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Poopfist

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Poopfist without a doubt, is the most hardcore, yet thought provoking and insightful, metal band of this generation. Their amazing lyrics, state of the art sound, and incredible edge put them as one of the objectively best metal bands in existence. The anger, yet high intelligence of frontman Charlie McRapekit, and the amazing musicianship of lead guitarist Baron Gunther von Prolapse are a perfect balance of fury, wisdom, and epic guitar solos. Their Billboard #1 song "Cemetary Rape" is regarded as not only the best metal song in existence, but also as having the greatest guitar solo ever, including amazing lyrics about a satanist gravedigger who was able to achieve his dreams, of wearing black pants, and skullfucking someone.

Humble Beginnings

Poopfist began as a project between two majors in music, Charlie McRapekit and Baron Gunther von Prolapse, who were, at the time, part of a hardcore band called Poop Bucket. Sadly, their lead frontman, Lube Cock, died of AIDS after skullfucking his grandma. Tragedy struck again, when the bassist, Cunt Putnam, a known diabetic, died of a heart attack the following day. Baron Gunther and Charlie were horrified at the deaths of their good friends (and butt buddies), and formed Poopfist, with the name and their following album 'Fagtown' dedicated to their memories.

Recruiting and Fagtown

After a period of mourning and church burning, Poopfist went to go get new band members. Charlie was able to convince his old friend Anal Samuelson to get on rhythm guitar, and Charlie took on bass duties. It was hard for them to find a drummer, but when they did, they had the perfect drummer. He went by the name of Mikey Bloat, and while he suffered from severe aspergers, and was obviously autistic too, he was a great drummer, and made the other members strive to do their best, because no one wants to be worse in anything than an autistic fatass.

After recruiting new members, Poopfist went on to record their landmark debut album Fagtown. Skip months later after hard labor and dedication, Fagtown was released to an eagerly expecting public. They weren't dissapointed. Fagtown charted at #1 on the Billboard for months, and also received rave reviews, to quote some:

   
 
Fagtown, admist all of the pretentious and overblown black metal albums nowadays, stands out as an album that can captivate, as well as keeping the listeners in for the epic 2 hours it spans.
 

 
 

—Piero Scaruffi, seasoned music critic

   
 
I love poop, which makes this album great, good album.
 

 
 

—Robert Christgau, Dean of American Critics

   
 
Poopfist delivers a very moral and clean message in this epic metal album, a great way to introduce your kids to metal
 

 
 

—Commonsensemedia., doing it right for once

Though all things must come to an end...

A Sampling of Fagtown

Decline

Poopfist began their Fagtown tour to rave reviews, with their onstage antics of mutilation, rape, audience harassment, and scat porn making their amazing performances more... amazing! Though, on the fateful night of April 20, 2010, Poopfist had plans to burn down the local church, but they decided the first to go to the bar and fuck shit up. While admist all the chaos, Charlie had overdosed on heroin to the band's dismay, and they decided they couldn't live without each other. They dragged his corpse to the inside of the church, and lit it on fire immolating themselves, and the priest molesting the little boy behind the altar. A truly tragic tale.

See Also

External Links

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