NAAFA

Dangerous NAAFA militants. NAAFA members have now infiltrated every part of USAn society.

NAAFA, the National Association of Ashamed Fatfucks Anonymous, is an organization that was founded in the early 20th century to aid fat people (mainly very fat people) in gaining political power so that one day they could commit genocide upon skinny people and take over the world. Many believe the organization to be an equal rights organization, but that is entirely untrue. Fats have had equal rights since 1790 during the War of Dildos, when revenue from excessive consumption was needed to continue the war effort.

The NAAFA was founded by a man named Ali Baba Sharp-a-ton, a fat extremist with a deep hatred for steamed vegetables and Jews. Ali Baba Sharp-a-ton and his fat extremist militant friends believed that this organization would bring in the money that would be needed in toppling the governments of the world and exterminating skinny Jews.

This plan turned out to be untrue, but when the United States government began sending welfare checks to poor fats who were too lazy to work, the Ali Baba Sharp-a-ton saw that if every fat receiving welfare sent $30 a month to the NAAFA, they would soon have enough money to begin their massive crusade. But in 1972, the President of the United States Tricky Dick had beaten the NAAFA to it. Tricky Dick sent American troops to Africa and fighting soon began. The war was over by 1977, but only because massive attacks from European countries brought the United States to an agreement to end the war. Tricky Dick and his wife both committed suicide shortly after signing the truce. Ali Baba Sharp-a-ton also died in 1977 from grief that someone had beaten him to striking the famine-ridden continent. A close friend and fellow fat militant named Fat Albert took his place. Fat Albert had "a" affinity for Jello Pudding Pops.

In 1992, a fat drunk driver led police on a two hour long car chase through Los Angeles. When the driver finally stopped, the police gave him a well deserved beating. Unluckily, rotund Japanese tourists recorded the beating in a recon mission and alerted Fat Albert. After viewing the beating, Fat Albert had sex with his favorite hippo and ordered all fats in LA to lay seige to the city. Eventually, all of the fats lost weight after all fried chicken restaurants discontinued service in LA. Without the obesity necessary to maintain their group identity, the LA fats dispersed.

Up until today, the NAAFA has generated over 100 trillion dollars from welfare, disability insurance and celebrity donations, and have gathered a massive stockpile of Twinkies.