Tay Allyn

The wannabee female singer of the year goes to Tay Allyn with her absolutely terrible song, "Mass Text."

Tay herself is a 23 year old recent college graduate from the USC School of Theatre and Music. She has proclaimed that she wants to revitalize the pop industry by making "pop songs about your normal everyday life, to hot beats." Translated, she means that she wants to make the industry even more watered down with senselessly repetitive lyrics, to sounds that are almost as annoying as her voice. Also she states something along the lines of not being a whore like Ke$ha and is not pushing any boundaries like Lady Gaga. Her style tends to be dull and creepy at best.

Now the song, "Mass Text," seems like it may be ok for the first few seconds until the beast is released. She starts out by creepily staring into the camera repeating the lines, "Why didn't I get your mass text? I'm in your contacts." Now to be honest, there is a quick zoom in shot during this part that actually made me laugh out loud because how uncomfortable it is. The only thing more annoying than that background music is her voice. Simply put, she cannot sing. When you thought it wasn't creepy enough she gives this awkward expression while rocking a doll which adds something to the song...I think? Any sane person would end the video here, and you wouldn't be missing anything. The basic plot is she likes a guy who is sending mass texts, and then she writes this song and then performs it in front of everyone. The only point at which the song has any sort of flare to it is when she references the crap grammar of the guy she texts. The way she says it though just screams pretentious bitch. The creepiest part of the video for me personally is at 2:07 when she looks exactly like my mother. The resemblance is uncanny. (I have finished my rage so others can add what they like).