Church of Euthanasia

The Church of Euthanasia believes we should pwn ourselves and our offspring and possibly everyone else (not necessarily in that order) in order to create a balance with the natural world.

Beliefs

Rev. Chris Korda, the transvestite leader of the euthanasians.

The four pillars of species-deletion are:

• Suicide
• Homosexuality
• Abortion
• Cannibalism

The last pillar can be ignored if you follow the following rule:

• Absolutely no grass on the playing field

Why? Because:

1. Assumption: Humans are selfish and egotistical and have a drive to reproduce.
2. Solution: Convince said humans to become an heroes.

Serious business Euthanasians have been known to hang around suicide sites such as alt.suicide.holiday, in order to convince sad people that suicide really is the solution. This is the way that a Euthanasian can approach sainthood. Just like Mormons who have 12 kids get to drive a really big fucking SUV in their mini mall heaven, so Euthanasians who convince people to kill themselves get to enjoy this heavenly suffering boneyard we call planet earth.

Convincing people that killing themselves will earn them a special place in heaven is also a tactic used by Mulsims.

Logical Fallacies

As you might have noticed there is a large hole both in their logic and in the space inside their heads. Here are a few problems they have yet to address:

• Restoring a balance with the natural world is stupid. The natural world can eat a dick.

• The people at the Church of Euthanasia are fags. No, that's not a cheap shot - most of them are actually gay or transexual. Because they can't have little abortions to call their own they assume nobody else should either.

• If people really are selfish and egotistical as they say chances are they wouldn't give two shits about saving the planet anyway.

I Like To Watch

Euthanasians get jollies out of watching 9/11 reruns, and wrote a song based off of this entitled "I Like To Watch", along with a shit video that features 9/11, sports clips, and sluts getting facials.

[1] The Video.

Dox

The Church of Euthanasia
P.O.Box 261
Somerville, MA 02143
USA 

See Also

• Voluntary Human Extinction Movement Another very similar organisation
• Religion
• Hippie
• Suicide

External links

• Official website.
• Their online magazine "Snuff It"
• The TOW article, which is invariably lulzy in itself.

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