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Krautchan: Difference between revisions
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{{infobox Chan|imageboard_name=Krautchan|imageboard_logo=[[Image:Krautchan_bannner_heinrich.png]]|date_founded=May 1st, 2007|major_boards=[[Polandball|/int/]], [[b/|/b/]], [[Neckbeard|/c/]],|epic_win= | {{infobox Chan|imageboard_name=Krautchan|imageboard_logo=[[Image:Krautchan_bannner_heinrich.png]]|date_founded=May 1st, 2007|major_boards=[[Polandball|/int/]], [[b/|/b/]], [[Neckbeard|/c/]],|epic_win=[[Tim_Kretschmer|Master IRL trolling]]|homepage=<s>[http://krautchan.net krautchan.net]</s> Dead}} | ||
[[Image:Krautchan.jpg|thumb|What Krautchan looks like when it's dead.]] | [[Image:Krautchan.jpg|thumb|What Krautchan looks like when it's dead.]] | ||
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[[Image:500 INTERNETS copy.gif|thumb|Official currency of Krautchan.]] | [[Image:500 INTERNETS copy.gif|thumb|Official currency of Krautchan.]] | ||
'''Krautchan''' was founded back in 1945 by [[moot]]'s grandfather after he had to leave [[Germany]] when his career took a little downturn. [[Truth|Krautchan has always been called Krautchan.]] It | '''Krautchan''' was founded back in 1945 by [[moot]]'s grandfather after he had to leave [[Germany]] when his career took a little downturn. [[Truth|Krautchan has always been called Krautchan.]] It was yet another attempt at establishing a [[Germany|German]] Imageboard where you meet [[Hitler|friendly Germans]] that welcome you in a [[Gay|friendly]] manner. Typically, there were around anywhere between four and seven different [[Pedophiles|people]] active, so don't expect too much traffic. Things change every time the Russians and Finns decided to provide it with [[Spam|content]]. | ||
They've also taken part in [[Project Chanology]] 2008. | They've also taken part in [[Project Chanology]] 2008. | ||
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April 15th 2010: After [[Gay|Berlinbernds]] presentation at a Blogger conference in Berlin the main page of Krautchan was replaced to disrupt the inevitable spread of cancer. This was successful for at least 2 hours, untill [[fag|Verraeterbernd]] announced [http://muelleimer.krautchan.net the new location] on [[Twatter]]. | April 15th 2010: After [[Gay|Berlinbernds]] presentation at a Blogger conference in Berlin the main page of Krautchan was replaced to disrupt the inevitable spread of cancer. This was successful for at least 2 hours, untill [[fag|Verraeterbernd]] announced [http://muelleimer.krautchan.net the new location] on [[Twatter]]. | ||
On 21st of March 2018 the Admin decided to [[Delete_fucking_everything|shutdown]] the website after losing control of the domain and realizing he was too [[old]] to host an imageboard anymore. Now Bernds have taken refugee in many imageboards including its spiritual successor [[Kohlchan]] and Ernstchan. Ernstchan lived for another three months before Kohlchan was the only one left. | |||
==Structure== | ==Structure== | ||
Line 24: | Line 25: | ||
* '''[[b/|/b/]]''' - Home of [[Sick fuck|Bernd]], this is an experimental board better not to fuck with. Please [[Crapflood|support]] it with depictions of [[Shitting Dick Nipples|beauty]] and [[Nigra|human]] [[Cock|superiority]]. | * '''[[b/|/b/]]''' - Home of [[Sick fuck|Bernd]], this is an experimental board better not to fuck with. Please [[Crapflood|support]] it with depictions of [[Shitting Dick Nipples|beauty]] and [[Nigra|human]] [[Cock|superiority]]. | ||
