User:Zombiejam/Matthew Faulkner

Matthew Faulkner, AKA Mattmew, AKA Matt the Tiger, AKA White Crest is a brony and furry faggot. As you might have already guessed, he likes to make self insert "original characters" for series that are already pretty shitty.

He has been stupid enough to trace popular art and post it as his own characters. He has gotten caught on two instances on FA, but has made a new account. Matt continues to deny ever tracing.

Life

Matt is a fucking ginger kid in real life and therefore is not even a respectable living organism to begin with. He comes from the south and even his biological parents didn't want him. It might have been a premonition for future faggotry that Matt would grow up to become. Or it might have just been Matt's mother couldn't keep her legs shut and couldn't support 10+ fucking parasites. Never the less, Matt was somehow scooped up (along with two of his brothers) by a bat shit crazy couple that eventually moved to Texas.

This is what Matt's dad did to him at a young age.

Matt has two older brothers that are not gingers and turned out to be decent members of society, often ignoring Matt's bullshit. The adoptive father tried to get Matt to stop drawing shit while growing up, probably to save everyone's sanity. But no, little Matty soldiered on and created horrible abominations from Mega Man and Sonic. In high school, he got busted for checking out Mega Man porn in the school's computer lab, probably furiously jacking off to under aged girls and robots. It was also during his high school days that Matt dated a mentally retarded girl and couldn't even get some from her. In fact, she ended up dumping his ass.

Sadly, even this innocent kitten later dropped dead after posing on Matt's shoulder.

Matt's family soon made him attend college and he thought it'd be a good idea to major in art and made his professors cringe and weep as the faggot still drew horrible weebish shit. For attention, Matt wanted to try out being gay for awhile. Reportedly, some horny guy agreed to fuck Matt. They lacked any lubrication so they thought it'd be okay to use hair conditioner. You may want to know that Matt has terrible hygiene and showers maybe once every two weeks. The conditioner and shit streaks weren't enough lubrication to keep from Matt's asshole being completely annihilated. How the other guy was able to keep a boner is still a mystery.

Like most sick fucks, Matt wants an animal dildo from Bad Dragon. But since he's a poor fuck, he decided to use his amazing skills as an artist to try to make his own. He made a dildo, specifically, a water dragon dildo out of clay because no one wants to fuck a shitty asshole that reeks of garlic.

One tragic day, Matt's adoptive father had a heart attack and died. He might have seen some of his son's disgusting art and dildos which automatically made him stop living. Matt was already failing college and eventually dropped out. His adoptive mother got a shit load of life insurance money after her husband died and moved with her adult sons to Mississippi or Tennessee or some other red neck state. Mommy soon got a new man and wasted all the money on bullshit because she's a disgusting hoarder.

Matt moved back to Texas with his brothers and had to mooch off of them for awhile. When they got tired of his bullshit, he was handed down to his grandparents. Matt somehow acquired to snag an elementary substitute teacher job in Huntsville, Texas, even though he flunked out of college. Texas has very low standards. The fact that someone as fucked up as Matt is around children is pretty scary. He probably argues with them about who is best pony.

DeviantART

Matt doesn't take well to trolling on his DA. In fact, he doesn't even like critiques. He will retort with some sassy bullshit, sometimes even bursting with U MAD BRO and other idiotic shit. He then blocks the user before they can respond and hides all the hate. He has disabled comments on all his DA submissions.

Mattmew is an original character self insert that is supposed to be a Pokemon and somehow Mewtwo and Mew's offspring. He is all powerful and all sexy because he is Matt. Matt the Tiger is pretty straightforward; it's Matt as an anthro tiger fag. He used to have an image of a nude photo of himself next to Matt the Tiger for the sassy comparison on his FA account, but took it down. He also has several male pony inserts, but who cares.

Tumblr

I demand respect.

Matt attempted to join tumblr and made a handful of gay furry ask blogs where readers would submit questions and he would draw horrible replies. He was quickly trolled and shut down his blogs. However, he has recently made two new tumblr blogs. One is a boring gallery of shit he's drawn and the other consists of a fantasy blog about living with his gay boyfriend. This is all fake because Matt has no money and no one wants to date him. Matt's self insert is some dinosaur thing in panties.

“	so from now on, ANYONE who tries to ask me a question on my tumblr DAMNED WELL BETTER READ THE FUCKING RULES FIRST.... i'm getting tired of people trying to make self inserts, ask for rape, or ask me "how much"... it's insulting, degrading and a waste of my time.	„
—Matt on his tumblr trolls

External Links

Email: [email protected]
MSN: [email protected]

Matthew Faulkner on DeviantART
Matthew Faulkner on FurAffinity
Matthew Faulkner on Tumblr | Gallery
Matthew Faulkner on Tumblr | Ask blog
Matthew Faulkner on Ink Bunny
Matthew Faulkner on e621