Randy Solem

Goodnight, muscular prince

What a hunk.

Randy's dick, the inevitable consequence of steroid abuse

A typical VGDC forum moderator.

Randy Solem (1975-2012) was a guy known for single-handedly ruining the Internets, video games, and the free will of mankind with his amount of talent (which can be summed up to the size of his penis). Randy was 36 years old and spends his entire day staying inside so people twenty years younger than him can tell him how much they loved "TEH P4RTt WEN Y0SI WUZ MAKIN DA FARTZzz LOoL!!1."

Randy's life

Randy Solem lived in New Jersey with his wheelchair-bound vegetable mother. He sat in his room and created Mario flash parodies while listening to Billy Joel CDs. Sometimes he forgets to change his mother's diapers, or even feed her. That's how dedicated Randy is to bringing us the best Mario fart jokes evar.

Randy's work

Randy was the master of taking Mario sprites, tweening them, and adding fart jokes. These amazing skills earned him the most diehard, pathetic fanbase in the history of the Internets. Randy also had the amazing ability of getting front page on Newgrounds for a week, no matter how bad his movie is. This is because every member of his forum is monitored, and if they vote less than 5 they are banned permanently. DON'T CALL HIM OUT ON HIS WORK THOUGH. He'll act like an Internet Tough Guy defending his work to attempt to make you sad. Then again, you won't have to worry about that anymore.

Fanbase

Randy led a proud army of 13 year old boys who adore him and will gladly lick the mud off of his boots, which he will then sell to them for 50 bucks. Saying anything negative about Randy on his forums will result in being banned 53 times simultaneously by 53 different users. Why do they love Randy so much if he's so ruthless? Simple: He made shitty references to video games that were made before they were born. These little fuckwits have never actually played any of these games, but they know everything about them since sprite movies are found everywhere on the entire fucking internet. Randy also got his fans to vote 0 on flashes he doesn't like.

The website

The website consists of a few dozen tweened sprite flashes. To view his website you must download obvious spyware "Zango" and "Hotbar" top gain access. It infests people's PCs with spyware, but it's OK with Randy because he gets cash monies for it. Here are Randy's bullshit excuses for it.

	“	"As the owner of videogamedc.com, I'd just like to say that in no way do I "force" anyone to download anything nor does my site install anything without a user knowing. All games or ads prompt/ask the user before they download anything. The user has to physically accept a download for it to be put onto their computer."	„

If you don't download anything the website sends you back to the previous page. So yeah, you are forced to download this shit if you want to view his site. THAT SHIT ALSO INSTALLS 10 EXES ON YOUR COMPUTER WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION!

	“	I'd also like to mention that using Mozilla Firefox eliminates these "problems".	„

No it doesn't. I have Mozilla Firefox, and I still have these problems, you god damn motherfucking lying greedy douchebag.

	“	I am also getting ready to launch a special Wii version of VGDC that is virtually ad free, except for one small banner. For a special preview of "VGDC on the Wii", go to www.videogamedc.com/Wii/wii.html. This simplified version of VGDC is being created specifically for the Wii's opera browser. It is a work in progress and this may or may not be what the final layout may look like. I don't recommend viewing it on a PC, since it is being optimized for a standard television's resolution. "VGDC on the Wii" will let viewers watch VGDC's most popular movies with ease on their television set, from the comfort of their couch.	„

Are you really advertising your website features on siteadvisor.com? Do you have no shame at ALL? Oh yay we get to see Mario farting in standard television resolution, BIG FUCKING WHOOP.

You also have the opportunity to pay Randy money to advertise your website on his! Too bad nobody is going to see it without being forced to download bullshit. Randy will also offer to put your shitty flash movies on his website, because after all it'll get him money off of your work.

The forums

The VGDC Forums is where all 13 year old boys on the Internets come from. They always talk in 1337 speak and begin and end every sentence with LOL. When he first released his VGDC store he spammed his own forums with endless amounts of topics demanding people to buy every last item for sale.

The pictures

After a fan of his sent him an email by mistake, this was his response.

The quotes

	“	I can post on the front page and you can't! I can post on the front page and you can't! I can post on the front page and you can't! I can post on the front page and you can't! I can post on the front page and you can't! I hold the record for most #1 portals of the day! I hold the record for most #1 portals of the day! I hold the record for most #1 portals of the day! I hold the record for most #1 portals of the day! I hold the record for most #1 portals of the day! I just wasted a minute of your pathetic life since you just read all this! Now your life is going to be shorter because I'm still coming to kill you.[1]	„

	“	He's just pissed because I took his stupid ass Mario Party off my site, which was basically a piss-poor, ugly as my balls, ripoff of my Mario Scene Creator.[2]	„

	“	I always finish my movies, and yes, I hold the record for #1 portal entries of the day...15. So ssssssssuuuuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkkk my cock. Yeeee haw!	„

	“	saying I cheated implies jealousy..and stealing? How did you pull off Mario Barge without stealing sprites? And better reviews???? I ain't bragging but I don't see your movie anywhere here.....	„

	“	By the way did you click on my pop up? For a bunch of 15 yr. olds they sure supply me for my Russel Crowe beer binges with the extra $$$ each month.	„

	“	Fuck you, your controllers, your dog your fucking posts, and most of all, YOUR FUCKING SHITTY ASS CONTROLLERS. MOTHER FUCKER. IF I EVER SEE YOUR BULLSHIT ADVERTISING HERE AGAIN I WILL FIND YOU AND STRANGLE YOU WITH THE CORD OF YOUR SHIT CONTROLLERS	„

The approved Randy Solem ED page

Randy Solem came to this very article and started "fixing it up" to his likeness, since it's kinda tough for him to live knowing that people know the truth of what he does.

Death

On March 16, 2012, God saw what naught Randy had brought to the word and smited him for his faggotry. Randy died without warning at the age of 36. More than likely all those years of steroids took a toll on his heart which was more used to staying at home making his shitty flash movies.

Randy leaves behind his video game collection, a copy of Flash MX and three seasons worth of Jersey Shore on DVD which will be sold at his family's estate sale.

Goodnight Sweet Prince.

Links

• Documentary on the Life of Randy Solem
• McAfee's SiteAdvisor on videogamedc.org "McAfee TrustedSource web reputation analysis found potential security risks with this site. Use with extreme caution."
• VGDC's Web of Trust Reputation Scorecard
• Randy's Obituary
• Thread on Newgrounds about his demise.
• Raymond "Randy" Solem at FAG