Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.

Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

User talk:Ivana Bezvodkina

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Welcome, Ivana Bezvodkina

This is serious. READ IT.

Before making your first article look over ED:101. If you don't, it is unlikely that your article will survive for more than sixty seconds and you risk being banned by ED Sysops.

We realize a lot of you are busy or may be new to ED, so here's just the most important info:

  • Read ED:101. Seriously. The information contained within is invaluable. Further tutorials of use can be found here.
  • To answer a message, reply on the user's talk page (Tab at the top that says 'discussion').
  • Sign your comments by using four tildes (like this ~~~~)
  • These are the sysops. If you have a problem, talk to them. They're here to help; we promise.
  • The TJC is the community portal. It's linked to from every page; just look at the top left of the page. Check it daily.
  • Use Special:Upload to upload pictures. Be sure to give them meaningful names. Also, do not upload any CP or Bestiality pr0n or you will be b&.
  • Feeling social? Enjoy forums? Join here.
  • See ED:HELP and ED:POLICY for everything else.

TKN Bot 05:12, 13 September 2012 (EDT)

My bad

Sorry for the misunderstanding. We just automatically consider new users who delete large amounts of text vandals. -Gray 05:34, 13 September 2012 (EDT)

- It's my mistake, I should've first explained it. I have a BA in military history, but currently the type of military history is more like military shitstory, so I'm just here to parody it on ED. I should've explained my edits on the talk page, before making them, so no worries. If you can, can you revert the article back to Hipcrime's Version? That's what I was trying to, (and failing to,) do :P Ivana Bezvodkina 05:48, 13 September 2012 (EDT)

The reverter is actually a bot runned by Meepsheep. I suggest you discuss any bugs to him. -Gray 05:52, 13 September 2012 (EDT)
Not really a bug, since, as you said, it was doing what it was supposed to do. I guess I'll try working around it. Ivana Bezvodkina 05:54, 13 September 2012 (EDT)
Stop the captcha? Sorry, I don't know. -Gray 06:11, 13 September 2012 (EDT)
It will stop after X edits and Y days when you're in the autoconfirmed group. Mike the Great (talk) 16:49, 13 September 2012 (EDT)

If you want to help, make things less boring. Not removing the hilarious pictures of russian soldiers sucking cock is a good place to start. ED is biting cynicism and we hate Russians just like we do Jews, Niggers, Whites, Mexicans, Haitians, Americans, Germans, and every other race/region ever. We strive for being as humorous as possible and that often requires not being a history major or Chilean and relying on knock knock jokes. I know literally nothing about the Russian Army, but I know they're a joke and full of homosexual pansies because this is ED and that's just how we do. Mike the Great (talk) 16:48, 13 September 2012 (EDT)

I hardly find pictures of men sucking cocks either insulting or hilarious, but if that's your thing, whatever, you're welcome to reinsert those pictures if have some sort of weird fetish for men sucking cocks, which explains the "Mike/NotGay" sig that you have. You're right, you know nothing about the Russian Army, and they might well be a joke to you, and that's fine according to ED's standards. What's not fine is the sheer stupidity that your revision demonstrated. I have nothing against trolling/insulting, etc, but I'm no fan of stupidity. When you say shit like "Russian Army never won a war since WWII" - that's like saying that 2+2=10. It's not funny, it's not witty, it's not trolling, it's just retarded. What makes it even more retarded, is that ED actually has an article on Russian Army winning a war in 2008, see South Ossetia so claiming otherwise is moronic, because 2008 is a bigger number than 1945, last time I checked. And I don't enjoy losing my brain cells to anything that's not alcohol, sex, or extreme sports. For instance when you troll Americans, you don't troll Americans for being shy, cause they're not fucking shy. You don't troll Germans for making cheap shit, cause they don't; even their gas chambers are efficient. Similarly, you don't troll a winning army for losing, as that's not trolling them. That's you, trolling yourself, and being too stupid to figure it out. Being retarded is not a path to being great at humor, unless you're making yourself the joke. Even Daniel Tosh, who treats his fans like shit, and gets away with it, has a shred knowledge and common sense as part of his jokes. Ivana Bezvodkina 23:40, 13 September 2012 (EDT)
   
“ 		 
I hardly find pictures of men sucking cocks either insulting or hilarious
  		„
  		 

Mike the Great (talk) 00:19, 14 September 2012 (EDT)

Mike the Great (talk) 00:31, 14 September 2012 (EDT)

