Rottensick

Uh, you're supposed to sing into the other end.

Sara Zane (AKA rottensick) is the internet punk rockers' answer to Paris Hilton, but without the fame, drug tolerance or intelligence. What we have left is a spoiled and emaciated rich girl who spends her days in the safe confines of her apartment. Online shopping and playing Second Life are the only joys she can find in a life ravaged by a long list of mental illnesses - illnesses she freely glorifies to garner sympathy from OL idiots. (see also: Melodrama)

Brutally beaten and traumatized by the woes of not having to work and getting any material possession she desires; dear reader, I simply cannot fathom coping with the hardships she's endured.

Daddy Complex

At the age of five, Sara's mother ran her father away with her own brand of psychotic bullshit. Ever so tragically, he left her with more money than you or I will probably ever see or make in a life time. This abandonment left poor little rottensick with an unquenchable need for male attention. Sara collects a boyfriend to represent every city she moves to. Her crippling co-dependence leaves her unable to leave her home without a male chaperon. Coupled with an ever present need for validation, solitude for her is sheer torment.

Her mother, wanting to keep her out of her hair (because apparently, even crazy old gold diggers have their limits) she eagerly sets her up in an apartment wherever she wants to go. Once she's finished burning her bridges, talking shit about people behind their back, and generally getting on everyones nerves, she ups and moves onto a different town to begin her clownish adventures anew.

The Artist

rottensick claims herself to be an artist, musician and photographer. All of these things, however, seem to have been miscommunicated to her as:

• Scribbling bullshit anime characters.
• Simply owning a guitar.
• Being an average, everyday tourist with photoshop.

Sadly, no one's taken her seriously enough to correct these misconceptions.

The Urn

We all experience tragedy in our life. Some of us just exploit it better than others.

Being a pilled up rich girl who has never had a want or need is tough. A testament to this life of pain is her "daughters ashes" that she keeps in an urn. Her daughter being a cat named Alita that she only had for two years. Alita was named after some stupid anime character that noone gives a shit about and who probably died as an hero to escape her childish idiocy. Unlike a normal person who would have simply gotten a shoe box and a shovel, Rottensick instead had her precious Alita cremated so as to have evidence of her horrendous loss. Evidence that she will talk about IN DEPTH to anyone stupid enough to listen.

Med-Whoring

Rottensick is CRAAAAAZY and she wants the whole wide world to know it! Here's a detailed list of her rise to becoming a pilled up old rich bitch: Like mother like daughter. The publisher's snark is in bold, heh, not that it's even necessary considering the laughable nature of the quotes themselves.

• "ZOLOFT: Ah...my first depression medication from when I was 17. Memmmmmories."

Know what rhymes with memmmmmories? Draammmaaaaa Quuueeeen.

"This stuff is bullshit. All it did was make me feel like a zombie. That of course made me just feel even more depressed than before. I lost my wallet on Zoloft. The FBI sent it back to me. Don't ask. Long story."

A long story that anyone who values their brain cells will not care to hear.

• "PAXIL CR: I took this for a while but then it was taken off the market because the people making it at the factory in Indonesia or wherever were fucking up the dosages or mixing it up with diabetes medicine. FANTASTIC! Probably explains why I ended up running away to Hollywood and living in a hostel out of nowhere."

A "hostel" that was 700.00+ a month to live in, which of course mommy paid for. Ohhhhhh how spontaneous, how daring, how dangerous.

• "ABILIFY: Stupid schizophrenia medicine. Worthless. This shit made me feel like my skeleton was trying to jump out of my skin. I cannot even begin to describe the level of discomfort that caused. Fuck it, I'd rather just be crazy than take that shit again."

• "PAXIL: Worst medication ever. Hands down.

Take it if you want to get lethargic, overweight, and kill yourself. Oh yeah, and sex drive? Forget ALL about that shit. Might as well go take a year off from life and go play World of Warcraft while you are at it...oh, wait..."

