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Naruyamcha
Naruyamcha is a member of Narutofan forums. His life is a tale of anguish, rejection and misogyny. He is well known for being an emo par excellence, weirdly avid sports fan, transparent suck-up as well as many other unflattering epithets. His sheer hopelessness cannot be fully fathomed unless you have interacted with him.
Naru hates it when people get laid more often than he does.
Naruyamcha In A Nutshell
Naruyamcha starts off in his interaction with people as being generally friendly and pandering. However, this is almost always subject to change.
If the interactee in question is female, he will invariably "fall in love" with her. This love may or may not be affection as opposed to a bid to get into the girl's e-pants, but regardless, this 'love' is always very, very creepy. Naru begins to make unwelcome sexual advances and requests for pictures. His clumsy double entendres and generally stalkerish mannerisms are usually rejected with tact by the girl, but this will not deter him from making more.
More lulz ensue when the object of his affections has a boyfriend. In this case Naru will try to pretend that this boyfriend either does not exist, or make various painful 'slips' when referring to him. This happens IN ALL CASES.
- <naruyamcha> the best *coughworstcough* thing is here
- <naruyamcha> her lose..... I mean, e-bf
Naru somehow thinks this is very smart and funny.
In addition to this, Naru is an incredibly gullible person, becoming easily-fooled by anyone of the female gender. Numerous times as he been tricked by women that tell him intimate details, such as their masturbation habits, to arouse him and get his hopes up shortly before shooting him down.
Several times, Naruyamcha has been caught making sexual advances to minors, in ways such as telling a fifteen year-old girl (fourteen at the time) that he loved how wide her hips are. He has also attempted to force himself upon a seventeen year-old through the internet, several times having attempted to e-rape the young girl. This is all between his constant pestering of naked photographs of said women. At twenty-eight years of age, the man knows no boundaries to his sexual harassment.
The Penis Incident
Very much self-explanatory - Naruyamcha posts a picture of his penis in the Sexy Pictures thread on NF. The masses' response to this utter horror was that of unanimous Dismay. Several people even commented that his penis looked diseased. It has been compared to a likeness of a shriveled, half-eaten mushroom. Naruyamcha, sensing that the girls weren't falling over their heels to impale themselves on his diseased dick, removed the picture, and lied, stating that the picture was his brother's penis.
Please read the second-last sentence again. His brother's penis.
Naruyamcha Gets /b/
Due to the massive lulz that Naruyamcha drags around with him like a shit-soaked blanket, a member of #narutofan IRC channel impersonated him on /b/, with explosive, quasi-legendary results. These screen-shots were taken by the very person who performed this, influenced by several other members of the #narutofan IRC channel, and spread them through the channel quickly.
The thread in /b/ lasted three and a half hours and became, for a brief moment, epic in the NarutoFan Forums, where people would post topics on it and ask if it was the real Naru that was doing all of this. All attempts at clarification were crushed by the mods and admins of the forum, due to the whining complaints of Naru. After this event, Naru threatened several parties that were involved before claiming that the pictures were of his cousin and that he would wait in fear of being beaten to a bloody pulp.
Naruyamcha's Disappearance
Only minutes after the /b/ incident, Naru immediately began to place blame on everyone he once considered a friend, in spite of the fact that there were none that thought of him the same way. In a frenzy, he damned everyone and rushed from the IRC channel #narutofag, subsequently leaving #narutofan as well. This was shortly after he claimed that the pictures that were posted of him were actually of his cousin. He also stated that he was going to wait in fear until his cousin comes home and beats him to a bloody pulp. Several moments afterwards, he claimed he heard his cousin coming home and immediately logged off, only to return minutes later. Once again, he condemned everyone in the channel and left. He has not been seen on IRC since, and it was rumored that he had killed himself, however several people have spoken to him on the MSN Messenger service.
Naruyamcha's Recent Activity
Despite being chased from the #narutofan and #narutofag IRC channels, Naruyamcha has continued his sexual advances on women all over the internet. Here are several examples of what Naruyamcha has been doing in the past week alone.
- "INO-CHAN!! Let's masturbate together, K? EDIT: So you DO have a webcam!! O:"
- "Prove it! :D Get on MSN and webcam and lemme see and hear ya. "
- "*hugs Noushie* How's you? *gropes Ino like no tomorrow*"
As of recently, Naruyamcha has supposedly resulted to injuring himself, and possibly attempted suicide. Whether these are simple cries for attention or serious attempts have yet to be determined. The following evidence of Naruyamcha's attempts to become an hero was provided in the #narutofan IRC chatroom at 10:00pm EST, on June 23rd of 2007. The other party's name has been blocked out for anonymity and safety purposes.
- Mario - About to vomit my fucking guts out, I wonder why....? säger:
guess what I did
- ---:
fapped ?
- Mario - About to vomit my fucking guts out, I wonder why....? säger:
screw you
- Mario - About to vomit my fucking guts out, I wonder why....? säger:
cut!!
- ---:
cut cut ?
- Mario - About to vomit my fucking guts out, I wonder why....? säger:
I didn't use my razors to shave this time
- ---:
your nails ?
- Mario - About to vomit my fucking guts out, I wonder why....? säger:
goodbye
- ---:
bye
- Mario - About to vomit my fucking guts out, I wonder why....? säger:
and tell harley she can go kill herself
- ---:
lmao
This entry has also been seen within the last few days, further insinuating Naruyamcha's attempts to harm himself in anyway possible, through physical means and become an hero. Yet again, it is unknown if any of this has been seriously attempted or if they were simply words spoken by a desperate man on a keyboard.
- "Ugh... I just finished throwing up in the bathroom. Never knew I could vomit blood just by jealousy alone, even though it was all in 'good fun'"
Although the /b/ incident (or "The Mario /b/ Plot" as it has been called, dubbed such for the fact of "Mario" being Naruyamcha's real name) was an attempt at getting the pedophile-stalker to realize the error of his ways, it seems to have had no adverse effects upon him. Even to this day, he continues his assault of women all over the internet (or at least those limited to anime web forums), with no end in sight, in spite of his attempts to supposedly become an hero.
Naruyamcha In 2008
As of recently, Naruyamcha has kept activity in the Blender at NarutoForums among other places. It seems that his womanly-hating ways have changed very little - although more vocal, his style has been tamed somewhat. The seething rage is still quite evident, however. Most recently, an anonymous NarutoForum member has made a Legendary Statistics Card for Naruyamcha. It is believed that this is an accurate representation of Naruyamcha and all he stands for.
In recent times Naruyamcha has shown an affinity to the art of licking the ass hole of the female. Also known as rimming, analingus or in more colloquially 'the rim job'. He tried to do this on MSN with a declared lesbian who despite telling repeatedly that her girlfriend would not approve, he still expressed his great and genuine desire to 'lick her hot white ass hole'. This conversation was subsequently forwarded to a friend of hers and upon being posted on NarutoForums, many lulz were had.