Butterflies and cock sucking men... any other interests that you want to place on my talkpage? Ivana Bezvodkina 00:35, 14 September 2012 (EDT)
You forgot rainbows. Mike the Great (talk) 00:52, 14 September 2012 (EDT)
You must be really new here. Also
>Russian army
>Not diarrhea tier
>4 million dead Germans vs 10.5 million dead russians on the Eastern Front
>5/1 death/kill ratio on the Finnish Front
>defensive fucking war
ISHYGDDT. You're mad brah. Zyklon 01:08, 14 September 2012 (EDT)
My KDS isn't that high in tf2 ;~; Mike the Great (talk) 01:18, 14 September 2012 (EDT)
Against Germany, the military casualty ratio was roughly 2 to 1, mostly because of Stalin's purges, as in the later part of the war the ratio was more towards a 1 to 1 margin - for instance if we were to take Zaloga's numbers on Operation Bagration. Besides, who gives a shit about casualties - it matters who wins the war, not who kills more people and ends up getting pwnd. Against Finland, in the Continuation War, once again when the Red Army overcame Stalin's purges, the casualty ratio was 3 to 1, and the fighting casualty ratio was 2 to 1. Also, about Finland, I was pointing out the the Soviets won both wars, not that they had less casualties, so I found an article for ya to read: Strawman - enjoy! Ivana Bezvodkina 01:21, 14 September 2012 (EDT)
You say a lot of things. Mike the Great (talk) 01:22, 14 September 2012 (EDT)
Yes, I have this tendency to talk on my talkpage, weird, right? Ivana Bezvodkina 01:24, 14 September 2012 (EDT)
Fine then, let me rephrase that:
>Russian army
>Not diarrhea tier
>Polish–Soviet War - Lost
>Estonian–Soviet War - Lost
>Latvian–Soviet War - Lost
>Lithuanian–Soviet War - Lost
>four lost wars in less than two years
ISHYGDDT. There you go. Zyklon 01:32, 14 September 2012 (EDT)
You do realize that they were all part of the Russian Civil War, and that, once the Russians stopped fighting amongst themselves, they went on to conquer all of those four countries, or whatever was left to conquer of those four countries, within a few months, right? I should also point out that Poland has the "honor" of being partitioned out of existence, twice, and that the Baltic States, i.e. Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, have yet to be independent for more than 40 years. Your argument is basically saying "see, the boxer didn't knock out the flies while fighting the other boxer, the flies were so kick ass!" Ivana Bezvodkina 02:42, 14 September 2012 (EDT)
And now I can present you the strawman article. Lost is lost. Deal with it. If you look it at that way, Russia technically lost all wars it fought building the Soviet Union as in the end they managed to free themselves of Russian rule and become independent. The boxer lost in the last round, metaphorically. Also Russian army lost Japan-Russia war and failed to conquer Finland. Zyklon 02:47, 14 September 2012 (EDT)
I was arguing that Russia won the Continuation War, not that Russia was out to conquer Finland. What was that you were saying about strawmen? And although the Russians lost in 1905, the revenge forty years later was pretty fucking sweet. I agree, that while Russia was fighting a Civil War, they lost to the quartet that you mentioned. And I also know that a few decades later, Russia pwnd that very same quartet, when there was no longer a civil war. If we are to use the boxer metaphor, then, in the last round, some drunkard from the audience used a taser on the boxer. Ivana Bezvodkina 02:53, 14 September 2012 (EDT)
And I pointed out the Russian Army failed to conquer Finland in the Winter War. They wouldn't have had to fight Continuation War if they hadn't fucked it up the first time. "If we are to use the boxer metaphor, then, in the last round, some drunkard from the audience used a taser on the boxer" Precisely what happened with the Baltics. They lost, but regained their independence. Independence, pretty fucking sweet. Empire status = Destroyed. Russian jimmie status = rustled. Zyklon 02:58, 14 September 2012 (EDT)
Usually the winning side takes territory from the losing side. That's usually how wars work. After the Winter War, the Russians took land from the Finns. So they won the war. The Continuation War was started by the Finns, because they were butthurt over losing the Winter War. You do not actually need to conquer a country in order to achieve victory in warfare. Russia didn't conquer Georgia in 2008, and yet, even Wikidorkia is smart enough to realize that Russians actually won that war. As to the Baltics, they've gotten independence both times, because Russia was in chaos, though no accomplishment of their own. However, if they want to view that as an accomplishment - I encourage them to do so. Just don't expect an army, or those who study damn good armies, that can actually win, before their enemy is in total chaos, to admire those "amazing" military feats. Ivana Bezvodkina 05:42, 14 September 2012 (EDT)


Likewise, don't expect anyone to "admire" Russia "winning" the Winter War, when they actually failed to conquer Finland and a total military defeat was even theoretically impossible because of Red Army being bigger than the entire population of Finland. Same with Georgia.