* '''/int/''' - Originally created as /uk/ to provide a temporary home for [[British|Britfags]] while [[Britchan]] was [[Party van|down]]. Now it's filled with a wide range of foreigners [[Polandball|who used to make fun of Poland]]. They are also more than happy to teach you about the wonders of <s>[[Esperanto]]</s> [[Russian]]. Welcome to [[/x/|OMSK]]. [[Oldfag|Some argue]] that /int/ is now a cesspool of Russians, Finns, Americans, Poles, 4channers and their memes. Local [[attention whores|celebrities]] include [[Asspie|Falcofag]], [[Engrish|Wojak]], [[Anti-Americanism|Amerirage/]][[Esperanto|NordAmerikano]], [[weeaboo|Cirnorussia]], [[lulz|Pedo-Kazakhstan]], [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|Emokiddeh]] and others nobody cares about. | * '''/int/''' - Originally created as /uk/ to provide a temporary home for [[British|Britfags]] while [[Britchan]] was [[Party van|down]]. Now it's filled with a wide range of foreigners [[Polandball|who used to make fun of Poland]]. They are also more than happy to teach you about the wonders of <s>[[Esperanto]]</s> [[Russian]]. Welcome to [[/x/|OMSK]]. [[Oldfag|Some argue]] that /int/ is now a cesspool of Russians, Finns, Americans, Poles, 4channers and their memes. Local [[attention whores|celebrities]] include [[Asspie|Falcofag]], [[Engrish|Wojak]], [[Anti-Americanism|Amerirage/]][[Esperanto|NordAmerikano]], [[weeaboo|Cirnorussia]], [[lulz|Pedo-Kazakhstan]], [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|Emokiddeh]] and others nobody cares about. | ||
* '''/vip/''' - Only good threads | |||
''General'' | ''General'' | ||
* '''/a/''' - Official [[Wapanese|Weeaboo]] hideout. | * '''/a/''' - Official [[Wapanese|Weeaboo]] hideout. | ||
* '''/c/''' - A board about [[Computer|Precision Engineering]] and all the [[video games|vidya gaems]] that are banned in Germany. Show your [[E-penis]] here or stay the fuck out, you have been warned. | * '''/c/''' - A board about [[Computer|Precision Engineering]] and all the [[video games|vidya gaems]] that are banned in Germany. Show your [[E-penis]] here or stay the fuck out, you have been warned. | ||
* '''/co/''' - Where you can discuss shows running on KiKa that can be enjoyed by [[manchildren|adults]] as well. | |||
* '''/d/''' - Here be drugs. Since it's a [[Germany|German]] board, you will find plenty about [[Jenkem|natural byproducts]]. | * '''/d/''' - Here be drugs. Since it's a [[Germany|German]] board, you will find plenty about [[Jenkem|natural byproducts]]. | ||
* '''/e/''' - Post images of your food and discuss several ways of eating cum. | * '''/e/''' - Post images of your food and discuss several ways of eating cum. | ||
* '''/f/''' - discussion about cars and stuff. | |||
* '''/fb/''' - Get advice on how to finally lay a real girl. | * '''/fb/''' - Get advice on how to finally lay a real girl. | ||
* '''/fe/''' - A board dedicated to [[Dutch|German]] bicycles and [[Hentai|echii]] (yes, seriously). | |||
* '''/fit/''' - The Board on which Bernd talks about never doing any sports, although some write fanfics about [[buttsex|exercising]]. | * '''/fit/''' - The Board on which Bernd talks about never doing any sports, although some write fanfics about [[buttsex|exercising]]. | ||
* '''/ | * '''/jp/''' - [[Wapanese|Weeaboo]] overdose. Where Touhoufags gather to post nothing ever. | ||
* '''/k/''' - Rarely visited Board with a lot of potential. All kinds of [[Original character|creative]] shit goes here. | * '''/k/''' - Rarely visited Board with a lot of potential. All kinds of [[Original character|creative]] shit goes here. | ||
* '''/l/''' - A place to discuss [[Homosexuality|literature]]. | * '''/l/''' - A place to discuss [[Homosexuality|literature]]. | ||
* '''/li/''' - [[ | * '''/li/''' - [[Hipster]]s | ||
* '''/m/''' - Music. [[ZOMG]] file sharing! | * '''/m/''' - Music. [[ZOMG]] file sharing! | ||
* '''/n/''' - Gardening and going to forests | |||
* '''/ng/''' - Bitcoin and finances | |||
* '''/p/''' - Very serious board to ramble about [[politics]], home of conspiracy theorists. | * '''/p/''' - Very serious board to ramble about [[politics]], home of conspiracy theorists. | ||
* '''/ph/''' - Zwischennetz-Übermenschen | |||
* '''/sp/''' - hideout of [[Magic]] and [[Dungeons & Dragons]] playing [[Neckbeard]]s. | |||
* '''/t/''' - Engineering. Mostly cars and mobile phones | * '''/t/''' - Engineering. Mostly cars and mobile phones | ||
* '''/trv/''' - IWO's and travelling. The only board besides /int/ and the moderation boards where you can talk in Angelsächsisch. | |||
