- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Kelly Clarkson: Difference between revisions
imported>Lolyunohavgudsoftware No edit summary |
imported>ElSegCunt No edit summary |
||
| (4 intermediate revisions by one other user not shown) | |||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
[[File:FattyClarkson.jpg|thumb|[[Hambeast|Not kosher]].]] | |||
Kelly Clarkson is a has been hack [[ | |||
'''Kelly Clarkson''' is a has-been hack [[Whore|singer/songwriter]] and winner of the first season of [[American Idol]]. She is a talentless cunt and the beneficiary of the [[Cheat|heavily fixed]] and entirely perfunctory pop culture [[Holocaust|furnace]], and so exhibits the entitlement fitting only someone who cured cancer and [[G.R.I.D.S.]] in the same week, all while rolling balls on shrooms and [[Hunter_S._Thompson|adrenochrome]]. | |||
=="Discovery"== | =="Discovery"== | ||
After working the typical shit jobs aspiring singers do in Hollywood, a young upstart named Kelly Clarkson finally | After working the typical shit jobs aspiring singers do in Hollywood, a young [[Skeezer|upstart]] named Kelly Clarkson finally made it big, scoring a twelve song premiere with accomplished [[Jews|songwriters]] Gerry Goffin, Barry Goldberg, and Michael Blum. Curiously, she [[Flounced|walked out]] in March 2002 without explanation. Three months after [[DELETE_FUCKING_EVERYTHING|terminating her contract]] with the recording studio, she was chosen to participate in the first season of American Idol. This was in direct contravention to the rules of American Idol, which clearly stated [[shit_no_one_cares_about|that no person who has entered into a recording contract is eligible]]. Fox, which made shittons off of the show, said [[Dindu nuffin|no rules were broken]], proving once again they are a pack of lying, money-grubbing Jews. | ||
==Career== | ==Career== | ||
Kelly showed remarkable maturity as an artist as she constantly [[cry_more|threw temper tantrums]] every time she was asked to sing anything remotely salable. Her number one platinum hit “Since U Been Gone” is entirely the result of her bisexual Jew manager shoving his hand up her syphilitic asshole and working her gaping mouth like a puppet. Should you wish to perform this act yourself, approach a prostitute and ask for the “Jim Henson”, it'll set you back about $150. Clarkson has disputed her crybaby antics, but as her manager is responsible for tens of superstar acts, and Clarkson is responsible for none, she is full of shit. | Kelly showed remarkable maturity as an artist as she constantly [[cry_more|threw temper tantrums]] every time she was asked to sing anything remotely salable. Her number one platinum hit “Since U Been Gone” is entirely the result of her [[bisexual]] Jew manager shoving his hand up her syphilitic asshole and working her gaping mouth like a puppet. Should you wish to perform this act yourself, approach a prostitute and ask for the “Jim Henson”, it'll set you back about $150. Clarkson has disputed her crybaby antics, but as her manager is responsible for tens of superstar acts, and Clarkson is responsible for none, as she is full of shit. | ||
==Talent== | ==Talent== | ||
[[File:tumbleweed.gif]] | |||
==Theft== | ==Theft== | ||
In 2007, Kelly decided to do a cover of Beyonce's “Halo” entitled 'Already Gone', but with all the [[Fellatio|work]] she was putting into her new record, she forgot to mention that it was basically a note-for-note ripoff. Naturally, she was mortified at the misunderstanding, and proceeded to throw temper tantrum after temper tantrum to keep the song on the record, without attribution. | In 2007, Kelly decided to do a cover of Beyonce's “Halo” entitled 'Already Gone', but with all the [[Fellatio|work]] she was putting into her new record, she forgot to mention that it was basically a note-for-note ripoff. Naturally, she was mortified at the misunderstanding, and proceeded to throw temper tantrum after temper tantrum to keep the song on the record, without attribution. | ||
==Twitter== | ==Twitter== | ||
Some lackey of Clarkson's has set up a transparently babysat [[twitter]] in her name, with every third tweet referring to Clarkson in the third person, with the other two exposing her for the utterly vacuous and profoundly childish sub-human she is. | Some [[Slave|lackey]] of Clarkson's has set up a transparently babysat [[twitter]] in her name, with every third tweet [[USI|referring to Clarkson in the third person]], with the other two exposing her for the utterly vacuous and profoundly childish sub-human she is. | ||
<center>{{morphquote|2012quote2|background-color:white;|font-weight:bold; | <center>{{morphquote|2012quote2|background-color:white;|font-weight:bold; | ||
| Line 33: | Line 33: | ||
==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
* [[Fat]] | |||
* [[American Idol]] | * [[American Idol]] | ||
* [[Kesha]] | |||
{{Music}} | {{Music}} | ||
Latest revision as of 12:47, 26 January 2019
Kelly Clarkson is a has-been hack singer/songwriter and winner of the first season of American Idol. She is a talentless cunt and the beneficiary of the heavily fixed and entirely perfunctory pop culture furnace, and so exhibits the entitlement fitting only someone who cured cancer and G.R.I.D.S. in the same week, all while rolling balls on shrooms and adrenochrome.
"Discovery"
After working the typical shit jobs aspiring singers do in Hollywood, a young upstart named Kelly Clarkson finally made it big, scoring a twelve song premiere with accomplished songwriters Gerry Goffin, Barry Goldberg, and Michael Blum. Curiously, she walked out in March 2002 without explanation. Three months after terminating her contract with the recording studio, she was chosen to participate in the first season of American Idol. This was in direct contravention to the rules of American Idol, which clearly stated that no person who has entered into a recording contract is eligible. Fox, which made shittons off of the show, said no rules were broken, proving once again they are a pack of lying, money-grubbing Jews.
Career
Kelly showed remarkable maturity as an artist as she constantly threw temper tantrums every time she was asked to sing anything remotely salable. Her number one platinum hit “Since U Been Gone” is entirely the result of her bisexual Jew manager shoving his hand up her syphilitic asshole and working her gaping mouth like a puppet. Should you wish to perform this act yourself, approach a prostitute and ask for the “Jim Henson”, it'll set you back about $150. Clarkson has disputed her crybaby antics, but as her manager is responsible for tens of superstar acts, and Clarkson is responsible for none, as she is full of shit.
Talent
Theft
In 2007, Kelly decided to do a cover of Beyonce's “Halo” entitled 'Already Gone', but with all the work she was putting into her new record, she forgot to mention that it was basically a note-for-note ripoff. Naturally, she was mortified at the misunderstanding, and proceeded to throw temper tantrum after temper tantrum to keep the song on the record, without attribution.
Some lackey of Clarkson's has set up a transparently babysat twitter in her name, with every third tweet referring to Clarkson in the third person, with the other two exposing her for the utterly vacuous and profoundly childish sub-human she is.
Previous Quote | Next Quote
See Also
|
Kelly Clarkson is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |