Academy Maniacs: Difference between revisions

Before [[Vladislav Roslyakov]] [[cultural appropriation|shamefully stole]] the well known [[American]] pastime of [[school shootings]], it was popular for disaffected [[Slav|Slavic]] [[Teenager|youths]] to [[pwn|merc]] old people with hammers. Artyom and Nikita were inspired by the [[shock site|shock video]], [[Dnepropetrovsk maniacs|3 Guys, 1 Hammer]] and tried to one up them... but [[epic fail|failed]] due to [[cringe|getting 15 less kills]] and even more shamefully, [[Pics or it didn't happen|not even recording their exploits]].

Now here below are all the incidents in chronological order. Just a heads-up, be prepared to see the phrase "but they survived" a lot.

*December 1, 2010

**They attacked another woman but but she survived, they shit their pants after some people spotted them so they took her bag and ran away. In the bag there was 500 rubles which they used to buy mallets.

**The same day, they knew they had to redeem themselves from that previous failure, so they saw a [[I'm 12 years old and what is this?|12-year-old boy]] Danil Semyonov, who went to their school. Semyonov was riding down a hill with his snow-scooter. Nikita, noticing the boy and immediately began [[fapping]]. Nikita beat him in the head with the mallet and when he fell, Artyom continued to beat him with a baseball bat, then Nikita stabbed a penknife into his head before they fled. The boy's [[mother]] and [[brother]] found him alive, but when they were taking him to the [[hospital]], they got stuck in traffic and he died in the car. The "experts" determined his death an accident despite the fact he had a hole in his skull.

*December 29, 2010

**They attacked Inessa Svetlova but she survived and they just took her bag, which they threw away.  

**The same day, they attacked a 22-year-old [[pregnant]] woman by smashing her skull and snapping her fingers, but she survived.

It should also be mentioned, there are HUNDREDS of fan girls obsessed with these two, around the same scale as there are [[Columbiners]] even. Prior to being disabled, there were over 1,400 digital flowers left on [https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/234573416/nikita_vakhtangovich-lytkin Nikita's Find a Grave memorial], all of them followed the same basic structure of them telling a person who doesn't even exist anymore about how much they love him and think about him and want to have sex with his rotting skeletal corpse. If you search them up on any social media platform, you will be met with more fan content romanticizing and glorifying the pair than actual things like news clips, true crime analyses or interviews.

In 2021, after spending 8 years in prison and realizing he ruined his life for no reason, Nikita [[an hero|an heroed]] in his jail cell by [[emo|slashing his wrists]]. Good for him I guess. He got nominated for the [[Golden iPod#2021|2021]] [[Golden iPod]], but lost to [[Lowtax]]. In 2024, Artyom got engaged whilst still in prison to a fan girl named Daphne, there is no hard post or page with dedicated information about the engagement so if you care enough about it, flick through [https://www.reddit.com/search/?q=artyom+AND+daphne these] Reddit results or do some own digging yourself. So if you are a [[lonely]] [[incel]] who fantasizes about [[going postal]], go right ahead! Because if you do, then there will be a chance that you will get thousands of fan girls and surely one will want marry you, just make sure to make yourself look somewhat presentable before you do it because if you are [[ugly|genuinely hideous]], then don't expect any fan mail to come through those cell bars.

{{Portals|gay|music}}