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E.T.: Difference between revisions
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{{spoiler|E.T and Elliot almost died but E.T. made it back to his home planet, and E.T.'s species appear in the Star Wars sequels - that's why E.T. recognizes a kid dressed as yoda in the spielberg film which means E.T. himself is a fucking jedi, which explains that flying bike shit}} | {{spoiler|E.T. and Elliot almost died but E.T. made it back to his home planet, and E.T.'s species appear in the Star Wars sequels - that's why E.T. recognizes a kid dressed as yoda in the spielberg film which means E.T. himself is a fucking jedi, which explains that flying bike shit}} | ||
[[Image:ETMJ.jpg|thumb|180px|right|Learning how to [[molest|entertain]] from the master.]] | [[Image:ETMJ.jpg|thumb|180px|right|Learning how to [[molest|entertain]] from the master.]] | ||
'''''E.T. (The Extra Terrestrial)''''' is a [[Pedophilia|magical]] [[Propaganda|film]] about an [[Mexican|alien]], whos parents hate the fucking sight of him, so they do a [[Maddie|"Maddie"]], dumping him on earth. He then goes on to [[Rape|befriend]] a [[13-year-old boy|young boy]] called Elliott, and engages in sexual activity with his mother and sister before fucking off [[Mexico|home]]. | '''''E.T. (The Extra Terrestrial)''''' is a [[Pedophilia|magical]] [[Propaganda|film]] about an [[Mexican|alien]], whos parents hate the fucking sight of him, so they do a [[Maddie|"Maddie"]], dumping him on earth. He then goes on to [[Rape|befriend]] a [[13-year-old boy|young boy]] called Elliott, and engages in sexual activity with his mother and sister before fucking off [[Mexico|home]]. | ||
== Merchandise == | == Merchandise == | ||
[[Image:E.t. meth.jpg|thumb|right|Early tie-in merchandising.]] | [[Image:E.t. meth.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Early tie-in merchandising.]] | ||
[[image:Etspaceship.JPG|thumb|20,000,000,000,000 made just in time for [[Hanukkah|Christmas]]]] | [[image:Etspaceship.JPG|thumb|200px|20,000,000,000,000 made just in time for [[Hanukkah|Christmas]]]] | ||
Creaming at the prospect of a [[Star Wars|Star Wars]] type franchise, Shlomo [[Sell Out|auctioned off]] E.T. to the highest bidder. As a result, there was nary a surface to be seen which didn't bear E.T.'s [[Retarded|loveable]] visage. Rumor has it, that [[Michael Jackson]] paid $1M to spend a night alone with the puppet... and not even the cool mechanical one with a robotic mouth. E.T. didn't mind though, his asshole was already gaping due to the combined force of Senor Spielbergo and his [[Jews|associates]]. | Creaming at the prospect of a [[Star Wars|Star Wars]] type franchise, Shlomo [[Sell Out|auctioned off]] E.T. to the highest bidder. As a result, there was nary a surface to be seen which didn't bear E.T.'s [[Retarded|loveable]] visage. Rumor has it, that [[Michael Jackson]] paid $1M to spend a night alone with the puppet... and not even the cool mechanical one with a robotic mouth. E.T. didn't mind though, his asshole was already gaping due to the combined force of Senor Spielbergo and his [[Jews|associates]]. | ||
=== The Infamous Atari Game === | === The Infamous Atari Game === | ||
<br> | |||
<center>{{frame|[[image:ET2600-TheBestPart.png|LOL Landfill!]]|border=black|background-white}}</center> | <center>{{frame|[[image:ET2600-TheBestPart.png|LOL Landfill!]]|border=black|background-white}}</center> | ||
<br> | |||
Pioneering the now tedious tradition of releasing a shit computer game on the back of the success of a film, Spielberg & Co. decided to cash in on the [[Oh exploitable|fantastic potential]] of E.T. by [[Prostitute|selling]] the film rights to [[Atari]]. Unfortunately the game was so dire that what was forecast as [[Profit]][[Oneoneone|!!!!!11111]] for the people at Atari, ended up in [[EPIC FAIL]], with Atari being reported as "[[An hero]]ed" [[Last Thursday]]. Then, like all American problems, the shady East took [[JEWS DID WTC|the fall]] and [[IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!|almost all]] copies of the game were taken to the Iraqi desert where Atari gifted the sacred land with trillions of tons of imperishable plastic. | Pioneering the now tedious tradition of releasing a shit computer game on the back of the success of a film, Spielberg & Co. decided to cash in on the [[Oh exploitable|fantastic potential]] of E.T. by [[Prostitute|selling]] the film rights to [[Atari]]. Unfortunately the game was so dire that what was forecast as [[Profit]][[Oneoneone|!!!!!11111]] for the people at Atari, ended up in [[EPIC FAIL]], with Atari being reported as "[[An hero]]ed" [[Last Thursday]]. Then, like all American problems, the shady East took [[JEWS DID WTC|the fall]] and [[IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!|almost all]] copies of the game were taken to the Iraqi desert where Atari gifted the sacred land with trillions of tons of imperishable plastic. | ||
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==Gallery== | ==Gallery== | ||
<center><gallery perrow= | <center><gallery perrow=4> | ||
Image:ETporn.jpg|A still from the movie. | Image:ETporn.jpg|A still from the movie. | ||
Image:ET Park.jpg|Concept-art for a sequel which never materialized. | Image:ET Park.jpg|Concept-art for a sequel which never materialized. | ||
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File:ET Atari Help.jpg|[[PROTIP]]S! | File:ET Atari Help.jpg|[[PROTIP]]S! | ||
File:NewETPorno.jpg|[[So cash]] | File:NewETPorno.jpg|[[So cash]] | ||
File:Fuck off Bin Laden.jpeg|Another (less well known) video game moment. | |||
</gallery></center> | </gallery></center> | ||
Latest revision as of 19:51, 23 December 2025
E.T. (The Extra Terrestrial) is a magical film about an alien, whos parents hate the fucking sight of him, so they do a "Maddie", dumping him on earth. He then goes on to befriend a young boy called Elliott, and engages in sexual activity with his mother and sister before fucking off home.
Merchandise
Creaming at the prospect of a Star Wars type franchise, Shlomo auctioned off E.T. to the highest bidder. As a result, there was nary a surface to be seen which didn't bear E.T.'s loveable visage. Rumor has it, that Michael Jackson paid $1M to spend a night alone with the puppet... and not even the cool mechanical one with a robotic mouth. E.T. didn't mind though, his asshole was already gaping due to the combined force of Senor Spielbergo and his associates.
The Infamous Atari Game
 |
Pioneering the now tedious tradition of releasing a shit computer game on the back of the success of a film, Spielberg & Co. decided to cash in on the fantastic potential of E.T. by selling the film rights to Atari. Unfortunately the game was so dire that what was forecast as Profit!!!!!11111 for the people at Atari, ended up in EPIC FAIL, with Atari being reported as "An heroed" Last Thursday. Then, like all American problems, the shady East took the fall and almost all copies of the game were taken to the Iraqi desert where Atari gifted the sacred land with trillions of tons of imperishable plastic.
The 5 Steps to Success
- Write a film featuring a main character with big eyes and a stupid voice.
- Spend $200 making said film.
- Sell everything, including your anus.
- ????
- Profit!
Gallery
See also
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E.T. is part of a series on Visit the Media Portal for complete coverage. |
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E.T. is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |