Zoo Tycoon

IT'S A FUCKIN' DINOSAUR, GET IN THE CAR!

Zoo Tycoon is a game presumably designed by and for 13-year-old boys with a dormant bestiality fetish, in which they design zoos and look after animals to fap over. Although the game itself is not that notable, the hysteria, multiple forums, and numerous Internet communities that have sprung up around it mean it is truly a golden trolling opportunity. "Zootycunts" are typically ugly, anthropophobic geeks who still live in their mom's basement and argue fervently amongst themselves about the physical aspects of animals and dinosaurs. Many are also disgusting weeaboo faggots who masturbate in their spare time to badly animated hentai and have cybersex in specially tailored Xat Chatrooms, Skype Groups, and Discord Channels.

Vidya Game

The name pretty much explains the whole game - you get a zoo and you enjoy the hawt animal breeding within it. Occasionally, some animal will get ill or such, but the difficulty of the game would be only suitable for a fetus. Of course, this is until you get the Dinosaur Digs expansion, which lets you to grow fucking dinosaurs, thus making the game 100% hardcore. Other fun activities include spawning an antelope in T. rex territory, not including a bathroom in your park, making every animal starve to death, and letting gorillas free from their exhibit.

Protip: After you get bored of the game and release all of the animals, use the water-tool to trap the fleeing people on islands with said animals. They run straight for the water and drown.

The Forums

Zoo Tycoon forums are typically populated with small, socially retarded communities of similarly ostracized geeks who band together to discuss game techniques, squabble about dinosaurs and bond. They all seem to bear a noticeable nerd hivemind that causes them to frequently spout memes taken from "Know Your Meme" and indulge in unfunny inside jokes. Many like to think of themselves as /b/tards simply because they can recite stale memes such as OVER 9,000, Rick Roll and Mudkipz. You can usually discover these festering shitholes by merely visiting http://w11.zetaboards.com/Z_T_V/index/.

Notable Zootycunts

Zooa's wrath!

• Zooa (also known as Akai) is an ugly weeaboo with greasy blond hair, severe acne, and watery blue eyes. He is known for being a pedophile, frequently cybering with underage anime fags, and being especially lulzy when trolled. He is an attention whore and has threatened to become an hero on multiple occasions. To get this faggot to go bat shit crazy, you simply have to insult either his beloved Zoo Tycoon creations or online lovers, and lulz will undoubtedly ensue. Zooa is also known for being a massive fag, and has reportedly even spent time online pretending to be a girl called “Kitty” (which was actually pretty pointless, as we all know that there are no girls on the Internet) to get boys to roleplay with him. Like all geeks, Zooa will go into a typical defensive mode of alternation between long, self-adulating statements and extreme aggression when butthurt, not seeming to realize that this does nothing to help his cause on the Internet.

• Spinosaurio (also known as Spino) is also a furfag who honestly believes that he is a Spinosaurus, makes shitty art of those who disagree, and spends most of his time being a lazy shit and making fun of people. Dissimilar to Zooa, he also goes off on long rants using unclever words but in entirely the right context. He is noted for his method of bullshit, often known as "Cyanide", and for ruining the "Mysterious Map Marvels, Co. Ltd" greeting card company when he got too assmad about being bullied, which has inspired many rival greeting card companies.

A stunner.

• Shaz, also known as Foxie or Alexis85, is arguably the most beautiful furfag in the world; with her lascivious curves, goddess-like appearance, and humble demeanor. Her gender is called into question due to the fact, there are no girls on the Internet. Shaz is known for entering many roleplay games about vampires and fathered an illegitimate son with Zooa named Zoes, who was later plunged into another universe by an alien named King Hoopla. Did we mention she's a furfag who openly admits to being a furfag? Also, It should be noted Shaz is Egyptian for "Gay"

• JVM is an attention whore from Illinois who claims to be from South Park. He is an ugly faggot who formerly constantly threatened to leave the community constantly, and now instead whores out his site, Zoo Tycoon Hideout, which is known as one of the worst websites ever created. He often engages in political debates with an extreme liberal attitude and is noted for never shutting the fuck up about South Park, which he faps to endlessly. He also has been trying to create a Pteranodon for five years, because he lacks the ability to leave the computer due to his fat. He also constantly makes Cold War analogies. He often calls on forums to add Teenage Forums so that he can write sex roleplay and fap to it.

• Omnomnomnjuiruriyin' (also known as Omniryujin or Incinerox) is also a furfag who honestly believes that he is a dragon, IP-bans those who disagree, and spends most of his time brooding or raging at people. Similarly to Zooa, he also goes off on long rants using clever words but in entirely the wrong context. He is noted for his method of banning, often known as "incinerating", and starting the "Mysterious Map Marvels, Co. Ltd" greeting card company with Zooa, which has inspired many rival greeting card companies.

• Ch0des are a group of shit eating cunts who don't do anything but whine and bitch bullshit about anyone whose not one of them. They also love yummy dicks.

Aurora Designs

Were you looking for Al-Qaeda?

Aurora Designs is a professional greeting card company that was started by Simbass, and ZooMaster on September 11th, 2001. They are known for stealing their designs from Blue Fang Games and leaving used condoms behind. They originally worked for "Mysterious Map Marvels, Co. Ltd" but realized they sucked ass at greeting cards and decided their talents were better suited to make anatomically-correct sex dolls. They got other designers in on the craze, only to tell everyone they were the only designers working and claim they are God. They are known for asking for honest critique, then yelling at people. They are believed to be closeted homosexuals, but keep it a secret from their parents due to their Christfag views.

Aurora Designs was hacked by a savior, but his efforts were thwarted and they have set their team up again with even more elitist views. They continue to criticize people and insist they are perfect because they think it will impress girls, again forgetting the rule that, once again, there are no girls on the Internet. Despite this, their work is still available right here.

Links

• Zoo Tycoon Forum
• Yet Another Zoo Tycoon Forum
• Cybersex Discord Channel
• Soopir sekrit cybersex channel

Zoo Tycoon is part of a series on Gaming Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

Zoo Tycoon is part of a series on Furfaggotry Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.