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[[Image:MeInMahThong.png|frame|center|<center>We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday.</center>]]</div>
[[Image:MeInMahThong.png|frame|center|<center>We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday.</center>]]</div>
Latest revision as of 13:32, 19 January 2022
Individual Forums [-+]
The B.B.S. (Blandly Blithesome Shit) is divided neatly into categories, in order to make sure every single pathetic social group is accommodated and duly absorbed into the Jewish conglomerate. The scale below indicates which section applies to which "social group", which will hereafter be referred to as "degree of stupidity," a more accurate assessment of the groups relative to each other. In the table below, are the Degrees of Jewgrounds Forum Stupidity (From Most → Least Mentally Developed).
Nature of Stupidity
Mildly Obtuse Suburbanites
Inner-City Educated
Illiterate Rural Folk
Limited Sentence Construction Ability
Raised by Wolves/The Homeless
Down Syndrome Sufferer
Complete Lack of Sentience
Vegetative Paralysis of the Brain
African/Aboriginal
Name of Forum
Programming
Flash
Politics
Clubs & Crews
Audio
Video Games
Art
Where is/How to?
General
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General
On a scale of 1-10, just how massive a Jew are you?
Relative Jewishness
1: FULLY-LITERATE ARYAN⇒5: MCDONALD'S EMPLOYEE⇒ 10: JEWGROUNDS MATERIAL
If you scored a ten (or higher) on the preceding chart, the General forum is, unquestionably, the place for you. Below is a mere sampling of the supreme Jewishness on display at every waking moment of the day:
Anythingcanbediscussedhere, as long as it's lame. If you have sex with any member of your family, this is the board to post about it. If you're in the mood to discuss your wiping habits after taking a shit, look no further than here. And lastly, if you have absolutely nothing to say, but enjoy hearing yourself talk, you're definitely in the right place. In short, this is just Jewgrounds trying to be /b/.
Just How Close is "Too Close"?[-+]
Threads about how you plan to kill yourself are also praised, and often grow to 30-page emofests before someone notices. Also note that the Newgrounds mods rule with an iron fist, deleting and banning any attempt at faggotry. Posters on the General Forums are wholly unoriginal, but then again, when the entire population is composed of 13 year old boys, little else could be expected. One should prepare to see tons of topics about the exact same thing, and many moldy, stolen 4chan memes, which are always held to the highest standard of humor, despite the fact that people stopped saying them at least 100 years ago. Oh, and whatever you do, don't fucking advertise your shitty flash on the forums. The Internet Tough Guys of Newgrounds will further prove their virginity by down-voting it until you have to delete it whilst trying to slit your wrists with a butter knife.
The Virgin (see below) is the largest constituent of this forum. Ubiquitous and unavoidable, these users are quite easy to spot due to the topics they create with reckless abandon, asking such mind-boggling questions as "Do girls Poop?" and "Have you ever seen a naked breast?"
Do Girls Poop?[-+]
While frequenting this visible focus of all Jewgrounds-related decay, it's important to remember to make heavy use of the emoticons, conveniently placed above the posting text field with each and every post you make. Use, especially, the "embarrassed" or "blushing" face to indicate your own sexual ambiguity, a common trait that will inevitably lead to your acceptance by the populace of this site.
A common prank on the General Forum demonstrating that stunning degree of faggotry involves the infamous VIEW/REPLY RATIO[-+]
The gist of this prank is to take advantage of the high percentage of homosexuals and trannies present on that forum, all of whom have an overarching and instinctual love of the cock. At the top of each thread, the relevant statistics of that thread are displayed: "views" indicates the number of times the topic has been clicked, and "replies" indicates the number of times users have bothered to post in that topic.
Whenever a topic of a sexual nature, especially involving the male genitalia is on the front page of General, the number of views tends to skyrocket, while the number of replies remains relatively low. This indicates that Jewgrounders are too busy clicking on the topic, and subsequently fapping to the subject matter, that they have no time to post a reply to that topic.
Me in my Thong[-+]
On a different note, make sure, when browsing this forum, to keep in mind that the average IQ is well below the threshold denoting a capability to produce coherent sentences, thus the proliferation of both rampant unintelligible postings, and the rise of Grammar Fascism by the limited elite in Jewgroundsian society.
This push towards Nazism on the General forum has many of that lower-caste of money-grubbing Jews snarling away into the darkness of the B.B.S., to inhabit less profitable, but more Anti-American corners of the site, where Jews tend to flourish.
Where is/How to?
A forum for any questions that might be asked by idiots in regards to the site, just as long as the question is vapid and facepalm-worthy. Here, one is at one's own discretion to whine about how one is too stupid to use the search function or how one can't beat the giant penis in Penis Attack 9. (HINT: "JACK THE PENIS OFF" IS ALWAYS A WITTY RESPONSE TO THIS QUESTION.)
The real reason that the Where is/How to forum exists is to serve as an ongoing Wadolf-appreciation discussion. Unfortunately, in his quasi-genocidal, abusive-father nature in relation to Jewgrounds, he is blind to the loving adoration from his underlings, and proceeds to slap them mercilessly across the face. He slaps them with words, of course, but it might as well be with his wife's face.
