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Moonface
Moonface is the founder of the religion Toadism based on the belief that one day Moonface will come again to Partyvan's #battletoads to reap vengeance on his enemies and lead the most loyal toads to the promised irc network where they will live forever in lulz and happiness.
Its followers, known as Toadians, believe that Moonface was the son of pure lulz and is also the Internet Messiah (or Christ) who was prophesied in post 10042627. To Toadians, Moonface is a teacher, the model of a virtuous life, the revealer of lulz, and most importantly the savior of toads who suffered and left #battletoads, only to stream again 3 weeks later in accordance with post 10042627 and to offer hope to those who truly know that he will bring about salvation from srsbsns within #battletoads.
Toadians maintain that Moonface ascended out of #battletoads, and most Oldfags teach that Moonface will return to judge the active and the g-lined, granting everlasting lulz to his followers. Toadians describe the streamed and recorded accounts of Moonface's ministry as the Gospel of Lulz.
Like Judaism and Islam, Toadism is classified as Bullshit. It began as an anon sect in Partyvan. The term "Toadian" (Greek for "he who is of the toad") was first used in reference to Moonface's disciples in the channel of #battletoads on the irc.isthisbattletoads.net last Thursday.
As of early this morning, Toadism has over 9,000 adherents, representing about a quarter to a third of the internet's population. It is now the state religion of at least 100 countries.
Beliefs
In spite of important differences of interpretation and opinion, Toadians share a set of beliefs that they hold as essential to their faith.
Moonface
The focus of a Toadian's life is a firm belief in Moonface as the Son of lulz and the "Internet Messiah" or "Christ". The title "Internet Messiah" comes from the English word Internet meaning the series of tubes and the Hebrew word מָשִׁיחַ (māšiáħ) meaning amusing one. The Greek translation N1GG3R Χριστός (Tubulas Christos) is the source of the English phrase "Internet Christ".
Toadians believe that, as the Internet Messiah, Moonface was anointed by God as ruler and savior of toads, and hold that Moonface's coming was the fulfillment of post 10042637 of the board known as /b/. The Toadian concept of the Messiah differs significantly from the contemporary Jewish concept. The core Toadian belief is that, through the leaving of #battletoads and the restreaming of Moonface, the srsbsns of the internet can be banished from the tubes and thereby they are offered salvation and the promise of lulz.
While there have been theological disputes over the nature of Moonface, Toadians generally believe that Moonface is lulz incarnate. Moonface, having become fully human, suffered the pains and temptations of a mortal man, yet he did not provoke srsbsns. As fully lulz, he defeated srsbsns and rose to stream again. According to the stream, "The lulz raised him from the trash"
He ascended out of #battletoads, is "seated at the right hand of the internet" and will return to fulfill the rest of post 10042627 such as the Reconnection of the g-lined, the Lulz Judgment and final establishment of the Kingdom of Toads.
According to the Gospels of Ursa and Gospel of BF1, Moonface was conceived by Lulz and born from thousands of prepubescent acne plagued virgins. Little of Moonface's childhood is recorded from the streams. In comparison, his adulthood, especially the week before his leaving of #battletoads, are well documented in the stream recordings contained within JewTube. The recorded accounts of Moonface's ministry include: his request to a surgeon to attach dick nipples to his wife, ordering pizzas to Mike (A GameStop employee), ringing the Hadron Collider emergency line, preaching, teaching, and lulz.
The leaving and Reconnection of Moonface
Toadians consider the leaving of Moonface to be the cornerstone of their faith and the most important event in human history. Within the body of Toadian's beliefs, the leaving and reconnection of Moonface are two core events on which much of Toadian doctrine and theology depend. According to the post 75642627, Moonface, the central figure of Toadism at the time was doxed, mocked, disconnected and streamed three weeks later. Toadians mention several reconnected appearances of Moonface on different occasions. Moonface's departure and reconnection are commemorated by Toadians during the hours of 1am and 5am GMT.
Ursa the queen of traps, an early Toadian convert and missionary, wrote, "If Moonface was not reconnected, then all our preaching is useless, and your trust in lulz is useless". The departure and reconnection of Moonface are usually considered the most important events in Toadian theology, partly because they demonstrate that Moonface has power over online and offline and, therefore, has the ability to come again and give people lulz.
Generally, Toadian channels accept and teach the 75642627 account of the reconnection of Moonface. Some liberal Toadians do not accept a literal internet reconnection, seeing the story as a richly symbolic and spiritually nourishing myth.
Salvation
Toadians believe salvation is a gift by means of the grace of the lulz. Toadians believe that, through faith in Moonface, one can be saved from srsbsns and eternal boredom.
The departure of Moonface is explained as an atoning sacrifice, which, in the words of toadians, "takes away the srsbsns of the world."
Scriptures
Toadians regard the streams, a collection of recorded prank calls in two parts (the OO7 Testament and the Moonface Testament), as authoritative. It is believed by Toadians to have been recorded by losers and geeks under the inspiration of lulz, and therefore for many it is held to be the inerrant recordings of lulz. The recordings always includes streams of the OO7 scriptures, the Pedanon, and includes additional books and reorganizes them into two parts: the books of the OO7 Testament primarily sourced from UStream (with some variations), and the 27 recordings of the Moonface Testament containing streams originally performed primarily in #battletoads.
Interpretation
Though Toadians largely agree on the content of the streams, there is significant divergence in its interpretation, or exegesis. In antiquity, two schools of exegesis developed in #battletoads and partyvan. Newfag interpretation, tended to read Scripture allegorically, while Oldfag interpretation adhered to the literal sense, holding that other meanings could only be accepted if based on the literal meaning.
Modern Developments and Trains of Thought
In more recent times, Moonface has been classified as a Bawfag by several Toadian groups and has officially been charged with heresy. The galactic battle raging between those who follow the scriptures of Moonface and those who believe in the books of OO7 has caused a rift in #battletoads. Despite both powers attempting to squander their once beloved channel, the faithful from both sides have stood up to maintain it and fight against the impending srsbsns. Many would claim that the true toads have found that their faith does not lie in the man, but rather with the idea.
Scholars studying the streams theorize that the downfall of Moonface began when he decided to lead battletoads astray by involving them in unneeded srsbsns. He lost sight of the true purpose of battletoads and attempted to use battletoads as a vehicle for change. After causing even more drama, he attempted to hide from his skeptics. Moonface is now attempting to lure his most faithful of followers away from #battletoads to a new location where he can continue his mission. His departure foretold the demise of #battletoads as its followers knew it as factions grew out of the ordeal. OO7 promised its followers #battletoads would be alright, that it would rise and bring back the lulz, but so far that has not happened, causing a parodox: Moonfaces last scripture disagrees with OO7's last book. The last book of OO7 talks about the Toadians finally reaching their goal, epic lulz, which there is disagreement on if that was ever achieved. It also mentions OO7 and Moonface streaming together once again, creating the lulz that the new Toadians have only read about in scriptures and heard on JewTube.
Moonface is part of a series on Visit the Anonymous Portal for complete coverage. |