* '''/tu/''' - [[Homosexuality]]. | |||
* '''/tv/''' - A board dedicated to movies and TV shows Bernd [[I_Don't_Watch_TV|refuses to watch]]. Mostly foreign stuff, obviously, since Germany is unable to produce any worthwhile entertainment. | * '''/tv/''' - A board dedicated to movies and TV shows Bernd [[I_Don't_Watch_TV|refuses to watch]]. Mostly foreign stuff, obviously, since Germany is unable to produce any worthwhile entertainment. | ||
* '''/v/''' - A board where you actually can discuss video games. | |||
* '''/we/''' - whine about your shitty live. | * '''/we/''' - whine about your shitty live. | ||
* '''/wp/''' - cats and nazis in wallpaper size | * '''/wp/''' - cats and nazis in wallpaper size | ||
* '''/z/''' - Drawing things | |||
* '''/zp/''' - Paint drawing things | |||
''Trial'' | ''Trial'' | ||
* '''/ | * '''/ft/''' - Bondage stuff | ||
* '''/r/''' - Germans are more christian than you might think. | |||
* '''/ | |||
''Fapping material'' | ''Fapping material'' | ||
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''Other'' | ''Other'' | ||
* '''/bans/''' - Where you can [[Flame Wars|politely ask]] for the banning of things you dislike or complain about the admin not whitelisting your IP for the ban [[Lie|not meant for you]]. | |||
* '''/kc/''' - Where to [[Crybaby|harass]] the [[Retard|mods]] until they create stupid new boards nobody will ever [[Lurker|lurk]] on. Also the right place to [[Flamewar|politely comment]] on the [[Shit|beauty]] and [[Database error|smart functionality]] of the underlying software. | * '''/kc/''' - Where to [[Crybaby|harass]] the [[Retard|mods]] until they create stupid new boards nobody will ever [[Lurker|lurk]] on. Also the right place to [[Flamewar|politely comment]] on the [[Shit|beauty]] and [[Database error|smart functionality]] of the underlying software. | ||
* '''/rfk/''' The board for the site's shut-down Radio Channel. | |||
''Scum'' | |||
* '''[[pol/|/rvss/]]''' - Where right-wingers and left-wingers can politely exchange their viewpoints on [[ZOG|German politics]] | |||
* '''/keller/''' - not shown in the overview. A hidden board for Jens and NEETs | |||
===Deleted boards=== | ===Deleted boards=== | ||
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* '''/ps/''' - [[Photoshop]] template [[circle jerk]]. Deleted because Germans prefer to steal memes and image macros rather than creating them by themselves. | * '''/ps/''' - [[Photoshop]] template [[circle jerk]]. Deleted because Germans prefer to steal memes and image macros rather than creating them by themselves. | ||
* '''/w/''' Mk.I - A board about weapons. Deleted when they realized that [[Gun control|nobody is allowed to own weapons]] in Germany anyway. | * '''/w/''' Mk.I - A board about weapons. Deleted when they realized that [[Gun control|nobody is allowed to own weapons]] in Germany anyway. | ||
* '''/w/''' Mk.II - Board for discussion of science and [[Hentai|ecchi]] | * '''/w/''' Mk.II - Board for discussion of science and [[Hentai|ecchi]] Deleted for obvious reasons. | ||
* '''/t/''' - A board about animals. Wasn't really worth the trouble because the only animals Germans seemed to like were run over and [[Citty_Glitter|burnt]] cats. | * '''/t/''' - A board about animals. Wasn't really worth the trouble because the only animals Germans seemed to like were run over and [[Citty_Glitter|burnt]] cats. | ||
* '''/cam/''' - camwhores - Krautchan has none | * '''/cam/''' - camwhores - Krautchan has none | ||
* '''/f/''' - [[No_girls_on_the_internet| | * '''/f/''' - [[No_girls_on_the_internet|Women]] | ||
* '''/tw/''' - [[Furry|animals]] | * '''/tw/''' - [[Furry|animals]] | ||
* '''/ | * '''/he/''' - Former Offical emo board for Bernd to whine about all his [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|interesting]] problems he encounters in [[RL]], from [[Computer_Science_III|academic failures]] to [[Friend_Zone|failing at getting laid]]. | ||
* '''/[[x/]]''' - [[UFO]] and ghost sightings. The board is strangely nowhere to be found anymore. | |||
