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JzG
Guy André Chapman (born 1964) has been a bureaucratic fuck at TOW since the very earliest days, and is known by other Wikipedos as JzG. Later, he has renamed his signature and appears as simply "Guy", followed by a "Help!" link to appear friendly while he isn't. This was an attempt to shake off his reputation as a long-term cunt, and due to his years-long dedication to Jimbo's link-farm he got away with it (despite the fact that there are many other men called "Guy" on Wikipedia - or perhaps because of it).
Guy regularly learns various important things from the various retards over there, including Richard Pryor being stoned on the set of Stir Crazy (Archived: 1 2). Like most whining alcoholic asshole cocksuckers whose hobby is "singing," Guy is a special person. He frequently attacks other Wikipedia editors ( 1 2), but also feels very sorry for himself because he doesn't understand why he is so wildly unpopular ( 1 2). His ugly dead alcoholic sister that committed suicide gave him a blowjob once, which was a profound formative moment in his life ( 1 1).
Thanks to all these factors, Guy spends a lot of time each day on Wikipedia being a humorless arrogant piece of shit. It has paid off. To this day, Guy is the only Wikipedia bigwig to have been the subject of a peer-reviewed scientific paper ($) about abusive wiki-editing published in a genuine academic journal ( 1 2).
To distract himself from his miserable intimate life that is unenjoyable as a result of the highly sensitive foremost part of his sex organ having been cut off, he threatens editors who present inconvenient facts about circumcision with finding something out "the hard way", whatever that is supposed to mean. Any criticism of circumcision threatens his deluded sense of completeness.[1]
Back in the day, Guy had a Myspace profile boasting that he has popular diseases like "anxiety, depression, asthma, tinnitus, hyperacusis, migraines and a beergut," but deleted it after a few years because has no friends ( 1 2). He is an avid supporter of Calton and enjoys masturbating to old pictures of his dead father as he tries to relive all the sexual abuse he deserved, got, and enjoyed.
Getting to know Guy
- "If you act like a troll, I will probably ignore you and may tell you to fuck off." (Archived: 1 2)
- "Shut the fuck up, you whining twat." (After being caught red-handed vandalizing another user's talk page. Archived: 1 2)
- "Fuck off. Fuck right off." (When another editor requested Guy stand Trial By Arbcom for edit-warring. Archived: 1 2)
- "And I want you to fuck off." (In response to a request that he delete one of his personal attacks. Archived: 1 2)
- "Having given this the consideration it merits, fuck off." (In response to a request for him to stop editing Wikipedia's rules to support his own arguments. Archived: 1 2)
- "Well screw you. I saw the deleted content, and it was shit. Pure, unmitigated, unrelieved, venomous, worthless, POV-pushing shit." (Archived: 1 2)
- "I consider you an evil underhand spiteful shit-stirring weasel." (In response to a claim that he is reverting edits to conceal his own conflict of interests. Archived: 1 2)
- "You have been rude, arrogant, snide, patronising, obnoxious, uncooperative, unconstructive - and above all stupid." (A minor self-awareness failure. Archived: 1 2)
- "Go away you ED-spamming worthless troll." (After being asked why he keeps undoing edits to the "Encyclopedia Dramatica" article. Archived: 1 2)
- "I ask you because you may be about to find out the hard way" (Playing an Internet tough guy infront of an editor who dared to criticize the removal of the foremost part of the male reproductive organ, and the World Health Organization.)
Glowing reviews
- "Personal attack by an admin" (July 2007) (Archived: 1 2)
- Requests for Comment/JzG2 (March 2008) (Archived: 1 2)
- Requests for Comment/JzG_3 (March 2009) (Archived: 1 2)
- Requests for Arbitration/JzG (December 2018) (Archived: 1 2)
Guy of course refused to participate in the first RFC (though he grudgingly did in the second, mainly by removing the truthful and accurate comments his opponents made throughout the process...). But, because of the numerous complaints about his uncivil comments he appears to be using "fuck off" less often. The remark "I consider you an evil underhand spiteful shit-stirring weasel" is an example of his "improved" communication skills.
How did this happen? - Usenet Asshole Becomes Admin
During his 2006 RfA Guy provided a thrillingly vapid and dishonest answer to this question from the only opposing voter:
— User:CyclePat |
Guy made veiled threats about his own "limited tolerance for baseless personal attacks" and how much Jimbo loves him. The objector was immediately under pressure from the dumb herd (who thought about RfCing him for daring to question Guy's integrity). This lone dissenter soon changed his vote from "OPPOSE" to "SUPPORT" in recognition of the fact that the whole thing was a jury-rigged show-trial intended to achieve a foregone verdict. The main concern among Guy's mouth-breathing pals was whether Guy would reform his bad habit of not always filling out an edit summary!
Also notice that our dear friend MONGO supported Guy's RfA, which applied a bit more subtle pressure on anyone else who might have had reservations. Consequently, on January 17, 2006, Guy Chapman went from being a despicable but ignorable asshole to being a despicable asshole with power.
Why God, Why?
Without Guy...
- Who else would fail to notice the irony of acting like a huge asshole about deleting the article on "Anal stretching"? 1 2
- Who would try to ensure a neutral point of view in the article about "The Number of the Beast"? 1 2
- Who would request citations for the article about fat chicks? 1 2
- Who would delete the article about a Porn 2.0 site and try to prevent anyone from ever re-creating it? 1 2
- Who else, who, would "purge the cruft" from the "Buttocks" article on Christmas Eve?!? 1 2
"Indeed," as Guy would say.
