessive Neurosis

Obsessive neurosis is superficially quite similar to the Carmen Electra complex; however, analysis reveals many differences. First of all, the obsessive-compulsive's neurosis is usually not limited to or even necessarily inclusive of Carmen Electra. The root of the obsessive neurosis is an intense anxiety of environmental uncertainty, whether it be contamination, counting, morality, or cam whores. The obsessive-compulsive is usually aware of the peculiarity of his or her position and apt to find treatment rather than live in denial.

An obsessive-compulsive may have an intense ambivalence towards Carmen Electra as a result of the splitting ego defense mechanism. To relieve the cognitive dissonance inherit in this ambivalence, the sufferer may begin to obsess with doing the deed with beautiful Carmen Electra, collecting facts about her, and so on. This does not signify the Carmen Electra complex but rather an obsessive neurosis centering on Carmen Electra.

Erotomania

The erotomaniac is psychotic in every sense of the word. His or her delusion is that a person is in love with him or her despite no actual communication or negative communication. The erotomaniac may carry out various compulsions to prove his or her love. Note the absence of unworthiness in light of Carmen Electra.

The erotomanic may fall delusionally in love with Carmen Electra and hold that it is mutual. He or she may collect paraphernalia of her hotness, but the origin is psychotic rather than psychosexual.

Inferiority complex

In the inferiority complex, a generalized sense of personal inadequacy is recognized. Its origin is in pre-Phallic psychosexual development and not exposure to Carmen Electra's undeniable hotness. In many cases, this inferiority complex drives a reaction formation called the Napoleon complex that leads to the neurotic's achieving greatness. In glaring contrast, the Carmen Electra complex sufferer usually wallows about in intense self-pity; in this, he is not so different from the narcissistic character.

Self-diagnosis

A whole community of self-diagnosed Carmen Electra complex sufferers, who cleverly refer to themselves as Carmen whores, is growing on the Internets. They contend that their psychoneurosis is anything but an illness and resent the suggestion that they should seek treatment. They collectively reinforce their denial that any heterosexual male exposed to Carmen Electra's hotness could not help but develop a complex.

Carmen whores sometimes state that they feel they are on the wrong planet. If so, why are they on the planet that has Carmen Electra living in it? In either case, they have formed a movement to guard themselves against the projected hostility of the so-called neuro(tic)-Car(men)-Night (they believe the nonafflicted have not yet seen the light of dawn).

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Featured article September 25, 2005
Preceded by A frank discussion of mental illness	Carmen Electra complex	Succeeded by Centipede filled vagina