Tim Couch

Your tax dollars at work, Kentucky.

Tim Couch (R-Hyden) is a Kentucky state representative from the 90th district and NFL quarterback failure who wants to destroy Anonymous.

Anonymous must be stopped

Elected politicians often keep letters from black person demanding an end to fluoridation or a ban on selling donuts on Sunday. Whenever the representative thinks it's time to look busy, he or she writes up a bullshit proposal based on one of these letters, which makes them look like they listen to their constituents.

Rep. Couch, having heard from his constituency that bulling is rabbit on the internets, decided to take action. His bill, HB775, would make posting anonymously on the internet illegal. All users would be required to give their full name and address to any website on which they wanted to post, and their names would be displayed on every post they made. Websites which allowed anonymous posting would be fined over 9000 dollars.

Character Analysis

People like Rep. Couch, who read a news story once about "cyber-bullying" and decided they knew something about the internets, are usually the same people who believe that evil magical hacromancers can steal your identity through a payphone when your computer is unplugged. One would expect these people to be ultra-protective of their privacy on the internet, lest hackers on steroids corrupt their lulz, but apparently Rep. Couch thinks he's immune because he doesn't go on those "cyber-bully" websites.

The Bill

Rep. Couch's bill hides its real information in jargon. Fortunately a translation (and an accurate one at that) is available.

1. A website shall establish, maintain, and enforce a policy to require visitors to register a legal name, address, and valid electronic mail address as a precondition of using the web site.
2. A website shall establish, maintain, and enforce a policy to require visitors to be conspicuously identified with all information provided by, at a minimum, their registered legal name.
3. A website shall establish reasonable procedures to enable any person to request and obtain disclosure of the legal name, address, and valid electronic mail address of any visitorr who posts false or defamatory information about the person.

TL;DR Version:

Any server in Kentucky, domain registered in Kentucky, user from Kentucky or traffic passing through Kentucky (and possibly even sites with traffic from Kentucky) are bound to dox its users by law.

External links

• His official KY state website
• His comments page -- Let him know what you think! Go ahead and use your real name and address when you email him so he knows you're a real person, giving him your real address will allow him to send you replies in snail mail, you can also email him as anon but he will not reply to these and might not even read them. Ask him why he hates America and the Bill of Rights. Make sure he understand that shit like this hurts his hopes at reelection.
• Local news story
• Posted on Slashdot Bot mishap.