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Nalts

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God according to Nalts

Kevin Nalty is a paranoid vlogger who posts super shitty videos as “Nalts,” looks like an even gayer ripoff of Bob Saget, and has more than 500 700 800 extremely annoying short clips polluting the internets. According to Nalts his videos have been viewed over 9000 million times, and have been featured on such sites as YouTube, Google Video, LiveVideo, Yahoo Video, Break, PornTube, Metacafé, LiveLeak, Xtube, SexTube, GayTube, FistTube, and Revver. Many refer to him as “the new GayGod,” and Nalts really seems to like the title. According to Nalts, his videos been have on CNN, ABC Nightline, Spice, Fox, LOGO, PrideTv Palm Springs, BET, and CBS News. In addition to creating crappy videos, he covers the industry in this blog and as a writer for The Daily Reel. He also speaks at industry events to help video creators learn how to monetize their work, and trick advertisers into giving their money away.

Nalts is a tragic figure. Although most on ED would still accuse him of attention seeking, his earliest material did show signs of both artistic integrity, and genuine ability. As a result of the As One gathering, however, Smpfilms and boh3m3 gradually led him to the Dark Side, where money, narcissistic supply, and the all important view count became more important than creativity, and really inspiring people, or otherwise affecting them emotionally in a positive way. His subsequent material went from being low key, and focused on the actual content, to much louder and more extroverted, and clearly oriented towards maximising viewcount as much as possible.

PRO-TIP: Be sure to hide your kids, unless you want them to be exploited for profit.

Trivia

Nalts butt fucks a cigarette (remember this guy WORKS in health care)
Nalts smokes because it's cool, man
  • Kevin has a gay lisp, and is overweight
  • Nalts entire family uploads video clips to the internet because attention whoring is genetic.
  • Nalts often films with kids to help boost video ratings and to exploit cheap talent.
  • Nalts lives near both Pennsylvania and New Jersey where he enjoys funnel cake enemas
  • Nalts claims to work in Health Care, but more likely sells Amway.
  • Kevin is rumored to be having an online gay relationship with his idol Renetto and MrSafety's cat Sparta.
  • Despite his videos’ low production value, Nalts has a background in video production and television. He attended Georgetown University, and Babson for an MBA *in entrepreneurship. He failed computer science in undergrad.
  • Kevin's forehead is so large it is registered with the Civil Aviation Authority as a potential airspace hazard. It has also been featured on the Homeland *Security watchlist of potential terrorist targets.
  • Nalts is friends with Victor Gimmeabreakman, which is frankly sad and scary.
  • Nalts' self esteem is so shaped by critics that he's known to edit his own Encyclopedia Dramatica entry.

Kevin Nalts Gives A Shout To EDiots

Nalts explains why alcohol is good for Health Care
   
“ 		 
Maybe I need to edit this Nalts listing on Encyclopedia Dramatica I just discovered last night.
  		„
  		 

—Nalts dreams about becoming a revisionist. DREAM ON BROTHER, dream on...

   
“ 		 
Will you accept a bribe to remove the photos of me smoking from my entry? Bad example for the kiddies. My fault I know. But did you know the press corp for Kennedy used to embargo his secrets? Ahhhh the good old days of controlable media
  		„
  		 

—Nalts message left on ED user page of weatherman

Far_From_Viral_Video_History

Daddy, why did put a picture of me picking my nose on the internets?
"My kids haven't given me enough in life so I thought I'd make a buck or two back off 'em!"
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