- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Hutchence's Syndrome: Difference between revisions
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
imported>Hipcrime moved missing image to talkpage |
imported>ElSegCunt No edit summary |
||
| (3 intermediate revisions by one other user not shown) | |||
| Line 3: | Line 3: | ||
[[Image:Inxs1.jpg|thumb|175px|Michael Hutchence's grave marker. Note the serene quality on his face.]] | [[Image:Inxs1.jpg|thumb|175px|Michael Hutchence's grave marker. Note the serene quality on his face.]] | ||
[[Image:Inxs3.jpg|thumb|175px|This is the door to the hotel room where Hutchence offed himself.]] | [[Image:Inxs3.jpg|thumb|175px|This is the door to the hotel room where Hutchence offed himself.]] | ||
'''Hutchence’s Syndrome''' (aka: Autoerrotadinism, Kung-Fu disease, German Belt Love, Noose Love, Deathrace 2000, and Scarfing) is a rare disease that effects only the very rich and famous. Named after Australian singer [http://www.findadeath.com/Deceased/h/Hutchence/MIchael%20Hutchence.html Michael Hutchence,] this disease causes airflow to be cut off from the victim’s lungs via a ligature or similar device cutting off or crushing the trachea resulting in an untimely and often embarrassing death. The most recent person to incur this disease is [[David Carradine]]. | '''Hutchence’s Syndrome''' (aka: Autoerrotadinism, Kung-Fu disease, German Belt Love, Noose Love, Deathrace 2000, and Scarfing) is a rare disease that effects only the very rich and famous. Named after Australian singer [http://www.findadeath.com/Deceased/h/Hutchence/MIchael%20Hutchence.html Michael Hutchence,] this disease causes airflow to be cut off from the victim’s lungs via a ligature or similar device cutting off or crushing the trachea resulting in an untimely and often embarrassing death. The most recent person to incur this disease is <s>[[David Carradine]]</s> [https://www.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/article216585445.html this faggot]. | ||
==Symptoms== | ==Symptoms== | ||
| Line 9: | Line 9: | ||
[[Image:Kurt Cobain Nirvana Shotgun.jpg|thumb|175px|NOT DOING IT RIGHT...]] | [[Image:Kurt Cobain Nirvana Shotgun.jpg|thumb|175px|NOT DOING IT RIGHT...]] | ||
[[Image:Hanging by ur ballz.jpg|thumb|175px|STILL DOING IT WRONG!]] | [[Image:Hanging by ur ballz.jpg|thumb|175px|STILL DOING IT WRONG!]] | ||
When the victim succumbs to Hutchence’s Syndrome, there is little or no treatment involved. The best thing a person can do is cover up or dress the naked body, pay off any hotel personnel that might have witnessed the death, and pray to God that no paparazzi happen to be in the neighborhood. Even still, clinical technicians have noted several common traits in people who have died of this disease: | When the victim succumbs to Hutchence’s Syndrome, there is little or no treatment involved. The best thing a person can do is cover up or dress the naked body, pay off any hotel personnel that might have witnessed the death, and pray to [[Cthulhu|God]] that no paparazzi happen to be in the neighborhood. Even still, clinical technicians have noted several common traits in people who have died of this disease: | ||
*They are butt naked | *They are [[Awwwright|butt naked]]. | ||
*They are usually found hanging from bathroom doors in hotel rooms. | *They are usually found hanging from bathroom doors in hotel rooms. | ||
*Lots of blow is found on the scene…however it is speculated that if hookers were present, upon viewing the scene, they bailed out and | *Lots of blow is found on the scene…however it is speculated that if hookers were present, upon viewing the scene, they bailed out after they grabbed the dead cunt's wallet and valuables. | ||
==Prevention== | ==Prevention== | ||
| Line 23: | Line 23: | ||
{{quote|I don't know what impressed me the most. That he was still sexually active at 72, or that he had had so much pussy that the only way he'd get off is to hang himself.|Teacher, from the television series "Kung Fu"}} | {{quote|I don't know what impressed me the most. That he was still sexually active at 72, or that he had had so much pussy that the only way he'd get off is to hang himself.|Teacher, from the television series "Kung Fu"}} | ||