I think we're about done here. Zyklon 06:10, 14 September 2012 (EDT)

Do you know how to sarcasm? Because you're kinda using the word "admire" sarcastically, so placing it in quotes is rather pointless, much like the rest of the points you made. Additionally, Russia won the Winter War, with or without zerg rush, and that's a fact, whether you like it or not. Russia only wanted land around Leningrad, so actually wasting resources conquering all of the "absolutely crucial" lapland next to Sweden's northern border was extraordinarily idiotic, and pointless, especially with Nazis on the borders, who were actually a decent threat. In terms of Georgia, that was a major Russian victory, where the Russians routed the Georgians in a matter of days, so even comparing that to Finland shows a lack of even the most elemental knowledge of military history. The difference between you and Mike is that Mike admits he knows nothing about Russian History, and you show your ignorance through your comments. Ivana Bezvodkina 18:23, 15 September 2012 (EDT)

hi

plz consider doing something constructive that way nobody will have a need/desire to harass you, did you ever think of that? ~Oblique 22:02, 15 September 2012 (EDT)

[1], [2] & [3]. You are a lovely human being.   Andrés    talk    contribs   22:03, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
Awww, you two should get a room ;) Ivana Bezvodkina 22:05, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
are you seriously that retarded? I am offering you good advice that I strongly suggest that you take. Take it or get the fuck out. ~Oblique 22:08, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
I already have sex with Oblique both privately and here. Thanks.   Andrés    talk    contribs   22:09, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
You're advice is for me to stop responding to trolling on my very own talkpage? That's not exactly intelligent advice. Someone comes here and trolls, and I respond. If you don't like it, you're welcome to leave the talkpage. Ivana Bezvodkina 22:11, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
 
“ 		 
YOU'RE ADVICE
  		„
 

—AYBABTU

His advice is for you to either leave or start changing your mind. Also, deleting every comment that makes you butthurt and then claiming they all are lolcows isn't "responding to trolling".   Andrés    talk    contribs   22:13, 15 September 2012 (EDT)

Well I can quite clearly see that the respond to everything and being a butthurt little faggot strategy is working extra well for you, ignoring it all couldn't possibly work now could it? ~Oblique
So you start a section on my talkage, saying "hi" and then want me to ignore you? Ok, sure, why not? Ivana Bezvodkina 22:26, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
You do realize that I'm doing more than just deleting comments I don't like, and calling you a lolcow, right? Ivana Bezvodkina 22:14, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
Still using the royal "we" I see. Ivana Bezvodkina 22:21, 15 September 2012 (EDT)

New section to break giant wall of text

Firstly, Ivana, let's make an important clarification. For the most part, facts are tertiary components of ED. A history degree offers nothing to contribute here, as factual history is of questionable interest and is undeniably unfunny. With regard to the Russian military, facts are all but irrelevant.

ED is about lulz, not shit no one cares about. If I might ask, why are you here? If you want to set the record straight, try something like Wikipedia. If the ED articles pertaining to your interests have made you butthurt... that means the EDiots involved have done their jobs.

No one cares about historical accuracy. Nope. No one. Not at all. VX BREATHE DEEP 22:06, 15 September 2012 (EDT)

I have no idea how the whole mess on my talkpage started, but if you'll notice, I wasn't the one who started it. People attempted to troll me, and I turned some of them into lolcows. I didn't realize how big memes were on ED, my mistake, so I won't touch anymore memes. Ivana Bezvodkina 22:09, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
We all (the established users who are actually someone) are lolcows, of course. Also, everything is important here, you already showed a complete lack of a capability to understand our esoteric homour, please leave.   Andrés    talk    contribs   22:11, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
Your esoteric humor involves you going "oh noes, GTFO, but I'll still be posting on your talkpage, but GTFO!" That sounds more like a confused kid, than like esoteric humor. Ivana Bezvodkina 22:13, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
We all are idiots and confused kids that like penises and huge faggy images. Learn your place.   Andrés    talk    contribs   22:14, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
Are you using the royal "we" now? Ivana Bezvodkina 22:15, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
I can count at least 3 people in less than 4 seconds, so yes. That implies a "we".   Andrés    talk    contribs   22:17, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
I have no interest in the mess of comments above. I speak of your presumed intentions.
 
“ 		 
If there's a military history article out there, somewhere, that you want me to look at, hit me up.
  		„
 

—Ivana

ED is not concerned with military history. ED wants offensive humor. Pulling blatant lies out of one's ass is an integral part of article creation. VX BREATHE DEEP 22:18, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
Fair enough, I've removed that. I guess that sounded too nerdy for ED, you're right, my mistake. Ivana Bezvodkina 22:20, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
[4], "sounding too nerdy for ED"? You don't get the point, don't you?   Andrés    talk    contribs   22:21, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
Damn dude, you sound really mad. Take a chill pill or something. Ivana Bezvodkina 22:23, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
His point was that historical accuracy doesn't matter on ED. I removed the part from my talkpage stating otherwise. Any intelligent lifeform would thus be able to comprehend that I gotz da meaningz! Ivana Bezvodkina 22:24, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
Did it ever occur to you that I no longer care about the meaningz you send? Ivana Bezvodkina 22:31, 15 September 2012 (EDT)
Only if you're using the royal we ;) Ivana Bezvodkina 22:35, 15 September 2012 (EDT)

B&

Because you didn't get the message before, we will do this the hard way. Enjoy your month off! ~Oblique 22:39, 15 September 2012 (EDT)

Holy fuck is it the fifteenth already? I've got to quit spending my days inebriated. Mike the Great (talk) 01:46, 16 September 2012 (EDT)
Retrieved from "http://edramatica.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Ivana_Bezvodkina&oldid=647257"