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Mechanophilia

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Mechanophilia is a mental disorder of the type paraphilia described as a sexual attraction to inanimate objects (mainly machines, hence the name). It develops during the late anal period (5-7 years old) and is much more common among girls.

Diagnostic criteria

Prognosis

Everything has been tried - even real, live intercourse with a prostitute. It didn't help. Possible reasons of this revealed by a scientific study conducted at Kyodai include:

  • Artificial pussies/anuses are tighter than real human genitalia.
  • Dildos are more powerful/bigger than the genuine article.
  • Hitachi Lick-o-matic with Duracell batteries never wear out while real carpet munchers' tongues get tired pretty fast.
  • Most importantly, real sex requires the participants to experience some emotions, of which mecha are incapable.

The situation is not hopeless, however. Japanese and Koreans are already developing robots that have genitals mimicking that of humans, and mecha is lawful in most parts of the world.

Legality

Mechanophilia is treated very seriously in some jurisdictions. The United Kingdom is notable for having strict anti-mechanophilia laws in place, which means that anyone who... hang on...

 



... erm, actually it turns out that mechanophilia isn't a crime in the UK at all (as Wikipedia claims). But amazingly, it turns out that -- according to Wikipedia's own source -- behaving in a sexual way in public is a crime, the basic offense of "breaching the peace", whether you do it with a bicycle, a horse, an old sock, or just your hand. But since there was no way of spotting this incredibly subtle legal distinction, perhaps Wikipedia can be forgiven.

No, fuck that, if any of the pompous assholes who treat Wikipedia as their personal intellectual fiefdom had seen the above claim and thought about it for more than 10 fucking seconds they would have realised that their ludicrous idea would mean that vibrators would be outlawed and most British women would be in prison.

And it turns out that a few journalists didn't give it more than 10 seconds of thought either, and mindlessly cuntpasted this ridiculous factoid while performing journalistic research.

Read 'em and weep.

Hall of plagiarising shame



Gallery

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    Mechanophiles fantasize about this all the time.
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    Oh noes!!!11!1!
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    Rail in Akihabara, Japan
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    An artist's impression of what mecha might look like.
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    The unconscious Chii.
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Famous mecha

See Also


 

Mechanophilia is part of a series on

Sex

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Mechanophilia is part of a series on Psychology
  Mental illness & Disorders

Acrotomophilia • Addiction • Agoraphobia • Alcoholism • Alexis Pilkington Syndrome • Alzheimer's • Anorexia • Antisocial personality disorder • Anthropophobia • Anxiety • ADD • ADHD • Asperger's Syndrome • Autism • Bimbofication • Bipolar • Borderline personality disorder • Bug Chasing • Bulimia • Cognitive dissonance • Deep thinker • Depression • Dick Impalement • Down's Syndrome • Dyslexia • Eating disorder • Factitious disorder • Fake Schizophrenia • Fauxlimia • Feminism • Gender dysphoria • Girl on the Internet Syndrome • Heterophobia • Hero Complex • HFA • Histrionic Personality Disorder • Hutchence's Syndrome • Hyperbolimia • Inadequacy • Inconsistent personality disorder • Insanity • Liberal Butthurt Syndrome • Liberalism • Low Self-esteem • 'Missing White Woman' Syndrome • Multiple personality disorder • Napoleon Complex • Narcissistic personality disorder • Neurotypical • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder • Paranoia • Paranoid personality disorder • Peter Pan Syndrome • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder • Psychopathy • Pyromania • Retardation • Schizophrenia • Seasonal Affective Disorder • Self-diagnosis • Self Injury • Sexsomnia • Sickfuckery • Sociopathy • Social anxiety disorder • Special Snowflake Syndrome • Terminological percipience disorder • Trolling Induced Transsexuality Syndrome • Tulpa • Unrealistic expectations • Victim complex

Fetishes:

Acrotomophilia • Aquaphilia • Arborphilia • Audiophilia • Autogynephilia • Balloon Fetish • Bestiality • Carmen Electra complex • Cross Dressing • Dollfilia • Emetophilia • Emosexuality • Eproctophilia • Fatty Fetish (Female Fat Admirer) • Fetishism • Foot Fetish • Furniture Porn • Furrism • Goo girl • Guro • Heterophilia • Homophilia • Inflation Fetish • Japanophilia • Jungle Fever • Lesbian pedophilia • Lotion Play • Macrophilia • Maiesiophilia • Mechanophilia • Mpreg • Necrophilia • Objectophilia • Oedipial Complex • Paraphilia • Pedophilia • Plushophilia • Pregnant Loli • Pregnophilia • Quicksand Fetish • Rangerphilia • Spectrophilia • Statuephilia • Trichophilia • Voraphilia • Wet and Messy Fetishism • Wetlook • Xenophilia • Yellow fever • Zoophilia

E-Psychosis:

Chronic Troll Syndrome • Deletionism • E-go • E-Psychiatrist • E-Psychiatry • ETD • Hivemind • I-Dosing • I have a 140 IQ • IRC Disease • Imaginary girlfriend • Internet Disease & Internet Disease Chart • Internet poverty delusions • Internet Rehab • Internet troll personality disorder • Mega ultra super genius • Nerdy Fandom Gateway Theory • Sex by association • Lulz-Blindness • Wikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases

Experiments:

ask.fm • Brainwashing • Hypnosis • Milgram Experiment • Scientology • Stanford Prison Experiment • The Hivemind Corollary

Sites:

Above Top Secret • B/ • Bodies Under Siege • CYOC • Chatroulette • Defense Industries Organization • Deeker • FoolQuest.com • InkBunny • Neuticles.com • Psyke.org • WarpMyMind.com

See also:

American Psychiatric Association • Anger • ASMR • Child abuse • Conscience • Dreams • DSM • Elan School • Enlightenment • Intelligence • Lobotomy • Mary Bell • Psychiatristy • Serial Killers • Take the meat bridge • The Law of Conformity • Trigger Warning

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