===Administration=== | ===Administration=== | ||
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* Fagott spielen - being a fag | * Fagott spielen - being a fag | ||
* [[Salih]] - a dead sandnigger, most likely the best meme on Krautchan. | * [[Salih]] - a dead sandnigger, most likely the best meme on Krautchan. | ||
* Jens - a common name used to appreciate another Bernd. Note: It is wordfiltered so use Jeηs instead. | |||
Further [[protip|protips]]: | Further [[protip|protips]]: | ||
Line 126: | Line 146: | ||
*'''REMOVE (x) FROM PREMISES''' [[LOLWUT|tupac alive in serbia]] ({{youtube|hl_GFSjRESk|YouTube link}}) was first introduced to /int/ by some macedonian from [[Turkey|Istambul]] called "Sergej". | *'''REMOVE (x) FROM PREMISES''' [[LOLWUT|tupac alive in serbia]] ({{youtube|hl_GFSjRESk|YouTube link}}) was first introduced to /int/ by some macedonian from [[Turkey|Istambul]] called "Sergej". | ||
{{frame|<youtube>2_9pUJwg7TI</youtube><br><center><big>An ode to That Feel</big></center>| | {{frame|<youtube>2_9pUJwg7TI</youtube><br><center><big>An ode to That Feel</big></center>|border=grey|background=grey|margin=auto}} | ||
'''Games that are being played by international bernds''': | '''Games that are being played by international bernds''': | ||
Line 135: | Line 155: | ||
|Praetorians | |Praetorians | ||
|2009 | |2009 | ||
|[http:// | |[http://thepiratebay.se/torrent/4200833/Praetorians link]. A simple battle strategy. | ||
|- | |- | ||
|Age of Empires | |Age of Empires | ||
Line 160: | Line 180: | ||
==The home secretary reads the fake posting (German)== | ==The home secretary reads the fake posting (German)== | ||
<div class="center"> | |||
<youtube>5XKsEfGaWd4</youtube> | <youtube>5XKsEfGaWd4</youtube> | ||
Foar teh deaf: | Foar teh deaf: | ||
<youtube>XixnDQ8QReM</youtube> | <youtube>XixnDQ8QReM</youtube> | ||
</div> | |||
==Gallery== | ==Gallery== | ||
{{cg|Krautchan Gallery|krtgallery|center|<gallery> | {{cg|Krautchan Gallery|krtgallery|center|<gallery> | ||
Image: | Image:Krautchanmovie.gif|Krautchan - The Movie | ||
Image:krautchan_hdf.jpg|The only [[original character|original content]] ever produced on a German imageboard | Image:krautchan_hdf.jpg|The only [[original character|original content]] ever produced on a German imageboard | ||
Image:krautchan_deppenkoffer.jpg|Krautchan's most popular attention whores | Image:krautchan_deppenkoffer.jpg|Krautchan's most popular attention whores | ||
Image:Welcometokrautchan.gif|Typical results of lurking | Image:Welcometokrautchan.gif|Typical results of lurking | ||
</gallery>|<gallery> | </gallery>|<gallery> | ||
Image:Shaky.jpg|[[fatass|Krautchan's mod Shaky]] (spoiler: not real) | Image:Shaky.jpg|[[fatass|Krautchan's mod Shaky]] (spoiler: not real) | ||
Image:Moot-republica-kc.jpg|Krautchan's mod Shaky (this time it is) | Image:Moot-republica-kc.jpg|Krautchan's mod Shaky (this time it is) | ||
Line 183: | Line 205: | ||
Image:nein_du.png|Typical Krautchan user | Image:nein_du.png|Typical Krautchan user | ||
Image:raus_hier.jpg|Typical Krautchan user | Image:raus_hier.jpg|Typical Krautchan user | ||
Image:Krautchan_animexx.jpg|Krautchan's eternal struggle with the [[faggots]] from Animexx. | |||
Image:Eisenhower.png|King of KC | Image:Eisenhower.png|King of KC | ||
Image:Mara loli.jpg|Krautchan's all famous loli, bernd's true and only love | Image:Mara loli.jpg|Krautchan's all famous loli, bernd's true and only love | ||
Image:krautchan_int.jpg|Typical discussion on [http://krautchan.net/int/ /int/] | Image:krautchan_int.jpg|Typical discussion on [http://krautchan.net/int/ /int/] | ||
Image:Int debunking leftist ignorance of craniology.png|/int/ is famous for having serious discussions | |||
Image:USA_power_hour.png|Whenever [[4chan]] is down or it's evening in [[USA]] | |||
</gallery>|0}} | </gallery>|0}} | ||
Line 191: | Line 216: | ||
[[Image:Rfk_logo_kl.png|thumb|Krautchan Radio]] | [[Image:Rfk_logo_kl.png|thumb|Krautchan Radio]] | ||
*[http://krautchan.net Krautchan] | *[http://krautchan.net Krautchan] | ||
