Lens flare

Everything shitty in this world can be improved upon; but the main dilemma here is that improvement takes time and effort. Sometimes things are so goddamn awful that you could waste your life trying, and still get no results. For those who have lost hope, there is a gleaming light at the end of the dark tunnel: lens flare.

File:Jjabramshasadrink.jpg

Yes, whether it be video games, comics, poetry, books, people, places, goths, furries or even Nathanr, lens flares can make ANYTHING instantly awesome. With the magic of lens flare, no turd need go unpolished.

Origins

All matter in space is comprised of lens flare.

An exquisite, fresh take on Goatse made possible entirely by LENS FLARE.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be lensflare: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. And you basically know the rest

Up until the beginning of the nineties, the sacred lensflare belonged only to the gods. In 1997 the software company Adobe released Photoshop 1.0, which like a modern Prometheus, stole the lensflare from the gods. From this day forth, lensflares became as important as fire, water, and electricity to modern civilization.

Modern filmmakers have come to employ the lensflare in current cinematographic ventures, including Michael Bay's Lens Flare Meets The Eye and J.J. Abrams Intergalactic Lens Flare.

Technical jibberjabber

When you take a picture with your camera, the shutter will open just long enough to suck in sufficient light for a decently exposed picture. However, when you take a picture that includes a bright light source such as camera flash or the Sun, light from that source will bounce off of the film or sensor, back to the lens, then back to the sensor again, over and over until the light gets diffused or escapes back out through the lens. The appearance of the flare depends on the angle and position of attack, intensity, and size of the light source.

Stars in our galaxy tend to be round, and they usually don't have 4 sharp points protruding from them. That's just flare created when light bounces off telescope reflector support rods.

All other lens flare is created by Photoshop. So remember, next time you make "art", open it up with Photoshop and use Filter> Render> Lens Flare at least 100 times, for great justice.

The lens flare test

Take any art piece and count the number of lens flares, if you are able see more than 0, then your are sure its author is a skilled and gifted artist and thus, deserves your respect.

I passed the lens-flare-test!!!

How to Lens Flare:

1. Fire up Photoshop or GIMP
2. Choose Filters
3. Roll over Light and Shadow
4. Choose Lens flare
5. ????
6. PROFIT!

Lens flare gallery

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  The intriguing 35 millimeter prime lens flare.
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  The fantastic 105mm millimeter prime lens flare.
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  Lens flare at its best!
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  The outstanding movie prime lens flare.
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  Yep...that just right!
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  Raep can be improved by lens flare.
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  Even Daikatana can be made better by lens flare.
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  Same goes for Fursecution Fox. Still shows the moobs though.
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  Drawing focus to the breasts, Fox can be made watchable using lens flare.
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  Terrible "art" can be improved!
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  Gay cats find lensflare just FAAABULOUS!
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  Final Fantasy Tactics attained its cult status & "Greatest Hits" re-release thanks to lens flare.
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  Suggesting suicide by knife, lens flare helps thin out the emo population.
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  ALLAH AKBAR!!
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  No art is complete without a lens flare!
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  Thanks to lens flare, artwork doesn't have to suck so bad anymore.
• 
  The power of lens flare is in your hands.
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  Lens Flare Rainbow!
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  A little Flare goes a long way.
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  Makes cosplay more convincing.
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  Even scat movies can be made good with lens flare!
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  The light from lens flare helps identify Gas Mask Girl.
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  For sale at Amazon.
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  Lens flare can be deadly in the right hands.
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  Lens flare: The only cure for whiny "furry art".
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  LAZER EYES!!! HAHA! I suck cocks! That's supernova
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  Lens flare is now a fashion accessory. Limited edition, too!
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  Not so awesome
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  The classic 50 to 100 millimeter zoom lens flare.
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  Moar!
• 
  MOAR!

See also

• Star Trek
• Computer graphics
• High contrast
• Photoshop

Lens flare is part of a series on SCIENCE! [FizzlePop]

Great Minds Alan Turing • Albert Einstein • Aristotle • Bill Nye • Charles Darwin • L. Ron Hubbard • Nikola Tesla • Richard Dawkins • Sir Isaac Newton • Socrates • Stephen Hawking Theories Balloon Boy • Theoretical physics • God • Existence • Evolution • Global Warming • Look Around You • Memes • Computer Science III • Large Hadron Collider • Apophis • How is babby formed? • The Comprehensive Theory of Lulz • Schrödinger's cat • Schrödinger's Cunt • Zero Division Proven by Science Alternative Medicine • Chemistry • Cubic Time • Earth • George Bush doesn't care about black people • Giant Thumbs • God hates fags • Gravity • HAARP • Intelligent Design • JEWS DID WTC • Motor Oil • No girls on the internet • Ouija Board • Duct Tape • Pluto • Raelism • The Moon • Scientology • Tree Hugging • Trepanation • Uranus Science in Action! 2024 Eclipse • Archaeology • Butyric Acid • Creationism • Diabeetus • Drugs • Electricity • Fire • Heart • Lawnmower • Lead • Lens flare • Magnetostatics • Marijuana Addiction • NASA • Nanotechnology • Nuclear War • Pain (Physical) • Sex • Tay • Thiopental Sodium • Uranium • WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?