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[[File:IPad Kid.jpg|thumb|What a funny way to parent your child!]]
[[File:IPad Kid.jpg|thumb|What a funny way to parent your child!]]
[[File:Boy kid pretending as an E girl on Tiktok live and dancing yahitchi arigato.mp4|thumb|A typical Generation Alpha child.]]


'''Generation Alpha''' (or the '''iPad kids''') are the next generation of brain-dead newfags birthed between the years 2013—2025. Following the eventual death of the [[Gen Z]] age, Alpha was spawned. Caused by years of irresponsible parenting, Gen Alpha are known to have an extremely retarded sense of fine-motor skills and are unable to understand their environment, rarely agreeing with the outside world unless it was proven true by [[TikTok|social media]] apps.
'''Generation Alpha''' (or '''iPad kids''') is a generation of brain-dead newfags birthed between the years 2013 and 2025. Following the eventual death of the [[Gen Z]] age, Gen Alpha was spawned. Caused by years of irresponsible parenting, members of Gen Alpha are known to have an extremely retarded sense of fine motor skills and are unable to understand their environment, rarely agreeing with the outside world unless it was proven true by [[TikTok|social media]] apps. The prime years of Gen Alpha will start between 2038 and 2049, making them more noticeable than Gen Z in the future. Zalphas (born from 2006 to 2015) will have the prime years of both Gen Z and Gen Alpha. They will probably make Skibidi Toilet shit during wars instead of tanks and be CEOs of retarded brainrot-related corporations.
 
Unfortunately, many of these individuals have reached the age of inhabiting 5th and 6th grades (oldest of the bunch are now {{age|2013|0|0}}-years old...) But, in the time they are not at education, it is essential for them to cozy on in and play [[Roblox]] first-person shooters, [[YouTube#Gay Content|YouTube  Kids]] Cocomelon and [[Skibidi Toilet]] on their rat infested iPad screens, all the while their own parents occupy themselves with devices.
 
 
And as for the Gen Betas – they haven't been born yet. Though they're on the horizon. God only knows what their humour will be. For now (as of november 30, 2024), they are a bunch of sperm cells until 2025/27.


Unfortunately, many of these individuals have reached the age of inhabiting the {{age|2019|1|1}}th and {{age|2018|1|1}}th grades (the oldest of the bunch are now {{age|2013|1|1}} years old) But when they're not at school, it is essential for them to cozy on in, play [[Roblox]] first-person shooters, and watch [[YouTube#Gay Content|YouTube Kids]], Cocomelon, and [[Skibidi Toilet]] on their bacteria-infested iPad screens, all while their own parents occupy themselves with devices.


And as for Gen Beta – they just started being born. God only knows what their humor will be like.


==Faggotry==
==Faggotry==
They seem to be the faggier younger siblings of younger [[Zoomer]]s. The Generation Alpha influencers are mainly retarded toy channels made by their parents. However, as the oldest Gen Alphas start becoming [[13-year-old boys|teenagers]] around 2025-2026, that might change and a new era of JewTube (and/or ShitTok) might begin.
They seem to be the faggier younger siblings of younger [[zoomers]]. The Generation Alpha influencers are mainly retarded toy channels made by their parents. However, as [[2013|the oldest Gen Alphas]] start becoming [[teenagers]] around 2026, that might change and a new era of JewTube and/or ShitTok might begin.


==Education==
==Education==
As [[hell|schools]] become more retarded, the generation becomes more retarded as well. With the increasing trend of addiction to technology and especially iPads, some kids don't know how to read or write by the time they're a teenager.  
As [[school]]s become more retarded, this generation becomes more retarded as well. With the increasing trend of addiction to technology (especially iPads), some kids don't even know how to read or write by the time they're a teenager.  


==Notable members of Gen Alpha==
==Notable members of Gen Alpha==
*People in elementary school
*People in elementary/middle school
*Half of the Skibidifags
*The Rizzler
*Half of the [[Sigma Boy]] Russians (1 is late Gen Z, 1 was born in 2013)
*Half of the Costco Guys (1 is Gen X, 1 is his son who was also born in 2013)
And others that [[Shit nobody cares about|nobody gives a shit about]].
And others that [[Shit nobody cares about|nobody gives a shit about]].


==See also==
==See Also==
*[[Sandy Hook]] - The proper way to deal with Gen Alpha kids.
*[[Uvalde School Shooting]] - The proper way to deal with Gen Alpha kids.
*[[Children]] - who all Gen Alphas are as of 2024.
*[[Children]] - Who all Gen Alphas are as of {{CURRENTYEAR}}.
*[[Gen Z]] - their older siblings, sometimes parents.
*[[Gen Z]] - Their older siblings, sometimes parents.
*[[Millennials]] - their parents.
*[[Millennials]] - Their parents.
*[[Gen X]] - sometimes their parents.
*[[Gen X]] - Sometimes their parents.
*[[Baby Boomers]] - they're also parents!
*[[Baby Boomers]] - Their grandparents.


{{Social Media}}
{{Generations}}
{{Generations}}
[[Category:Stub]]
[[Category:TikTok]]
[[Category:Generations]]

Latest revision as of 12:27, 14 July 2025

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What a funny way to parent your child!
A typical Generation Alpha child.

Generation Alpha (or iPad kids) is a generation of brain-dead newfags birthed between the years 2013 and 2025. Following the eventual death of the Gen Z age, Gen Alpha was spawned. Caused by years of irresponsible parenting, members of Gen Alpha are known to have an extremely retarded sense of fine motor skills and are unable to understand their environment, rarely agreeing with the outside world unless it was proven true by social media apps. The prime years of Gen Alpha will start between 2038 and 2049, making them more noticeable than Gen Z in the future. Zalphas (born from 2006 to 2015) will have the prime years of both Gen Z and Gen Alpha. They will probably make Skibidi Toilet shit during wars instead of tanks and be CEOs of retarded brainrot-related corporations.

Unfortunately, many of these individuals have reached the age of inhabiting the 6th and 7th grades (the oldest of the bunch are now 12 years old) But when they're not at school, it is essential for them to cozy on in, play Roblox first-person shooters, and watch YouTube Kids, Cocomelon, and Skibidi Toilet on their bacteria-infested iPad screens, all while their own parents occupy themselves with devices.

And as for Gen Beta – they just started being born. God only knows what their humor will be like.

Faggotry

They seem to be the faggier younger siblings of younger zoomers. The Generation Alpha influencers are mainly retarded toy channels made by their parents. However, as the oldest Gen Alphas start becoming teenagers around 2026, that might change and a new era of JewTube and/or ShitTok might begin.

Education

As schools become more retarded, this generation becomes more retarded as well. With the increasing trend of addiction to technology (especially iPads), some kids don't even know how to read or write by the time they're a teenager.

Notable members of Gen Alpha

  • People in elementary/middle school
  • Half of the Skibidifags
  • The Rizzler
  • Half of the Sigma Boy Russians (1 is late Gen Z, 1 was born in 2013)
  • Half of the Costco Guys (1 is Gen X, 1 is his son who was also born in 2013)

And others that nobody gives a shit about.

See Also

Generation Alpha is part of a series on

Social Media

Visit the Social Media Portal for complete coverage.

Generation Alpha is part of a series on Generations.