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Revision as of 16:53, 11 November 2011

THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.
BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.
   
“ 		 
We care very much about our player's money.
  		„
  		 

— Artix

Adventure Quest Worlds is a generically-titled American MMORPG with the sole purpose of sucking away your younger sibling's life, money, soul and intelligence. It is a wasteland of wasted money, 15-minute releases, broken promises, 12 year old's, trolls and lots and lots of Brazilians.

OFFICE MAX

"The money goes in, but it doesn't come out!"

It was a dark and stormy night in the secret underground facility and the AE team made up of evil jews were scheming as usual. "I have one of the greatest money grubbing idea's jewkind has had since banks!" Announced Artix to his legion of scam artists. "We'll pose as a free flash MMORPG and lure in all the poor kids who can't afford World of Warcraft. Then we'll suck away the few dollars they have!" and at the moment of agreement amongst the Jewish community, AQWorlds was born. Their scheme rivals the sub-prime mortgage loan scams of Wells Fargo and AIG except they trick small children into buying "Membership" and "Adventure Coins" instead of ghetto black people! The Staff makes you think you're paying for an MMORPG, when you're really paying for a dress up chat room full of trolls!

AQWorlds is irreplaceable amongst the gaming community, and is played by over four people. AQW is also a crowd space for many scene kids, skater kids, trolls and pedobear. These are actual kids, so destroy them before they can evolve into their teenager form. The game has a very special kind of humor, much like an adult or FBI agent trying to relate to 4channers.

   
“ 		 
Coming next week!
  		„
  		 

— Artix

Despite the fact that it's totally flash based they manage to lag your four thousand dollar PC more than Crysis just by adding a handful of pets into the game. Other then that, the characters run in some demonic sideways form to make up for the lack of 3D space. AQworlds also shows the most advanced security system on the internet, which is made up of schoolyard tactics of bluffing in the design notes, which is also full of shameless self advertisement on pretty much every site you can think of.

GamePlay

AQWorlds is a flash based game with graphics only toddlers would be impressed by. The characters are made of 2D sprites that run up and down the screen while their legs move in an akward un-matching forward motion. The game is composed primarily of doing quests that are meant to be "fun," except you end up having to kill the same mofo over again 20 times to pick up the shit they crapped out. The brain-dead NPCs that give the shitty quests don't even look at you for fear of catching your fagness.

Just about everything in the game from items to inventory space needs "Adventure Coins" to unlock. AE follows a mob mentality marketing model in order to make profits. They have over 9,000 rares pumped into the game annually, and so players don't feel like they missed out, the poor children are forced by the jews to shill out their lifes savings in order to buy up these pixels before they go rare forever. Players can by and customize their own houses which you must buy from a company called "Centaur 21," a extremely original name for a real estate company. Most of the people who don't shit out every last penny end up living in claustrophobic ghettos and cardboard boxes with "wooden" furniture, while the spoiled kiddies go romping around their extremely useful 2 floored mansion.


"the greatest reason to play AQ worlds."
   
“ 		 
Adventure Quest Worlds is kind of like anal sex, sometimes you like it, sometimes you hate it.
  		„
  		 

Story

"AM CHAOS LAWD ESCHURIYAWNZ."

The game follows a story of an epic battle between your player and the forces of chaos, which is ironically named considering its 100% predictable. Every Friday they release the same exact thing over and over again, and is almost beating Final Fantasy in the field of repetition.
You get news of new Chaos Lords and have to fight thousands of easy creatures before you have to fight an animal or myth themed mini-boss and finally the Chaos Lord.
Next friday you either get filler, despite the fact Artix said he wants to finish the main storyline as soon as possible, or you get the same thing repeated.
The only benefit to this is you get some pretty nice looking stuff, but then you realize it doesn't do anything and is just there for dress-up purposes. Infact, pretty much all weapons and classes are exactly the same, meaning that this game is pretty much Stardoll with combat. Every now and then the staff like to put a twist on things and release on Thursday instead of Friday, or Saturday instead of Friday if they get extra lazy! Wow!

"So pro!"

Special Events

On top of a storyline that seems to be written by 3rd-graders, AKA the brain-child of the office's college slut Beleen with her big tits but no brain, AQ Worlds has special events and releases used as an excuse for players to pay even more money for rip-off Adventure Coin items they don't need on top of membership. Apart from AE being a bunch of gold grabbing cheapskates, the reason for the constant plague of Adventure Coin items is due to only about 1% of the player-base actually paying for upgrades! The other part of the player-base numbering at a whopping 99% are completely non member and don't ever pay for a thing because they're too poor in Brazil or are only three years old in America! Smart right? So since if the Brazilians and Chillins can't get a job/beg their parents to pay for membership, Lord Cysero took it out on those who can pay by slowly turning them into rare hunting zombie faggots and mind washing them into buying AC item after AC item in order to support the strain those silly non members put on the AQ World's already crippled band-width. To add some perspective on how effective this has been so far in supporting the game, think of the servers running as fast as a one-legged donkey pulling a cart of iron bricks.