While there is no known treatment for hanging oneself while jacking off in a closet, there are literally millions of ways to prevent Hutchence's | While there is no known treatment for hanging oneself while jacking off in a closet, there are literally millions of ways to prevent Hutchence's Syndrome. Several of them involve not tying a cord around your neck when you are horny while high, drunk, or semi-conscious; however there are other precautions that are just as easy to follow. Some of these include: | ||
* Jack off like a normal person. | * Jack off like a normal person. | ||
| Line 29: | Line 29: | ||
* Only wear shoes that have Velcro ties. | * Only wear shoes that have Velcro ties. | ||
* When performing your feat of masturbation, pay off somebody to hang around and make sure you are okay. Seriously, Michael Hutchence had 20 million dollars on the day of his death, you figure he could have paid for 30 Thai hookers to make sure he didn't off himself. | * When performing your feat of masturbation, pay off somebody to hang around and [[Pics or it didn't happen|make sure you are okay]]. Seriously, Michael Hutchence had 20 million dollars on the day of his death, you figure he could have paid for 30 Thai hookers to make sure he didn't off himself. | ||
==Quotes== | ==Quotes== | ||
Latest revision as of 21:04, 20 January 2019
Hutchence’s Syndrome (aka: Autoerrotadinism, Kung-Fu disease, German Belt Love, Noose Love, Deathrace 2000, and Scarfing) is a rare disease that effects only the very rich and famous. Named after Australian singer Michael Hutchence, this disease causes airflow to be cut off from the victim’s lungs via a ligature or similar device cutting off or crushing the trachea resulting in an untimely and often embarrassing death. The most recent person to incur this disease is David Carradine this faggot.
Symptoms
When the victim succumbs to Hutchence’s Syndrome, there is little or no treatment involved. The best thing a person can do is cover up or dress the naked body, pay off any hotel personnel that might have witnessed the death, and pray to God that no paparazzi happen to be in the neighborhood. Even still, clinical technicians have noted several common traits in people who have died of this disease:
- They are butt naked.
- They are usually found hanging from bathroom doors in hotel rooms.
- Lots of blow is found on the scene…however it is speculated that if hookers were present, upon viewing the scene, they bailed out after they grabbed the dead cunt's wallet and valuables.
Prevention
—Teacher, from the television series "Kung Fu" | ||
While there is no known treatment for hanging oneself while jacking off in a closet, there are literally millions of ways to prevent Hutchence's Syndrome. Several of them involve not tying a cord around your neck when you are horny while high, drunk, or semi-conscious; however there are other precautions that are just as easy to follow. Some of these include:
- Jack off like a normal person.
- Only wear shoes that have Velcro ties.
- When performing your feat of masturbation, pay off somebody to hang around and make sure you are okay. Seriously, Michael Hutchence had 20 million dollars on the day of his death, you figure he could have paid for 30 Thai hookers to make sure he didn't off himself.
Quotes
—Zaiger, noted specialist. | ||
—Bangkok police officer Teerapop Luanseng | ||
—Poor cleaners... | ||
—An expert in shaolin masturbatory procedure. | ||
—Yet another expert weighs in. | ||
—LOL jokes! | ||
—Rimshot! | ||
—Hey, I told him the risks. | ||
—Unexperienced? That's UNPOSSIBLE!!! | ||
Video
This guy was neither a rock star nor was he a successful actor in several Kung-fu films.
See Also
Interesting Links
- Story about Kill Bill
- Moar Kill Bill
- Grasshopper bites the dust.
- Hutchence's Syndrome information.
- What happened to Michael Hutchence?
|
Hutchence's Syndrome is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |
[Open Up to Us]
Hutchence's Syndrome is part of a series on Psychology