Because of his email inbox becoming inundated with appreciation-letters, Wade often flies off the handle, going batshit insane and forgetting to turn off the CAPS LOCK for another five posts in his blind and all-consuming rage. Of course, it wasn't until recently that it was discovered exactly why Wadolf has such anger issues, but now that the answer is publicly known, the puzzle pieces of the man's life have begun to fall into place, generating sympathy in the ranks of his fanclub.
Flash
If it wasn't for this forum, most of the fucktards on the site wouldn't know how to create the hilarious cartoons it thrives on. Most posts in this forum are about how to make a play button with actionscript.
Can U Use Photoshop...[-+]
However, it must be noted that the occasional "How Do I Make This Button Look Like A Veiny Penis That Happens To Be Black And Long" topic is always a welcome conversation starter.
Politics
The place for users with large postcounts to belittle people with smaller postcounts for having a differing opinion. Popular discussion topics range from "why Bush is a fucking idiot" all the way to "why people who think that Bush is a fucking idiot are fucking idiots".
This is where the persecuted Jewgrounds Jews tend to migrate when they're feeling a little hot under the collar.[-+]
In their haste to flee the General Forum's pitchforks and flames, they attempt to use their talent at gaining political office to their advantage in the Politics Forum. They find out quickly, however, that the violently Hetero personality of Politics Regular cellardoor6 - which includes a fanatical devotion to the cause of pro-Americanism - is offputting when compared with the Jews' own bitter resolve to destroy the country in which they made their fortunes, and thus these Jews must go into hiding in the even-less-frequented forums in order to both kvetch about their over 9000 relatives baleeted in the lolocaust, and plan their follow-up attack to 9/11.
Programming
In which the programmers of NG discuss how to use programming languages and use terms that n00bs can't understand. Because nobody on Jewgrounds understands these languages, that qualifies anyone who visits this forum as a n00b.
Use scrollbar to see the full image
Typical behavior. Remember that this topic was posted under programming.
Programming Help... A Lot!!![-+]
The official script kiddies' hangout. Nobody here actually knows how to program, but everyone likes to hold the fact that they can copy+paste already-written tidbits of code above each others' heads.
Nobody frequents this graveyard, so it serves as the perfect pseudo-ghetto for the Jews to map out which symbolic American monument they would prefer to blow up firstnext.
Clubs & Crews
Where the fucktards come after having their how do I made flash? posts answered in the Flash forum, to get together with other fucktards and form fucktard alliances, which enable them to make even shittier movies than they could on their own. Examples of "crews" created in this forum: the Naruto Club, the Virgin Club and the Jewgrounds ALLAHU AKBAR society.
Audio
This is by far the worst of the forums, where users post lyrics to songs (See LiveJournal).
Art
The Art Forum was created in September 2006 to gather all gay furry pictures or penicorn images ever drawn by Newgrounds members. It also enables 11-year olds to post their MS Paint devilspawn "art" and ask for "constructive criticism", later ignoring said criticism and flaming everyone who doesn't praise them intensely and give them Buttsecks. The few good artists, all of whom are Moderators, troll around and lock any thread that does not follow the RULES to the LETTER.
The Art forum of Newgrounds, in its phallus-fever, has entered what many consider a Renaissance[1] of Interwebs Art.
ART IS DEFINED AS...[-+]
A TRIO OF PENII EMERGING FROM THE ETHER!
Users who patrol this forum are generally brown-nosers and elitists who, while sucking anal mod secretions, also enjoy criticizing artworks with enlightening and insightful constructive criticism. [Fuck the Art Forum Comment Gallery!Browse the Art Forum Comment Gallery]
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WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? A VAGINA? YOU KNOW THAT ISN'T ALLOWED ON OUR FORUMS! FOR SHAME!
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I WISH WORDS COULD EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE THE INDIVIDUALISM AND THE ARTISTRY SO EVIDENTLY DISPLAYED BY EACH METICULOUSLY PENNED-OUT VEIN ON THE DICK.
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THIS PENIS HAS TOUCHED ME.
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THE PHALLIC ARTISTIC DEVICE IN THIS ARTWORK SEEMS TO BE A MICROCOSMIC REPRESENTATION OF THE LARGER STATE OF BEING EMBODIED BY HUMANKIND: JACK WITH ME AND I'M GONNA FUCKING SPRAY YOU WITH SHIT.
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I like how the veins on the shaft symbolize the act of coming and going of our society and ultimately describes the travels of people as they go about their lives.
The scrotum is smooth suggesting it symbolizes the Earth and that the act of penetration into a darkened space is a symbol for the future actions of our species exploring beyond the Earth and into the dark unknown that is space.
I must say this is probably one of the deepest pieces of artwork that I've seen in recent memory and it was a pleasure reviewing it.
A shameless attempt to make Newgrounds just like every other forum on the Internet. Inactive as fuck, and nobody cares since everybody on Newgrounds is too busy discussing Mario and Luigi'shomosexual relationship.
Sometimes, of course, the topic of conversation tends to stray to the ever-fresh console discussion / flamewar - which consists of a contest to determine who can most obnoxiously tout the virtues of his Piece of Shit 3, Wii, or X-Cawks 360 while simultaneously jacking off in front of his proverbial Mirror of e-Ego. But mostly, the Video Game Forum serves as a infinitely-looping rerun episode of the forumgoers' ultimate fantasy television series: Mario & Luigi - All That, and a Pail of Scat.