The "special events" largely consist of Cysero sending Beleen to cock suck mediocre musical talents in order to convince and bribe them with the price of a large pizza so that they agree to guest star in the shitty game. However, when they cannot find a mediocre musical talent to cock suck/bribe, they resort to the only thing they do best which is re-releasing last years holiday event shops. Resourceful!!! Most of these events including the re-used ones come with a special vag-badge to show that you were one of the dumb fucks who actually played through the shit fest of fail and wasted at least 15 minutes of your pathetic life.

Some of these magically queer events are!:

Musical

  • Voltaire! Too cool to turn down yet another one Beleen's sloppy wet blow jobs!
  • One Eyed Doll and the bat-shit insane lead singer Kimberly!
  • Johnathan Coultrane (who actually didn't do shit except flip Cysero off at the last minute!)
  • Ayi Jihu! A fugly escaped Chinese prostitute who is constantly being chased by the fear of being captured by communists and taken back for rape and beatings!
  • ArcAttack Nerds that play with lightning because they think its cool getting your ballz zapped!

Talentless

"What happens to when a normal outsider comes into contact with AQW."
  • Paul and Storm!: Do you know who the fuck these dangle berries are? That's right, you don't. Because nobody does. Kidnapped and forced to do AQ World's second upholder birthday bash these completely unmemorable gays reflect the AQW Spirit.
  • CTRL+ALT+DEL!: A bunch of totally stuck up pricks due to their psuedo-popularity with their dictator leader Simon trying to over compensate for his 3-inch penis. Cysero had to fap off Simon and Tim personally in order to get them to "do" a crappy 15-minute event. They make comedically challenged comics nobody reads but if you try really hard, you might be able to laugh at how poor and nerdy the humor is!

  • They Might Be Giants: They might be gay, but after that special live event, we're pretty sure they are.

Yearly Holidays!

As mentioned before they thrive off of re-use in AQ Worlds. In AQ Worlds they re-use a lot of things (I.E Beleen). In AQ Worlds a lot of things are re-used but tweaked to almost look different! AQ Worlds re-uses nearly everything for each release. Adventure Quest Worlds has things from previous releases in almost every release! AQ Worlds re-uses things by simply copying and pasting art! In AQW, non re-used things come a long once every few months! In AQ Worlds that's what they do best, re-use! This method of re-use has been used since AQ World's beginning days to minimalize the already non-existent work load that doesn't start getting done until 5min before release time!

  • Mogloween!
  • Thanks-for-giving-us your AC's giving!
  • Frostvale where you pay AC's for your gifts!
  • Chinkese New Year!
  • New Years!
  • Hero's Heart Day!
  • April Fool you into thinking we care day!
  • False Freedom Day!
  • Modfag Birthdays!
  • Staffag Weddings!
  • Any real life happenings that they can use as an excuse for more AC items!

Talk Like an Black Naval Commander Day!

"Amidoingitright?"

One day Captain Rhubarb had a few too many bottles of gin, vodka, rum, absinthe, beer and dog urine to drink while at work, thus was inspired to go on a drunken rampage around the lab. It was said he raped each of the female workers twice, threw thirty seven swivel chairs through the windows onto the street, jizzed on Cysero's monitor four times, and urinated on the rug and fake plants whereafter he finally smashed down his fists on his keyboard until every single account made during the Alpha period of AQ Worlds was deleted. After Rhubarb woke up from this drunken spectacle (though common in Irish workplaces) he realized that what he had done was a major no-no and Artix was disappoint! He sought to make amends with the confused and accountless and bawwing players who had spent so much time and money farming to level 10 during Alpha! Rhubarb decided to give these players rogue class with a black pirate coat on it! The faggots loved it! But all was still not well in the lab. Cysero and Artix realized that Rhubarb had given this class out for FREE, and while sober to boot!! That definitely wouldn't do, they had planned to charge players a year of membership in order to get their accounts back. So they schemed, plotted and raged in the Jew-Cave until eventually, Talk Like a Black Naval Commander was born!

   
“ 		 
Talk Like A Black Naval Commander, have you ever seen those cool kids with that coon skin pirate coat? Now you can have it too for some AC's bitches!.
  		„
  		 

— Cysero, Design Notes 2008

"How could they do this?!?"

Every September from that point on, an expensive Adventure Coin shop was to be released selling a re-colored versions of the Alpha-Faggots precious Class with a slew of other piratey drunkard inspired items! This bred feelings of jealousy among the Black Naval Commander owners. "These noobs did not spend an entire 30minutes farming to level 10 like we did only to have our progress deleted!! Why should they get something like our free non member class?!?" They could not understand why to their shock and awe, these strange people walked around with red and green armors similar to their own. The next year the even gayer Icy Naval Commander was released and the red and green naval commanders began to have conniptions too! And so the hierarchy of naval faggots was born.