• "WELLBUTRIN: Haha, this did jack shit for me. But wait! It made me quit smoking! Of course, as soon as I got off it I went right back to smoking."

Yes, because clove cigarettes are known for their extremely addictive ingredients.

"When I got switched to Effexor my mom went to Walgreen's to pick up my prescription about half a year ago. For some reason they fucked up and gave her a bottle of Wellbutrin. (???) We can't take it back, either. So, hey, if anyone wants to quit smoking..."

• "PROZAC: What...? This didn't do ANYTHING. It works for Peter Steele and my ex fiance but not for me."

Sorry, I'd have something witty to say if I wasn't cackling from her mention of Peter Steele.

• "EFFEXOR XR: So far, this medication has worked best for me. I have been taking it for almost a year now. The only thing bad about it is if I miss a day. That happened the day when my mother went to go pick up the prescription and those asshats gave me the bottle of Wellbutrin instead. If I miss a day of this I turn into a fucking MONSTER. Me without my meds is a very scary thing. I flip my fucking shit and take it out on the whole world. I hate when that happens."

Grow the fuck up.

"If I take my Effexor late in the day sometimes I mildly flip out, have panic attacks, or just burst out crying like a little girl who skinned her knee. But if I take it every morning when I wake up I can function like a normal human being."

Yes, if normal human beings didn't have to work for a living, were frightened to leave their home, had severe daddy abandonment issues, and had absolutely no-fucking-clue what real life was all about.

"The only other occasional side effect of Effexor is it can make people feel REALLY fucking suicidal. So, I apologize in advance if I go off ranting about killing myself. It was probably a bad day and I probably forgot to take the pill up until something like 8pm."

Please, God, someone do the world a favor and take this bitches meds away then.

"Sleep disorder meds:

AMBIEN: Ambien is like the new Absinthe for artists. Want creativity? Go pop and Ambien and don't bother going to bed. You will stay up all night writing the most bizarre shit of your life. Or go play with Adobe Photoshop while you are on it. Oooooh, the colors! :D Just remember, Ambien gives you horrendous amnesia. You will wake up feeling confused and that certain feeling of dread will wash over you. "Oh god, what did I do last night?"

But hey, if you take it as you are supposed to just remember to hop into bed immediately. You will wake up 8 hours later and actually have energy to do things that day.

LUNESTA: Absolutely useless. Didn't help at all.

SEROQUEL: This is actually an anti-psychotic, much like Abilify. In low dosages, it is to help people sleep. Oh,...it will help you sleep alright...for about 17 hours straight! You will feel drained and tired after it wears off, too.

I am not even going to bother getting into all the birth controls I have switched around from. I dont even know why I still take this shit, apparently my last blood test a year ago said I was no longer anemic. Who knows."

And who cares.

Some More lulworthy Quotes From Miss. Rottensick

• "I was sitting there at this Italian restaurant, and out of nowhere it suddenly dawned on me--I'm the reincarnation of Isis--The mother of everything."

• "I'd probably still be with Ryan if he hadn't gotten so fat."

• "Want to see pictures of my cats?"

• "I HATED staying at Luca and Christine's place. They'd wake up at 5:00AM to get ready for work and they'd be making SO much noise. And it's like, God, I'm trying to sleep here!"

• "My Mom does whatever I tell her to do!"

• "Want to see pictures of my cats?"

• "I started suffering clinical depression at the age of ten."

• "Want to see pictures of my cats?"

• "I woke up and saw the Grim Reaper in the hallway. And he was smiling at me!"

External Links

• Rottensick.net - Her "photography".
• Her LiveJournal - This consists mostly of stupid shit she finds on the internets, pity me stories about how terrible her life is, what she's bought recently, and pictures of cats.
• Her Myspace - (Baleeted)
• Alita's Urn - Online shrine to Sara's dearly departed pet. (Baleeted)
• Beefcakeoioioi - Live Journal dedicated to her new cat, Beefcake, and mentions the six other cats that have died under her care.

Rottensick is part of a series on Whores Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.