- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Uri Geller: Difference between revisions
imported>Mr Jonzz →Related Articles: external link to official site / Category:Jews Category:Abnormal Psych Category:IRL Shit |
imported>Sidecar |
||
| (One intermediate revision by one other user not shown) | |||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
[[Image:Gellerjackson.jpg|thumb|right|Uri Geller at his wedding with [[Michael Jackson]], his third wife.]] | [[Image:Gellerjackson.jpg|thumb|right|Uri Geller at his wedding with [[Michael Jackson]], his third wife.]] | ||
[[Image:Venomfangxgetscalledbyhisparents.png|thumb|right|His [[VenomFangX|son]].]] | [[Image:Venomfangxgetscalledbyhisparents.png|thumb|right|His [[VenomFangX|son]].]] | ||
'''Uri Geller'''Jew is a has-been "[[psychic]]" with [[unlimited disposable income|unlimited amounts]] of [[unwarranted self-importance]], whose only current form of amassing [[Jew gold]]s is through his ridiculous lawsuits. He also is at war with [[YouTube]] (and any other form of communication through which people can express disbelief in his [[magick|OMG REAL PSYCHIC ABILITIES]]). Based on his track record, it is only a matter of time before he [[internet lawsuit|sues]] [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] for even mentioning him. | '''Uri Geller''' {{Jew}} is a has-been "[[psychic]]" with [[unlimited disposable income|unlimited amounts]] of [[unwarranted self-importance]], whose only current form of amassing [[Jew gold]]s is through his ridiculous lawsuits. He also is at war with [[YouTube]] (and any other form of communication through which people can express disbelief in his [[magick|OMG REAL PSYCHIC ABILITIES]]). Based on his track record, it is only a matter of time before he [[internet lawsuit|sues]] [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] for even mentioning him. | ||
In reality, Uri Geller is a failed Israeli nightclub magician who decided to scam [[mouth breathers|the American public]] with a [http://www.murphysmagicsupplies.com/catalog/dvd/html/psi_series.html tiny repertoire of outdated mentalist tricks] by claiming he actually has these powers [[IRL]]. Like any D-List [[celebrity]], he is addicted to being an [[attention whore]] and must constantly boost his own ego by demonstrating these tricks every chance he gets in order to get a hit off your amazement that people are still impressed by poorly executed sleight of hand tricks (except when he knows magicians or skeptics are [[lurking|around]] in which case he will claim [[It was a social experiment|not to be able to do these OMG REAL PSYCHIC ABILITIES on command]]). | In reality, Uri Geller is a failed Israeli nightclub magician who decided to scam [[mouth breathers|the American public]] with a [http://www.murphysmagicsupplies.com/catalog/dvd/html/psi_series.html tiny repertoire of outdated mentalist tricks] by claiming he actually has these powers [[IRL]]. Like any D-List [[celebrity]], he is addicted to being an [[attention whore]] and must constantly boost his own ego by demonstrating these tricks every chance he gets in order to get a hit off your amazement that people are still impressed by poorly executed sleight of hand tricks (except when he knows magicians or skeptics are [[lurking|around]] in which case he will claim [[It was a social experiment|not to be able to do these OMG REAL PSYCHIC ABILITIES on command]]). | ||
| Line 12: | Line 11: | ||
==Lawsuits== | ==Lawsuits== | ||
[[Image:Kadabra34.jpg|thumb|right|A horrible Nazi Kadabra raping a poor little [[Abra]] [[furry]] with his spoon.]] | [[Image:Kadabra34.jpg|thumb|right|A horrible Nazi Kadabra raping a poor little [[Abra]] [[furry]] with his spoon.]] | ||
[[Image:Bendinurspoon.jpg|thumb|right|Critics attack Geller with [[lolcats]].]] | |||