Black Naval Commanders look down on dem -> Red and Green Naval Commanders who look down on dem -> Blue Naval Commanders who look down on -> Platinum Naval Commanders which look down on -> Icy Naval Commanders as well!

Classes

Mage/Sorcerer: Holy fucking shit guise I how original is this thing? Liek I never seen it in MMO before. Ridiculously overpowered and will ass-fuck everything by pressing two buttons.

Warrior/Warlord: The ever unoriginal class newfags pick. Also overpowered as fuck and will rape everything in sight if used right.

Rogue/Renegade: Dodgefag ninja.

Ninja/Assassin: See above.

Healer/Acolyte: Christfag that heals shit. Durr.

Dragonslayer: A slightly shittier Warrior that works on Scalefags.

(Beta)Berserker: Some overpowered Semi-Powered shit that you have to pay Jew for. There's a free one but you need to be a gay oldfag to get it.

DoomKnight: Expensive and underpowered Semi-Powered WoW rip you have to pay Jew for. Recently buffed but if you do want, you must pay a small price of 2,000ac's! Amazing!

Paladin: A fucked up aberration that happened when Artix fucked his dad]. The class got fisted by the moderator Furore who bawwed when it raped him in a fight.

Rustbucket: Moar liek cumbucket amirite? Broken and more useless than a woman out of the kitchen/bed. COMES WITH TWO OTHER CLONES (Enforcer and ProtoSartorium) HOW COOL!

ClawSuit: A fat fuck nigger Santa that shoves it's chode in little girls. Removed from the game because of bawwing players.

File:Claws.jpg
"Hide yo kids, Hide yo wife cuz we be rapin' ery body out hurr."

Leprechaun: Drunk-ass Irish cunt version of Rogue/Renegade.

Bard: Some laggy underpowered shit that the creators threw together as an excuse for a release.

Shaman: Overpowered and overused, Shaman class bent over any sort of balance in the game and fucked it harder than a nigger in a room full of 12 year old girls.

Black Naval Commander/Alpha Pirate: Rogue with moar gay in it. See Below.

Guardian: Some weak-ass shit that only Drakel War Lord gives a shit about.

Dragonlord: FUCK YOU, I'M A DRAGON!

Starlord: An overpowered dodgefag that lags.

Witch: Healer with tits.

Chronomancer: An overpriced class for Jew's who spent money on a fucking hentai calender full of Beleen's tits.

CardClasher: A shitty Yu-gi-oh rip with more pictures of Beleen's tit's on each card. Fap.

Necromancer: Was okay in their PTR debut. Now it's main use is to summon dildo-pets for personal usage.

Ranger: Requires butt-hurt rank 10 to get, pointless to rank up since it only has like one good move, only OP's and faggots (like they're not the same thing, amirite) use this.

Drudgen Beggar: An annoying as shit sub class commonly found in yulgars! Has the ability to use terrible grammar and spelling when shouting for drugden! Drugen! Drugned! Drugnd! Drrguyg!! DrrgfgSF!!! Drugdasdn!!!!

Brazilian: A class where all the Brazilians can questload all the Miltonius items they want and couldn't get banned, also lets you spam "BR? BR? BR?" and annoy the shit out of people who can't speak their alien language.

Chaos Shaper: Some gay overpowered class(For teh noobz) that was suppose to be Soulweaver but Cysero changed it to some Drakath nigger on MASSIVE amounts of meth and pot. Everybody uses this class for the move Ball Grip that can backfire on your testicles like it was nothing. Also have typos in the description, that truly shows how much AE cares about players who pay money for their jewish games.

Evolved Shaman: Some gay remake of Shaman class although its for ACs exactly the same except its less of a mana gulp, that gives a genuine kick to the face for those who work hard for their shit.

Undead Slayer: Overpowered remake of the shitty Paladin Class, can also be obtainable with ACs.... Artix and Cysero came up with that Jew-gold idea when Beleen gave them a blowjob, talk about brainstorming.

Raccoon: A class only Bitch_Azjurai has, after she gave anal sex to Elnaith. Exact same dipshit as Evolved Clawsuit, except with more nigger dodge.

No Class: Strongest fucking overpowered class in game, pressing 1 button can annihilate an army of furries.

Beast Warrior: Exact same shit as Warrior (see above) Except with moar fur and balls.

Vindicator Of They: Has managed to beat the shit out of more faggots than your mother has sucked cocks, you instantly win a pvp match by simply having this class, you're most likely a fucking retard if you actually manage to lose a pvp battle while using this class.