Welcome to His World
Terms of Service (from User Talk:JzG)
By posting on this page you accept the JzG Terms of Service.
I endeavour to satisfy good-faith requests to the best of my ability, but if you act like a dick, I will call you a dick. If you act like a troll, I will probably ignore you and may tell you to fuck off. If you want something from me, your best bet is not to demand it on pain of shopping me to ArbCom, because that way is pretty much guaranteed to piss me off to the extent that I will do whatever I can to thwart your plans. This page may contain trolling. Some of it might even be from me, but never assume trolling where a misplaced sense of humour might explain things. I can be provoked, it's not even terribly difficult. You may find, if you provoke me enough, that I will do something I later regret. Only remember, you may regret it more. I am a middle-aged surly bastard who spends his working day wrestling spammers and beating Windows with a stick, but I am capable of seeing good in the most improbable people if they don't go out of their way to make me do otherwise. Guy (Help!) 22:32, 4 January 2007 (UTC) (Reference)
British humor is his excuse?
This user posts using a British sense of humour and does not repress those instantaneous motions of merriment. (Reference)
Enemies List!
- Guy was very butthurt after a neighborhood bartender called "The Pope" spurned his advances, and subsequently embarked on a righteous crusade to totally blacklist a tiny queer Catholic newsletter nobody gives a fuck about (Archived: 1 2)
- Orchestrated a community ban to get rid of an editor who was coming dangerously close to revealing that Guy jerks off every night to a poster of some junkie with testicular cancer while yelling out his sisters name (Archived: 1 2)
- Elementary school kids! Told the little jerks to fuck off in no uncertain terms, before they could make a single lousy edit... (Archived: 1 2)
- ...and then deleted the criticism he got for it because he is a thin-skinned coward as well as a goon and a bully (Archived: 1 2).
And there's more...
- Whines like a little bitch to have obscure "attack sites" put on blacklist. [1]. Arbcom said, mommy!
- Called someone who asked a question during his Arbcom candidacy a troll, then "withdrew" from election after getting 51 oppose votes, sniffling that he withdrew because he "deals poorly with trolls." What a crybaby bitch.
JzG likes girls with big tits (who doesn't!)
Surprisingly, Guy does have a sense of shame. At Christmas 2006, he anonymously edited several articles related to fap-fodder, while not logged in as "JzG". Sadly (for him) he then accidentally exposed himself as the anonymous editor "80.176.82.42" by posting a snotty remark to someone, realizing he wasn't logged in, then logging in and posting the same snotty remark again as "JzG" (Archived: 1 2).
- Guy anonymously whiteknights a newscaster who was sacked for getting nekkid in a wet T-shirt contest (Archived: 1 2)
- ... and adds some more of his expertise on the topic (Archived: 1 2)
- Guy anonymously defends the reputation of Charmaine Sinclair (Archived: 1 2)
- Guy anonymously defends the reputation of "Letha Weapons" (Archived: 1 2)
Wikipedia has deleted two other porn actor articles that Guy edited anonymously: "Lisa Lipps" ( 1 2) and Dani O'Neal ( 1 2)
Since outing himself, Guy has shown a much-decreased interest in editing porn-related articles.
Whenever JzG starts to get a bit huffy and tells you to fuck off, redirect his talk page and any articles that he's editing to the List of big-bust models and performers. This seems to calm him down and saves him much time because he doesn't have to pretend that he's doing anything really useful to get there...
JzG's personal wiki
JzG's now-deleted personal wiki was where he bitched about how poorly the Internet has treated him. What's left of Guy's website can be seen in the "External Links" section of this article, although unless you are an ultra-sperg about bicycles the boredom will probably prove fatal.
Mr. BigBoobFan felt very butthurt when his dad began to rot in hell from January 21, 2008 ( 1 2), and proceeded to whine about it on his dad's long biography where he neglected to mention all the nights his father spent sucking on his cock.
He's also afraid of hackers so his page is blank. Note that Tor is not blocked.
He writes his own biography
—From the now-deleted Biographicon social networking website |
It is clear from the above that Guy operates in his own fantasy world and doesn't realize that most people that meet or talk to him wish he would promptly join his alcoholic cunt sister and cocksucking father as wormfood.
He writes reviews of Encyclopaedia Dramatica
"Encyclopedia Dramatica is a website for those at the awkward stage between writing on toilet walls and discovering how to masturbate."review
"We now have an "article" on the self-aggrandizing sophomoric shithole that is Encyclopedia Dramatica. Way to go. That really improves the encyclopaedia, just like the countless band vanity articles we get. Fact is, nobody who is not already a member of the ED community gives a toss about the worthless place, and their retaliation against our original deletion showed that deletion was unambiguously correct. The purpose of the article is solely to validate their tawdry little website and persuade themselves that the hours they spend there are of more merit to humanity than hours spent masturbating." review
"Those wonderful people at Encyclopaedia Dramatica are now saying that my late father, who was a teacher by profession, was a paedophile - charming lot, God knows why we gave them back the article on their festering heap of webshite" [2]
Awards
- He won 1st place in the 3rd annual WP:DICK awards.[3]
- He won 1st place in the 3rd annual Miss Incongeniality awards [4]
See also
- His usenet posts
- He's listed here as well
- His Facebook
- His long-since deleted personal wiki: Waybacked
JzG is part of a series on Visit the Wikipedia Portal for complete coverage. |