*[http://krautkanal.com Krautchan Archive] | |||
*[irc://irc.euirc.net/krautchan Krautchan IRC] | *[irc://irc.euirc.net/krautchan Krautchan IRC] | ||
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8MR6BBVDA8 Krautchan's theme song] | *[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8MR6BBVDA8 Krautchan's theme song] | ||
*[http://radio.krautchan.net/ KC radio] | *[http://radio.krautchan.net/ KC radio] | ||
*[https://ghostbin.com/paste/ppmhm A scatter brained history of Krautchan] | |||
*[https://github.com/erlehmann/krautchan-kopierpasteten Krautchan Copypastas] | |||
*[https://catchan.net/rif/ Last mirror of Krautchan] | |||
{{Germany}} | |||
{{4chan}} | {{4chan}} | ||
[[Category: Sites]] | [[Category: Sites]] |
Latest revision as of 18:06, 10 June 2021
Foundation | May 1st, 2007 |
Major Boards | /int/, /b/, /c/, |
Epic Wins | Master IRL trolling |
Website |
Krautchan was founded back in 1945 by moot's grandfather after he had to leave Germany when his career took a little downturn. Krautchan has always been called Krautchan. It was yet another attempt at establishing a German Imageboard where you meet friendly Germans that welcome you in a friendly manner. Typically, there were around anywhere between four and seven different people active, so don't expect too much traffic. Things change every time the Russians and Finns decided to provide it with content.
They've also taken part in Project Chanology 2008.
On September 13th 2008, the death of Krautchan was announced. It lasted exactly one day. There was never a satisfactory explanation and most of the resident basement dwellers were too busy recovering from the shock to demand one, anyway.
April 15th 2010: After Berlinbernds presentation at a Blogger conference in Berlin the main page of Krautchan was replaced to disrupt the inevitable spread of cancer. This was successful for at least 2 hours, untill Verraeterbernd announced the new location on Twatter.
On 21st of March 2018 the Admin decided to shutdown the website after losing control of the domain and realizing he was too old to host an imageboard anymore. Now Bernds have taken refugee in many imageboards including its spiritual successor Kohlchan and Ernstchan. Ernstchan lived for another three months before Kohlchan was the only one left.
Structure
Current boards
Like other chans, Krautchan offers a variety of boards the world will never need, confusing its never-growing user base of four Nazis and two chatbots. Most of these boards are blatant rip-offs from other chans, while some are the fruit of Bernd's own twisted mind.
VIP
- /b/ - Home of Bernd, this is an experimental board better not to fuck with. Please support it with depictions of beauty and human superiority.
- /int/ - Originally created as /uk/ to provide a temporary home for Britfags while Britchan was down. Now it's filled with a wide range of foreigners who used to make fun of Poland. They are also more than happy to teach you about the wonders of
EsperantoRussian. Welcome to OMSK. Some argue that /int/ is now a cesspool of Russians, Finns, Americans, Poles, 4channers and their memes. Local celebrities include Falcofag, Wojak, Amerirage/NordAmerikano, Cirnorussia, Pedo-Kazakhstan, Emokiddeh and others nobody cares about. - /vip/ - Only good threads
General
- /a/ - Official Weeaboo hideout.
- /c/ - A board about Precision Engineering and all the vidya gaems that are banned in Germany. Show your E-penis here or stay the fuck out, you have been warned.
- /co/ - Where you can discuss shows running on KiKa that can be enjoyed by adults as well.
- /d/ - Here be drugs. Since it's a German board, you will find plenty about natural byproducts.
- /e/ - Post images of your food and discuss several ways of eating cum.
- /f/ - discussion about cars and stuff.
- /fb/ - Get advice on how to finally lay a real girl.
- /fe/ - A board dedicated to German bicycles and echii (yes, seriously).
- /fit/ - The Board on which Bernd talks about never doing any sports, although some write fanfics about exercising.