Famous People

File:Rainbow Tam.jpg
"AQW supports Gays too as long as they pay!."
  • The Amazing 350: Elitist asshole who calls people faggots in spite of the massive irony. He jewed Articks Etertanimentz out of monies and jizzed in Cysero's cash pool repeatedly before getting banned on the forum for being a nigger.
  • Dusknoir93: This Bitch is a whore that faints when Beleen is on sight. He thinks that he is a famous bitch because a Moderator said "Hi" to him. He enjoys having some slaves behind him for his personal issues. He thinks he is close to AE staff but he is a bitch. He's one of Xyo's mindless sex slaves A.K.A (Fanbase). He spends more money on AE more than he spends on food and water. He is also called "The Homoman". Suspected in having a gay relationship with Cysero.
  • Drakel War Lord: A fag who only bitches about that gay class Guardian. He is a worthless nigger who hacks shit in Anus Quest Worlds and goes batshit when Cysero says something on Twitter.
  • Zeldix21/E1T1 Natalie/ TheBlondeRogue: A self-righteous, overly stuck-up bimbo with a desperate, lustful bandwagon of dimwit followers whom she shamelessly rents dat pootang out to for teh moneys. Natalie, also desperate, also lustful, also a dimwit, would rent out TBR's pootang on the literal level and the new-found TBR would find herself whoring again! 40 times the STDs, 40 times the pretentious bullshit, 40 times the pain in the ass, we can only assume that Natalie took e-peen hard and deep.
  • Tvi: A suicidal emo Azn bitch that "quit" after the faggot Xyo dumped her after he realized he's attracted to animals and 40 year old males but not girls, she came back because now she got a lesbian lover A.K.A her other self (Tvi1) but she does have fine tits we all want to feel, so she's not that bad.
  • Braska: A gay yulgar-1 reg who thinks he's on top of the world because he can make proper sentences like the rest of us humans, known to have sexual relationship with Indestructable.
  • Kira_Nightingale: An emo bitch with a furfag bf that's sad 24/7 and wants someone to point a gun to her head and pull the trigger, she also enjoys masturbating when sad, mad, lonely, or desperate which's pretty much all the time.
  • Nehemiah: An overly stuck up faggot who does nothing in the game at all except sit around doing nothing, until one of the legendary mods come into the room, from which he immediately sparks up multiple conversations, in hopes that the mod will make him a mod. Little does he know, they hate Scientologists, thus ending his dreams to become a mod-- like he ever would anyways. Also known for his many unsuccessful attempts at blanking this article in a fit of butthurt, and wanting to white knight for the great and powerful mods. Upon seeing this, he may try to blank it a few more times.
  • PestyPearson: Some whore who fucked lots of kiddies over the Interwebs, some being on Twitter and some being plain fucking retarded enough. She wears all black to hide that ugly, freckled face that she has but is scared people will die from her ugliness. She looks like Amy Winehouse when she died and suck dick for membership and ACs just like her master Brittanyy.
  • Vamparagon: Thinks he is the most important person to ever walk the Earth because he owns the biggest clan. Criticize him even of the slightest amount and he will call you a troll and ignore you. Also has the largest e-peen of any browser-based game player.
  • 1c3 R3b0rn: A brown trap.
  • Komron234: Pretty Cool Guy Except He faps to Cards Too much. Also known as Merracist.
  • Smiley the Hun/TrunkZ: Half-brained fuck-wit, that jumps to guns when he jumps the gun. The redneck he is, when not on AQW, he assumes sport-fucking his sister with an oversized strap-on ripping her a new asshole 4 times the original circumference. A tryhard troll that uses this very article as a dictionary, yet does not comprehend the meanings of tryhard or troll. This esteemed Texan has no idea that his precious alt TrunkZ hacked Black Naval Commander during the Gamma of Dubz.
  • Soulgoldknight:Shit-for-brains wannabe troll shit that moans at Cysero for for fucking his metrosexual ass into the pavement. Soulgoldknight, too cheap to buy his own membership, jews it out of others through sexual sanctions that rival even Zoroua's unyielding faggotry.
  • Zoroua: Weeaboo Arab by all means. How his parents spawned such a breed of horny, homoerotic desperation is an enigma better left un-fathomed. Zoroua claims to be bi-sexual, but is actually a flaming hard-gay who would give anything to be jailbait at the county prison. Zoroua enjoys anal sex with all of his twitter followers and masturbating to Jeffree Star Music Videos in his free time. Rumored to be Al Qaeda's new plot for destroying AQDubz and crashing Twitter through gay shenanigans and spammy incoherent posts. Recently hit 70,000 hard-gay tweets; if he is not stopped soon, this plan may come into actual fruitation.
  • Nomtan: I LEIK TEH POKEMONZ PR0N
  • Thantos: Your average pretentious elitist putting himself over others on structure-less presumptions knowing perfectly well what a pompous ass he makes of himself. In such a narrow state of mind, he'll bust his balls undoubtedly if anything is said to set off the overly obvious short-circuit that comes with your average egotist.
  • Van Dizel: Makes Michael Jackson and Justin Bieber want to puke, he also is an attention whore who had to beg the SysOp to add himself to this article, will gender change until he starts hallucinating yet again and his imaginary girlfriend begins yelling at him.
  • Mody_909: Another cool Arab who spends too much money on this shitpile of an MMO. Mody is incredibly arrogant, and thinks of himself as a 'king' (actually, king of the faggots sounds like a great title for this kid). All his shitty AQ Dubz pixel items are purchased using his gay daddy's oil well money.

