Seanbaby

Seanbaby seen punching someone in the throat who didn't laugh at his fifteenth review of a low-budget kid's game

Seanbaby cheering on a homoerotic Nintendo game

Seanbaby and Mr.T pose with the fists they will later be shoving up each others cornholes.

Seanbaby demonstrating how to give a terrible handjob

Seanbaby is a B-rated internet celebrity. Seanbaby is like a clone of Maddox merged with a Mountain Dew commercial. Both have a semi-funny website, both sites haven't been updated in forever, both have recently tried to break into legitimate writing, and both have faggy haircuts. More importantly than his haircut is his nigger girl friend, whom he captured from his initial landing point in Africa.

Background

Seanbaby, a well-known internet celebrity is one of several Moonchildren who crashed on earth 13 years ago after their cryogenic pods were released by the Moonwomb in the hopes that someday her offspring would carry on the family line on other planets.

After morphing into his humanoid form, which unfortunately still carries alien characteristics such as multicolored hair (which is very anti-establishment) and elongated and permanently extended middle fingers, Seanbaby did what all extra-terrestrials do first to blend in with human society: set up a website.

Sadly, Seanbaby's website has gone without update for years. We can only assume he has flown back to the Moon as his Moonmother's chosen incestual-by-necessity re-mate; or he died after being hit by a water balloon, which really does work on aliens, because Jhonen Vasquez said so.

He was a writer for a bay area magazine called The Wave for a few years.

Seanbaby has also been spotted on 1up's Broken Pixels show, where he sits on a couch with two other guys and has hot mansex while playing shitty videogames.

As of 2009, Seanbaby is writing for Cracked.com. He's still repeating the same old tired unfunny crap that he's been putting out for his entire internets career.

The Website

Seanbaby's site basically consists of five sections: Stupid scenes from comic books; reviews of old, shitty video games; some shit about Hostess pies; Colonel Artemis's Ragtime Revue; and Fat Chicks in Party Hats.

Primarily, his site contains massive edgy articles on why people aren't smart like him, government bullshit politician like ramblings on why you should ban warning labels, and contains massive insufferable douchebag amounts of teenage level dicksucking american patriotism and jock fratboy parading superiority he picked after migrating to a small town in Idaho.

Fun Fact: He did spend time in a frat. We don't know how many dildos he had to stick up his ass or how many people died from alcohol overdose, but it's highly likely it happened. He also had a run in with the Secret Service and had to do tests on having centipedes in advanced transplanted vaginas with the CIA.

There's also lots of ads for pr0n and Suicide Girls.

EGM

At least 100 issues ago, when Electronic Gaming Monthly did another one of those stupid "100 greatest games" lists, they had Seanbaby write a "20 worst video games" column. Amazingly, Seanbaby managed to buck the trend of his website and deliver teh lulz, leading the editors of EGM to offer Seanbaby a job reviewing shitty games. This was funny as well, the first couple of times. Unfortunately, they can all be reduced to a Mad-Lib:

[Game] is a piece of shit. Seriously, [game maker] should kill themselves for making this game. I would rather [humorous hyperbole involving bodily injury] than play [game]. If I ever find the head of [game maker], I will force him to listen to [shitty new wave band] for [period of time], then [second humorous hyperbole involving bodily injury]. Phil Collins.

He also enjoys taking pictures of himself feeling up booth babes at E3 and flipping off the camera, which is radical, dude!

See also

• Video Game Reviewers
• Unfunny
• Attention whore
• Jasonrivera.com
• Cracked
• Fat Chicks in Party Hats
• Centipede-filled vagina

External Links

• Seanbaby.com — which may or may not be down at any given moment, for maintenance.

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