Uri Geller has copyrighted psychic powers in general, [[Matrix|bending spoons with the mind]], bending anything by any means, ordinary spoons, the name Uri Geller, and anything sounding vaguely similar to Uri or Geller in any language. He will sue anyone who violates these copyrights, without hesitation. | Uri Geller has copyrighted psychic powers in general, [[Matrix|bending spoons with the mind]], bending anything by any means, ordinary spoons, the name Uri Geller, and anything sounding vaguely similar to Uri or Geller in any language. He will sue anyone who violates these copyrights, without hesitation. | ||
| Line 23: | Line 23: | ||
==YouTube== | ==YouTube== | ||
Uri Geller also has a record of suing people who try to reveal he's not a real psychic. He's even gotten videos pulled from YouTube, despite this being a misuse of [[DMCA]]. He merely appears in the videos; the YouTube videos themselves are ripping off unrelated parties. Geller's attempts to remove videos that he does not own are actually copyright violations on his part (lol, [[irony]]). It is also an affront to free speech, blah blah blah, other [[serious business]]. With this new ammunition against Geller, [[Rational Response Squad|militant disbelievers]] will finally succeed in having this fraud [[unrealistic expectations|drawn and quartered once and for all]]. | Uri Geller also has a record of suing people who try to reveal he's not a real psychic. He's even gotten videos pulled from YouTube, despite this being a misuse of [[DMCA]]. He merely appears in the videos; the YouTube videos themselves are ripping off unrelated parties. Geller's attempts to remove videos that he does not own are actually copyright violations on his part (lol, [[irony]]). It is also an affront to free speech, blah blah blah, other [[serious business]]. With this new ammunition against Geller, [[Rational Response Squad|militant disbelievers]] will finally succeed in having this fraud [[unrealistic expectations|drawn and quartered once and for all]]. | ||
<big>'''[[House]] demonstrating [[Truth|how Uri Geller actually bends spoons]]'''</big> | {{clear}} | ||
<center><youtube>qUxWdIQVT_c</youtube><br> | |||
<big>'''[[House]] demonstrating [[Truth|how Uri Geller actually bends spoons]]'''</big></center> | |||
<big>'''[[Epic Fail]] on the Tonight Show'''</big> | <center><youtube>TNKmhv9uoiQ</youtube><br> | ||
<big>'''[[Epic Fail]] on the Tonight Show'''</big></center> | |||
<big>'''Uri Geller rambling = [[gullible|OMG HE HAS REAL PSYCHIC ABILITIES!!!oneoneoneone111]]'''</big> | <center><youtube>xIhSBMzPjrc</youtube><br> | ||
<big>'''Uri Geller rambling = [[gullible|OMG HE HAS REAL PSYCHIC ABILITIES!!!oneoneoneone111]]'''</big></center> | |||
==Reality TV Show== | ==Reality TV Show== | ||
| Line 45: | Line 47: | ||
==Related Articles== | ==Related Articles== | ||
*[[James Randi]] | *[[Madeleine McCann#Portupaedos?|Freud, Sir Clement]] - Geller's BFF, [http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2001/08/murdoch-200108former business partner in a gold-dowsing scam,] [http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Sir+Clement+Freud%3A+Good+horses+deserve+good+names,+so+Santo+Subito...-a0134503853 co-owner with Geller of a thoroughbred racehorse,] and a paedo | ||
*[[Michael Jackson|Jackson, Michael]] - another of Geller's BFFs and a paedo | |||
*[[Greville Janner|Janner, Greville (Lord)]] - yet another BFF and a paedo | |||
*[[Israel|Jewland]] - ancestral homeland | |||
*[[Psychic|Telekinesis]] - Geller's +1 skill | |||
*[[James Randi|Randi, James ("The Amusing -")]] - arch-foe (and a bit of a paedo, although the transcripts have been scrubbed from the web) | |||
*[[Scam]] - see: [[Psychic]] | |||
*[[UFO|Space Aliens]] - Geller originally claimed to have been given his power by such beings, but later STFU about it | |||
*[[Yuri]] | *[[Yuri]] | ||
Latest revision as of 17:21, 11 December 2016
Uri Geller ✡ is a has-been "psychic" with unlimited amounts of unwarranted self-importance, whose only current form of amassing Jew golds is through his ridiculous lawsuits. He also is at war with YouTube (and any other form of communication through which people can express disbelief in his OMG REAL PSYCHIC ABILITIES). Based on his track record, it is only a matter of time before he sues Encyclopedia Dramatica for even mentioning him.