Staff

  • Cysero: (Pictured Above) Where to begin, Cysero LOVES his money and will do anything to get his queer hands on it,from releasing pricy Adventure Coin item's each week and jacking off to the Limited Quantity Shops as they drop in item stock, Cysero tries to do everything he can to put a price tag on each release. He has little to no concern about the quality of the game (as shown above) and when Lolicon artist Miltonius (now known as Nulgath a big fucktard anal probing bug alien) made a zone better than his beloved tree house, he had it destroyed and thrown to the non members. He also enjoys masturbating with his left tube sock while Alina and Samba have lesbian sex for him on his desk.

-Faggot Jew Status: Confirmed

  • Artix Krieger: The monster behind this jewish program used to harvest the minds, souls, and pockets of young children and Brazilians of all ages quite similar to the late Walt Disney. Once every year Fartix checks back in on how AQ Worlds is doing after he finishes counting his money, fucking prostitutes and OED's Kimberly in his Doomknight room (built entirely off of players cash) only to find that to his dissapointment, Cysero has not released enough overpriced AC items this year to fatten up his wallet (to make more doomknight rooms and pay more prostitutes when Beleen isn't available). Thus, Cysero is beaten in front of the rest of his staff (slaves) and in order to make a further example, promptly made to give Lord Fartix a hot blowjob. In order to boost profits and make himself smile with contentment knowing money is being made on that one day he checks back in, Artix devised the upholder system so that every year when he glimpses at AQ World's homepage, he feel at ease to see the nitwits scrambling to upgrade and buy AC's so that they too can have a gaylord boyscout badge and feel a little more like Indestructable...by about 40th upholder.

-Fag-adin Status: Confirmed each time he starts a shitty trap MMO

  • Alina: Rolith's bitchslut that can press keys on a keyboard to make stories better than Beleen can.

-Whoreslut Status: Not Guilty one of the few acceptable staff team members.

  • Beleen: An ugly, STD-ridden slut with sex hair and a smile that would make The Joker cry. Her legion is ten thousand nerdy fanboys strong, and they rage with the force of a thousand suns when someone points out that their idol is an whore.

-BitchSlut Status: Confirmed for every quart of jizz she has guzzled.

File:Beleen.jpg
HERP DERP! Who wants to bend me over their desk next?!."
  • Zhoom: A nerdy sand nigger who apparently can't count, program or do his job due to the cock loads of lag in AQ Worlds

-Faggot Status: Confirmed every single fucking time the game lags/crashes/can't improve anything/quests don't work/everything doesn't work he reveals his complete inability to code for hippopotamus chodes.


  • Miltonius/Nulgath: A half chink hentai artist hired by Artix after he masturbated to the rape scene in Akumi, Miltonius is now known by the Alias "Nulgath" due to people finding out about his previous career as a lolicon/hentai maker and Artix didn't want all the 13 year old boys on AQW to steal all his favorite anime porn vids and and felt only he deserved to fap them. So, Fartix demanded that Miltonius (we call him by what he really is on the ED) change his name to something gayer and transform into a fat greasy insectoid rapist and fly to Florida to give him oral sex so that poor Milton could keep his job. He is now best known for his overused and worthless Juggernigger items that help non-member Brazilians and quest loading fuckers feel 1337 too, and better than the negro naval commander owners who are not 13 years old.

-Faggot Status: Not Guilty of Faggotry. One of the few remaining talents on the AE team sadly persecuted by the green faggot for being such.

  • Elnaith: An online ladies man who spends all day trying to please sluts like Brittanyy. The only boob he ever touched IRL is his mother's and all his friends are 12 year olds who play Dungeouns and Dragons in his basement, he also faps each time to the severe warnings he gives out to dem silly trolls on the GD.

-Faggot Status: Confirmed for every severe warning in my shitfucking inbox.

  • TLD4: Some faggot from the forums who lied about being 18 (Which he is really 12), to be a moderator and get every oldfag weapon and armor/class.
  • Dage the Evil/Daggot the Feeble: Retarded WoW fanboy who believes "art" is made by making things black and shoving skulls all over it. he tlaks lik dis nd rages wen u dont like his shitty remake design shit and act like one of his "Dage-ites" also known as Daggots. Dage enjoys riding his stolen motorbike and bragging about how he was once a hand-model for Hollister until he was fired. On Twitter, Dage enjoys sharing the adventures of his amazing life and spectacular art work (see chronocorrupter) with his google eyed 13 year old fan base. This makes Dage hard and he always enjoys a good fapping session while reading the comments little boys posted on his twitpic.