- /jp/ - Weeaboo overdose. Where Touhoufags gather to post nothing ever.
- /k/ - Rarely visited Board with a lot of potential. All kinds of creative shit goes here.
- /l/ - A place to discuss literature.
- /li/ - Hipsters
- /m/ - Music. ZOMG file sharing!
- /n/ - Gardening and going to forests
- /ng/ - Bitcoin and finances
- /p/ - Very serious board to ramble about politics, home of conspiracy theorists.
- /ph/ - Zwischennetz-Übermenschen
- /sp/ - hideout of Magic and Dungeons & Dragons playing Neckbeards.
- /t/ - Engineering. Mostly cars and mobile phones
- /trv/ - IWO's and travelling. The only board besides /int/ and the moderation boards where you can talk in Angelsächsisch.
- /tu/ - Homosexuality.
- /tv/ - A board dedicated to movies and TV shows Bernd refuses to watch. Mostly foreign stuff, obviously, since Germany is unable to produce any worthwhile entertainment.
- /v/ - A board where you actually can discuss video games.
- /we/ - whine about your shitty live.
- /wp/ - cats and nazis in wallpaper size
- /z/ - Drawing things
- /zp/ - Paint drawing things
Trial
- /ft/ - Bondage stuff
- /r/ - Germans are more christian than you might think.
Fapping material
- /h/ - If Your Mom doesn't want you to look at /s/ and you think three dimensional women are disgusting anyway, this is your board of choice.
- /s/ - The only good thing about Krautchan. (Actually it's mostly boring)
Other
- /bans/ - Where you can politely ask for the banning of things you dislike or complain about the admin not whitelisting your IP for the ban not meant for you.
- /kc/ - Where to harass the mods until they create stupid new boards nobody will ever lurk on. Also the right place to politely comment on the beauty and smart functionality of the underlying software.
- /rfk/ The board for the site's shut-down Radio Channel.
Scum
- /rvss/ - Where right-wingers and left-wingers can politely exchange their viewpoints on German politics
- /keller/ - not shown in the overview. A hidden board for Jens and NEETs
Deleted boards
- /ps/ - Photoshop template circle jerk. Deleted because Germans prefer to steal memes and image macros rather than creating them by themselves.
- /w/ Mk.I - A board about weapons. Deleted when they realized that nobody is allowed to own weapons in Germany anyway.
- /w/ Mk.II - Board for discussion of science and ecchi Deleted for obvious reasons.
- /t/ - A board about animals. Wasn't really worth the trouble because the only animals Germans seemed to like were run over and burnt cats.
- /cam/ - camwhores - Krautchan has none
- /f/ - Women
- /tw/ - animals
- /he/ - Former Offical emo board for Bernd to whine about all his interesting problems he encounters in RL, from academic failures to failing at getting laid.
- /x/ - UFO and ghost sightings. The board is strangely nowhere to be found anymore.
Administration
As of today, there are three handsome guys to be blamed for the cancer that is the existence of Krautchan.
- Shaky - Seems to host the site on his private server in Florida.
- Tsaryu - Primarily known for shitty emo anime-oriented poems he posted all over the net at least 100 years ago, ask him about these for the lulz. Knows how to moonspeak.
- Der General - Keeps an eye on the superior Desuchan software Krautchan is running on.
Subculture
Bernd
Anonymous is called Bernd on Krautchan, which is a somewhat common and bland sounding first name in Germany. While descending from Anonymous, the average Krautchan user is even more special. Since the creation of lulz is an IRL bannable offense in Germany, many Germans are unaccustomed to the concept of free speech and upon discovering Krautchan, their first impulse often seems to be posting everything that's verboten in their home country (which includes pretty much anything that you could imagine, and then some) until they collapse from exhaustion. After this catharsis, they may either stay and become valued members of the community or go back to the anime shithole they came from.
In general, Bernd is much more helpful, patient and polite than Anonymous (as long as you post in a language other than English), and quite proud of his own raids against international corporations, Animexx and evil nazi black person.
The known mortal enemies of Bernd are Schäuble, "Ammischweine", INUVASHUN and freedom
AIDS
Since at least one user of Krautchan reportedly has AIDS, Krautchan can proudly call itself an imageboard officially full of AIDS now.
Fritzl
To keep the memory of great Australian hero Josef Fritzl alive, Bernd has recently created a digital likeness of him in Habbo Hotel, serving the community by offering helpless little girls shelter in his basement in exchange for sexual favors.