In reality, Uri Geller is a failed Israeli nightclub magician who decided to scam the American public with a tiny repertoire of outdated mentalist tricks by claiming he actually has these powers IRL. Like any D-List celebrity, he is addicted to being an attention whore and must constantly boost his own ego by demonstrating these tricks every chance he gets in order to get a hit off your amazement that people are still impressed by poorly executed sleight of hand tricks (except when he knows magicians or skeptics are around in which case he will claim not to be able to do these OMG REAL PSYCHIC ABILITIES on command).
His Powers
Uri Geller's story is that, when he was a wee little Jew in Israel, he encountered a strange glowing orb in his family's garden. After that, all the silverware in the house bent at his touch (once he did a little prep work offstage). Geller also claims to be able to stop time, see through clothes, and divide by zero.
Lawsuits
Uri Geller has copyrighted psychic powers in general, bending spoons with the mind, bending anything by any means, ordinary spoons, the name Uri Geller, and anything sounding vaguely similar to Uri or Geller in any language. He will sue anyone who violates these copyrights, without hesitation.
Geller tried to sue Nintendo, claiming that the psychic Pokémon Kadabra is based on his likeness. He first become aware of this infringement while visiting Japan. A bunch of kids purportedly mobbed him, asking him to autograph their Pokémon cards (because Japanese kids know this guy on sight and totally want his autograph). Geller questioned some Wapanese Pokéfags about Kadabra, and was shocked to discover its Japanese name, Yungeraa, is pronounced "UriGellerIsEvil." He also freaked out over Kadabra's spoon, and the obviously Nazi S.S. symbol written on Kadabra's pelvis.
—Uri Geller | ||
In addition, Geller has tried to sue IKEA for their Uri line of bent-legged furniture, and Timex, because they make watches advertised as resisting psychic influences (srsly).
Another LOLsuit of Geller's was against James Randi. Randi wrote a book containing spoilers on how his tricks are done, exposing Geller for what he really is. Geller got butthurt and did what any person with supernatural god powers would do: sued him. The lawsuit obviously failed, and Geller ended up paying Randi $150,000! LOL!
YouTube
Uri Geller also has a record of suing people who try to reveal he's not a real psychic. He's even gotten videos pulled from YouTube, despite this being a misuse of DMCA. He merely appears in the videos; the YouTube videos themselves are ripping off unrelated parties. Geller's attempts to remove videos that he does not own are actually copyright violations on his part (lol, irony). It is also an affront to free speech, blah blah blah, other serious business. With this new ammunition against Geller, militant disbelievers will finally succeed in having this fraud drawn and quartered once and for all.
House demonstrating how Uri Geller actually bends spoons
Epic Fail on the Tonight Show
Uri Geller rambling = OMG HE HAS REAL PSYCHIC ABILITIES!!!oneoneoneone111
Reality TV Show
Uri Geller also had his own Israeli reality TV show, "The Successor", which was picked up by NBC and aired in the United States as "Phenomenon." Geller considers the export of this television show to be Israel's greatest contribution to the world, completely discounting AOL Instant Messenger, the cellphone, and Windows NT, which were also invented in Israel.
—Uri Geller,talking in the third person like an ass | ||
The aim of the show is not to find someone with psychic powers, but to find someone who has an act. In other words, someone who is just like Uri Geller.
Related Articles
- Freud, Sir Clement - Geller's BFF, business partner in a gold-dowsing scam, co-owner with Geller of a thoroughbred racehorse, and a paedo
- Jackson, Michael - another of Geller's BFFs and a paedo
- Janner, Greville (Lord) - yet another BFF and a paedo
- Jewland - ancestral homeland
- Telekinesis - Geller's +1 skill
- Randi, James ("The Amusing -") - arch-foe (and a bit of a paedo, although the transcripts have been scrubbed from the web)
- Scam - see: Psychic
- Space Aliens - Geller originally claimed to have been given his power by such beings, but later STFU about it
- Yuri