-Faggot Status: Confirmed 'Nuff Said.

  • Xyo: Xyo: A pathetic Asian who got famous for making shitty music videos and sucking dick. His dire lack of talent reminded the Articks Entertainmnt staff of their own lack of talent so they made him a moderator for no fucking reason. He also had a gay three-way with Elnaith and Zheenx. Really, his work is so bad it makes the plot of an 80's porn video appear to be a well planned out masterpiece. If you gave a down-syndrome afflicted three year old some crayons and a flip-book, said three year old would beat this chinks ass up and down in a film festival. This gay Asian doesn't even do shit for AE now, he's in college masturbating while his roommate is fucking his mother beside him.

-Faggot Status: Confirmed just take a long gander.

  • Zheenx: A retarded Brazilian faggot who's famous for sucking cocks on Youtube (he actually posted a video of him sucking his boyfriend's dick) then played the 'lul hacked' card. His 'personal' items also look like shit; a testament to his total lack of talent.

-Faggot Status: Confirmed guilty of being a homosexual shit faced Brazilian.

  • Samba: A air headed and small brained prostitute AE decided to hire off the streets because Cysero grew tired of tripping over her at the lab's door step each day. She is constantly bubbly and obnoxiously peppy due to always being cock drunk from Artix anally sodomizing her at the end of each "work day" in the underground lab, (so much that she turned blue). Currently known as the "Troll" of the staff team despite all of falling under that category by pretending to make a good MMORPG when they know in reality it is not, for the lulz and profit.

-Whore Status: Undecided

  • Mennace: A good man, who stumbled into a bad part of town. He ran away from AQdubz faster than a Mexican hopping the boarder after he realized his mistake in signing on to the AE team. Oh WAIT THEIRS MORE After mennace left, cysero slapped him with a bag of (fake)money and gave him another contract. Like the miltonius thing, he changed his name to some gay "solrac". I'm not surprised mennace accepted it, it's better then lawn service

-Faggot Status: Straight this man left the ship wreck known as AE with his pride and anus intact.

  • Xusha: A russian artist who sucks almost as much dick as Beleen. became mod after Alina got skullfucked into a coma during one of the many company orgies. Her art sucks and is filled with blood or some and dead people, none of it actually goes into the game so she just writes item names and descriptions.

Bitchslut Status: Confirmed many times over. She's Russian after all.

Features

Too Cool for School.
  • Have up to 5 Different attacks including auto attack!
  • Spend hours grinding in order to get to level 10 level 45.
  • Spend hours performing the same "kill X amount of monster" quest so you can afford a weapon you aren't a high enough level to use!
  • Communicate with canned responses!
  • Have a pet that doesn't help in anyway and bog down the frame rate!
  • Take 5 minutes to rest and heal after every single fight!
  • Participate in recycled holiday events!
  • Buy recycled armors from those recycled holiday events!
  • Complete overuse of crappy armors!
  • Re-use Re-use Re-use Re-use Re-use Re-use Re-use Re-use...!!!!
  • See your rare items hacked daily by 13 year old Quest Loaders who just don't give a shit!
  • A broken report system to let those quest loaders run free!
  • Completely Broken Game-Play Dynamics!
  • Engage in annoying "NOU PROVE ME WRONG" religious debate with Baron von Bloodlust!
  • No music! They have it now! Sounds like Beleen giving Cysero a Bj.
  • Shitty sound effects!
  • The eye opening and informing discussions on forums!
  • Spend 50$ a year so you can actually do something (soon to be raised bitches)!
  • Wait 10 seconds to switch to another screen!
  • Be ignored by high level 40 45's!
  • Be asked to join a group 15 times after saying no!
  • Having to listen to Leo or Techno for hours on end!
  • Covering up cleavage on an NPC because it was too horny for Firearmed!
  • Having a dildo as a quest reward!
  • Annoying typos!
  • Get begged for "Drugen" by illiterate noobs constantly even if you don't have it!!!
  • Juggernigger items!
  • Daggot The Feeble Items!
  • Stand around in a pub for hours waiting for teh kewl mods to come and giv u kewl tu!
  • Harass said mods with mind blowingly stupid and or idiotic questions! (HOW MUCH HEALHT WIL DRAKAT HAV?!?)
  • Hardly any spoons!
  • See cleavage and bare legs on every girl character and now even on surfboards!
  • Incredible animation by Miltonius, famous lolicon/porn animator from the internetz!
  • Have your own shitty cabaret show!
  • Sucking corrupt moderator dick for favors!
  • Get the shit annoyed out of you by Brazilians!
  • Brittanyy giving free cybersex. Just type "/w brittanyy <message>" for this feature!
  • Be able to talk to the tight ass jewfag known as Dracorath!
  • Get banned by Xyo for not being part of his army of mindless sex slaves known as his fanbase!
  • Be able to be a part of Dage's "Legion" filled with activities like prodding, sucking and stroking his inflated ego.
  • Making masturbation jokes about Reddik's name!
  • Listening to AE's top fans! "algeum br?"!
  • Listen to Cysero all day and night!
  • 95 percent AC releases each week (sometimes 96%)!
  • 4 1/2 percent non member, and half a percent member items!
  • Lots of boy scout badges to make you feel special!
  • Buy useless ACs stuff every week to put the smile on your pretty boy face!
  • Going onto their wikidot and putting up a video of a shirtless guy dancing, only to have it deleted because the moderators do not have enough sexual confidence!
  • Game play that is shittier than Hotel Mario!
  • Really big weapons so people can compensate for their micro-penis!