Fritzl 2
They returned a year later, and raided Habbo Australia and Habbo Germany. Raid was about an hour. After 40 minutes, people pulled out. Some lulzy trolling occurred in the last 20 minutes. A hueg Swastiget was in Australia, and a smaller one in Germany.
Memes
/b/
Starting out with a handful of copied and horribly translated memes from other sites, Bernd has now evolved to the point where he's able to create content that is at least as unfunny as everybody else's. Should you ever have to visit Krautchan, these phrases will help you communicate with the natives:
- Halt die Fresse (HDF) - shut the fuck up (STFU)
- Geh grillen - kill yourself / become an hero
- Soße / Qualle - sauce
- Meer - moar
- Lauer meer - lurk moar
- Fagott spielen - being a fag
- Salih - a dead sandnigger, most likely the best meme on Krautchan.
- Jens - a common name used to appreciate another Bernd. Note: It is wordfiltered so use Jeηs instead.
Further protips:
- Use Babelfish, which can translate from English to German with almost native fluency.
- To improve translation quality, use Babelfish more than once (e.g. English->Japanese->Hebrew->German).
- Read the article about Germany and make extensive use of copypasta. Efficiency is the key.
- Be sure to mention the war.
/int/
- Polandball
- That feel when (English that feeling, Chanspeak my face when). This phrase and the picture of a worried bald MS PAINT guy has been isolated from one of the Wojak's quality threads about seeking and trying to find a girlfriend. Since its outbreak in early 2010, this "meme" and its derivations become one of the most used on /int/.
- REMOVE (x) FROM PREMISES tupac alive in serbia ( YouTube link) was first introduced to /int/ by some macedonian from Istambul called "Sergej".
Games that are being played by international bernds:
Title | Year introduced to KC | Link and notes |
---|---|---|
Praetorians | 2009 | link. A simple battle strategy. |
Age of Empires | 2010 | Strategy game. |
Tim Kretschmer Krautchan hoax
On March 11th 2009, D-Dorf-Bernd used his mad photoshop skills to fake a message from german shooting star Tim Kretschmer in which he allegedly describes his intention to crack Cho's highscore. The stupid German police fell for it and the home secretary read the fake posting in a press conference. Later the posting was verified as being authentic after they seized Tims computer. Every major German news show subsequently quoted the fake post while Bernd met in IRC and fapped his dick off.
On the next day, the tiny Krautchan servers couldn't handle the internet fame, and their server is down for the time being.
They decided however to share the epic thread with the rest of the world.
After media learned about their error, they based their reporting on peer reviewed articles in an internet encyclopadia. ( "Anonymous is called Bernd on Krautchan, which is a somewhat common and bland sounding first name in Germany. ", encyclopaedia dramatica -> "Im US-Forum heißen aus diesem Grund fast alle Nutzer "Anonymous", bei Krautchan.net erfüllt diesen Zweck der Name "Bernd", Stern, "Während auf dem wohl bekanntesten Imageboard 4chan alle User als «anonymous» posten, sind sie in der deutschen Variante Krautchan als «Bernd» unterwegs.", netzeitung, "..., sondern können Beiträge grundsätzlich anonym unter dem Namen „Bernd“ (beziehungsweise „Anonymous“ in den USA) veröffentlichen." ntv.)
The home secretary reads the fake posting (German)
Foar teh deaf:
Gallery
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Krautchan - The Movie
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The only original content ever produced on a German imageboard
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Krautchan's most popular attention whores
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Typical results of lurking
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Krautchan's mod Shaky (spoiler: not real)
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Krautchan's mod Shaky (this time it is)
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Bernd's girlfriend Kotono.
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Krautchan's old, fat and ugly camwhore.
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The current user base of Krautchan, srsly.
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Krautchan's /int/ 99999 get
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Typical Krautchan user
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Typical Krautchan user
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Krautchan's eternal struggle with the faggots from Animexx.
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King of KC
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Krautchan's all famous loli, bernd's true and only love
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Typical discussion on /int/
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/int/ is famous for having serious discussions
External Links
- Krautchan
- Krautchan Archive
- Krautchan IRC
- Krautchan's theme song
- KC radio
- A scatter brained history of Krautchan
- Krautchan Copypastas
- Last mirror of Krautchan
Krautchan is part of a series on Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage. |