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My Tank is Fight
—Eotl | ||
—Eotl | ||
One of the shitty writers from Something Awful wrote a satirical book on World War II that is really RANDOM HAHAHAHA.
Because it's not selling on Amazon, Something Awful repeatedly advertises on the main page, to little effect, due to all goons being rendered broke buying themselves whacky custom titles every week. Though it does have a high Amazon rating, thanks to cocksucking goons repeatedly giving it 5-star satirical reviews. About 46 copies are already on sale second-hand however, which also happens to be how many copies have sold in total. More like my tank is Shite, amirite?
The book itself is about crazy superweapons developed mostly by the Nazis during the course of WWII, featuring massive fucking gigantic tanks and aircraft so ludicrous, expensive and ultimately self-destructive, you can genuinely see exactly where, how and why the Nazis ultimately failed to take Europe.
It actually could have been extremely interesting and a potential goldmine of endless lols, if not for two minor details:
Minor Detail One
Writer Zach Parsons had already posted all of the best shit (giant tanks, insane aircraft) on SA for free and all of the new, not-available-for-free material (early night-vision goggles, a prototype jet) wasn't even moderately interesting.
Taking this to the next level of shitting directly onto the consumer, most of the previously-seen material was copypasted directly from the original series of totally-free-to-anyone-with-an-internet-connection articles with minimal alterations, the only major difference being that now you could wipe your ass with the pages when you were done wading through dense, unreadable blocks of amateurish text.
Minor Detail Two
Zach Parsons is a fucking abysmal writer, incapable of framing what is clearly the object of his own wild masturbatory fantasies in an even remotely engaging manner.
From the early days of SA, his attempts to entertain completely shunned wit, comedic timing or instinct in favor of wild hyperbole - the life raft of the uninspired and utterly abhorrent 'humorist' - and wild hyperbole alone. Luckily, he had hundreds of starfucking goons clustered around him to sing praises to his flaccid penis and swear blind that he was the bestest most funniestest writarr EVAR and thus never needed to improve.
Which is why you can now pay $15.99 $11.99 $7.99 BUY IT USED FOR $3.77 for two hundred pages of "Nazis made these tanks because they were full of craziness like six bags of crazy stuffed into a crazy box and then that box is painted in crazy" with a forced dick joke thrown in every few paragraphs for flavor.
Throw in a few grainy, googled images and a handful of 'artist interpretations,' and you have yourself a winner, my friend.
Unless you wanted to actually sell books or anything.
But fuck it, success is overrated, I always say.