Forums

A cornucopia of pedos, nerds, emos, kids way too young to be on a forum, furries, and dudes who take this game way too seriously make up the pits that are the forums. Members are surprisingly hostile to "noobs". Prime trolling material. [1]

"An AEF Arch-Knight in his/her natural habitat."

-The wonderful land of AEF AQW can be broken up into primarily four distinct hell holes. Yes four, fuck the bugs section because the entire game is a bug and fuck guides because guides are for the weak:

General Discussion:

"^A common GD discussion thread.^"

Ignorant Questions and Cock Suckers Answers hoping to get dat Arch Knight:

Ignored Suggestions:


And by the end of the day if you say something that boarders common sense or questions the fascist authority of the Staff. . .

You might just unlock this unique achievement, Compliments of Elly himself!!!!!!

Twitter and Facebook

The AE twitter community is comparable to an AQDubz outside of AQDubz. It's LITERALLY the same (except maybe even better in the gameplay department)! See here:

Twitter is:

1. Like an extremely limited chat room minus the dress up shit and AC's.

2. You can only say about 140 words on AQW before getting muted for spamming, but you can do the same on twitter with NO filter and NO mutings!

3. Talk with the same retarted fuckers you know and love, except through mentions and not in the Y-1 gay bar!

4. Put up with faggots like Zoroua spamming gay shit on your twitter timeline instead of your AQW chat box!

5. Put up with Arab Mody_909 pretending to have friends and be cool on Twitter instead of watching him desperately camp B-1 and Y-1 in search of Moderator Anal Sex and acknowledgement!


6. Get previews of empty releases, broken promises and items you will be wasting money on before they are talked about in the Design Notes!

7. Listen to Veonyx not play AQdubz anymore and get play by play updates about his narcissistic antics!

8. Listen to all the narcissistic assholes you would normally find in Y-1, right there on your very own twitter time-line without the hassle of spamming to get into the room first!

9. Watch wannabe AE artist players like Tooterser post their "artwork" on twitpic. They hope lord Cysero or some other drunken staff member will pluck them from the masses of uneducated shitheads and take them to the promised land of golden names, modship, no work and Beleens vaginal hole! Oh sweet baby jesus! Halleh-looyaz! Oh yes! Oh yes! Amen! Fire and Glory! Praise the lawd!!! Can I getta AMEN.

10. Pretend to have friends in real life and use tinychat as a way of showing off your ugly face to the community. If you're a girl, the tits of get the fuck out rule applies here. Show off them size A-Cups for Jenchy babes!

"Nuff Said."


Facebook is:

1. A place for no life geeks, bronies, arabs, dweebs, nerds, fat bitches, ugly humans and leprechauns to gather and make friends.

2. If you have over 2,000 AQW related friends added, you win the game and become super cool kid of the year.

3. Nobody fucking uses facebook for AQW. If you do you're fucking retarted and should make a twitter and spread your queerness there.

4.Nobody uses facebook for AQW

5.Nobody uses facebook for AQdubz

6.Nobody uses facebook for Adventure Coin Worlds

7. Nobody ever, and I mean ever, fucking uses facebook for Adventure Quest Worlds, except for the 150,000+ geniuses to liked it on the homepage.

8. If you do find yourself using Facebook for AQW and not real life purposes by accident or mistake, fear not. The solution to this problem is plain and simple. If you live in America or Switzerland, take a pilgrimage to the nearest arms vendor in your area. Apply for a gun license and wait for it to arrive. In the mean time, purchase ammo. When it arrives, buy a shotgun. Retire to your place of residence, pull down the shades, rest your neck (or anus, depending on preference) on the tip of the barrel. Once in comfortable position, promptly pull the trigger and bask in the fruits your good decision.

  • Note, If you pick the anal configuration, you might not be able to reach the trigger. In this case tie a piece of string to it and then pull from your position as instructed. look here for an example

How to Troll An Adventure Quest World's Player or a Staff Member

  • Ask how much money they have wasted on virtual worthless dress up items
  • Beg for Drudgen in Yulgars
  • Beg for Nulgath Larvae in Yulgars
  • Beg for a free account in Yulgars
  • Beg for free membership and AC's in Yulgars
  • Pm players saying you'll give them free AC's for their password
  • Tipe wit relly bad speling and gramer wich gets on teh nervs of any1 ovr the age of thurteeen lawl
  • Inquire about the lack of game-play and abundance or worthless shit causing massive lag
  • Complain and bitch about the excessive amounts of lag that permeate every pixel of the Adventure-less World
  • Talk about how Niggers and Jews deserve to burn on a cross and support Adolf Hitler
  • Quest Load Tercessuinotlim rares and then brag about it to a first generation owner
  • Quest Load anything and brag about how you didn't get banned for it in front of a rare collector
  • Constantly spam friend/group/duel invites to anybody that comes into your field of vision!
  • Equip rogue Vindicator of They and completely destroy every other class in PvP then proceed to brag about how much "skill" you have
  • Claim that PvP requires large amounts of skill to be good at and not mindless sliding and button mashing
  • Claim that anything in AQW requires any amount of drive or skill
  • Harass Cysero on Twitter telling him his game sucks crab infested hairy Mongolian anal pubes
  • Harass Cysero on Facebook telling him his game sucks crab infested hairy Mongolian anal pubes
  • Make countless fake staff member Facebook and twitter accounts in order to scam dipshits out of their accounts
  • Acquire vast amounts of rares and show them off in in front of lesser fortunate players who don't have shiny items like you do
  • Constantly spam emotes and class skills in Yulgars in order to make people lag
  • If you're a fuck-tard that purchased ULTRAHAT spam /headbang in a crowded area, lulz will ensue
  • Sexually harass and ask out any player that appears to even remotely resemble the female sex
  • Change genders and pretend to be a cute single 15 year old girl (sick fuck) like Zilford the Legend and Z0roua
  • Be Zilford the Legend, Z0roua, Stealthy Cupcake, Drakkan or anyone under the age of 13 (or acts like it)
  • Ask mods idiotic questions like the color of Drakath's Penis before they hop rooms to show off their mod items to other players
  • Join the staff
  • If you can't really join the staff, make fake twitter and facebook accounts impersonating them to steal passwords and accounts lulz!
  • Start vulgar and inappropriate threads on forums seeing how many severe warnings you can get from DatElnaith
  • Start a conversation about how great Dage the Evil is and how he deserves to take over as AQW's boss
  • Start a conversation about how gay and faggoty Dage the Evil is in front of a group of loyal Daggot's
  • Spam "Alguem Br" on any server other than Espada
  • Spam "DOES ANYBODY SPEAK ENGLISH" on the Espada Server
  • Tell drudgen beggars that you do in fact have drudgen, then refuse to let them use it
  • Be obnoxious and wear absolutely godawful armor combinations that not even a blind, deaf and mute retard would think matched
  • If you're a male, wear especially faggy armors such as anything with pink on it and fairy wings
  • Brag and lie about how great membership is on a non-member server
  • Virus your computer with shitty packet kitties and start spamming canned chat because you don't get muted for it
  • Do nothing, people will seriously start bitching just because the room they joined is quiet
  • Harass and assault staff members on twitter via mentions until you get blocked!
  • Monitor a staff meeting filmed on webcam, take a picture of Cysero flipping off the room, and then proceed to upload it for all of the interwebz to see! (Massive Brownie Points)

*A gay site made my a player named Techno Shittiest website to ever hit the intercock.

AQ Worlds is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.


 AQ Worlds is part of a series on MMORPGs. [Gratz!Ding!]
Forerunners:

Angband• Diablo• Dungeons & Dragons• FATAL• Ragnarok• Rogue• Warhammer 40,000

MMORPGs:

Age of Conan • Anarchy Online • City of Heroes • Conquer Online • Dark Age of Camelot • Darkfall • Earth Eternal • EVE Online • EverQuest • EverQuest II • Final Fantasy XI • Final Fantasy XIV • Free Realms • Hero Online • Life • MapleStory • Minecraft • Pangya • Ragnarok Online • RuneScape • Ruby Dragon Entertainment • Silkroad Online • Star Wars: The Old Republic • Tabula Rasa • Toontown • Ultima Online • Wikipedia • World of Warcraft • WWII Online

Semi-MMORPGs:

Diablo II • Diablo III • Endless Online • Furcadia • Gaia Online • Graal • Guild Wars • Kingdom of Loathing • Progress Quest • Second Life • Space Station 13 • Tibia • War Thunder

Developers:

Blizzard Entertainment • Jagex • Sony Online Entertainment

Related Drama:

Athene • Baby Grace • Battle.net Forums • Bloodraptor • Cloudsong • Darknest • Durthas • EQ2Flames • Goon Squad • Helm • Jammno • Jennichelle • JRanger • Leeroy Jenkins • Maarten • Murloc • Owlsamantha • Poopsock • Rick Astley Forum • Shawn Woolley • Silver Circle • Zezima

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