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Encyclopedia Dramatica:Dramatic Times/April 2010

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News you can sue                                                 April 2010

April showers bring May flowers, April Fools Day, the destruction of the 
Polish government, and Fuckin' Magnets. Seriously, WTF?

Contents

    * 1 Lulz Recap
          o Fuckin Magnets
          o KFC Double Down
          o Polish Crash
          o Fergie Oliver
          o Rox-Yin & Kira
          o Brenlo
          o Chloe Dykstra
          o Andrew Brunell
          o BrokeNCYDE
          o Implying implications
          o Shocked and appalled cat
          o The ED Singers
          o Randi Harper
          o Michelle Lyn Taylor
          o Boobquake
          o Kate's Party
    * 2 Users of the month
          o A+ Newbie Award
          o Vox Dramatica
    * 3 LNN
    * 4 Letters to the Editor
    * 5 Editing Protips
    * 6 Contact information

===========================================================================
Lulz Recap
===========================================================================

Fuckin Magnets
-----------------------------------------------------
A group of musical clowns known as ICP made an attempt to educate their 
fanbase of mental children about the wonders of the natural world, only to 
find themselves utterly perplexed as well. Water, Fire, Air and Dirt 
escaped explanation, along with the particularly vexing phenomena of 
fornicating magnets. Ever proud and independent, the Posse refused to 
consult dishonest scientists for assistance.

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Fuckin_Magnets

KFC Double Down
-----------------------------------------------------
North American fast food chain KFC, famous for supplying Africans with 
their staple diet of deep-fried poultry has realized the error of their 
ways, creating the KFC Double Down in an attempt to feed its client base to
 death, making a killing while making a killing. The Double Down consists 
of bacon sandwiched between two fried pieces of chicken. Not to be outdone, 
PETA activists have vowed to embark on progressively hypocritical and 
violent protests in an attempt to make themselves heard over the din of 
mastication created by consumers of the KFC Double Down.

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/KFC_Double_Down

Polish Crash
-----------------------------------------------------
An arboreal terrorist insurgent(a fuckin tree) landed a devastating blow on 
the Polish government by preventing an airplane loaded with just about 
every Polish politician in existence from striking the ground. That's 
right, the black box records indicate that just before the crash, the pilot 
steered the plane DOWN.

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Polish_Crash

Fergie Oliver
-----------------------------------------------------
25 year old game show clips become viral video. Suffice to say you will be 
creeped out.

http://encyclpopediadramatica.com/Fergie_Oliver 

Rox-Yin & Kira
-----------------------------------------------------
A couple of British, BDSM-obssessed-furfags attempted to secure eternal 
happiness in each other's loving embrace through an act of parental homicide. 
The cutlery-based assault was foiled when the father woke up and began 
screaming out loud as one tends to do when attacked in bed with a knife.

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Rox-Yin_&_Kira

Brenlo
-----------------------------------------------------
A senior producer for the MMORPG EverQuest II quit his job. The community 
rejoiced as he didn't even play the game, and promised a lot of things that 
never happened. But then, insiders revealed that he possibly left his job 
because he's been trying to Tiger Woods it up with other employees.

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Brenlo

Chloe Dykstra
-----------------------------------------------------
Lemon Demon's ex-girlfriend leaves nudes oti. Lol.

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chloe_Dykstra

Andrew Brunell
-----------------------------------------------------
A kid makes a lot of IP Relay Phone calls to his neighbours in the middle 
of the night, and gets V& for his troubles.

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Andrew_Brunell

BrokeNCYDE
-----------------------------------------------------
Four Crunkcore ladyboys and a furry from New Mexico attempt to make the 
worst music ever - and succeed

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/BrokeNCYDE

Implying implications
-----------------------------------------------------
ED finally gets an article on that >Green text shit that every moron thinks
 is hilarious on the EDFacebook/IRC. Loved by many because unlike funny 
image memes, it requires no talent at all. Yay!

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Implying_implications

Shocked and appalled cat
-----------------------------------------------------
Cat gives :O face due to surgery. It's way funnier than it sounds.

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Shocked_and_appalled_cat

ED Singers
-----------------------------------------------------
Encyclopedia Dramatica: The Musical!

Also, wish EDS1 a happy birthday! I hear she's even legal now.

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/ED_Singers

Randi Harper
-----------------------------------------------------
What happens when you combine fat, programming, drama, abortions, and the 
inability to learn from past mistakes? This article subject from 2006 is 
back after the GNAA hacked her email and exposed this POPULAR BLOG OWNER 
as a second trimester abortion haver. Lol, internet.

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Randi_Harper

Michelle Lyn Taylor
-----------------------------------------------------
In what has shaped up to be quite a lulzy month of fat chicks compounding
bad decisions with more bad decisions, comes Michelle Lyn Taylor. (Note the
serial killeresque use of middle name.) Michelle Lyn Taylor is currently
serving life on a Nevada chain gang after getting drunk and mauling a 13
year old boy with her breasts, and then refusing any plea deal that would
have required her to register as a sex offender. Despite being one.

LOL mandatory sentencing meets USI.

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Michelle_Lyn_Taylor

Boobquake
-----------------------------------------------------
Hairy college feminists disrobe on facebook. The Earth trembles.

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Boobquake

Kate's Party
-----------------------------------------------------
Ausfag media whore David Thorne trolls fucking everyone with a fake 
facebook party, then develops USI and gives media interviews BEFORE the 
party saying "LOLOL I TROLL U!"

Kate's Party closed due to Ausfail.

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Kate's_Party

===========================================================================
Users of the Month
===========================================================================
A+ Newbie Award
-----------------------------------------------------
* The newbie of the month is Zionistacat -- who was actually a former sysop 
that drifted away and came back to bring balance to the Lulz by being 
super-active. Zionistacat is Snitch's bitch for Good New Articles and in 
charge of changing Killhamster's litterbox for Bad New Articles. 
Zionistacat is also on the Dramatic Times editing team so I expect her to 
take revenge on me for this one. A++++++!!!! ;D

Vox Dramatica
-----------------------------------------------------
* April 2010's winners of Vox Dramatica + free t-shirt are Kale_ and 
D-Malice

Kale_ got VD because he was awesome by supporting ED with tons of 
jewgolds. He is a king among men and actually kind of a big deal!

D-Malice was born with VD in his veins by being a colossal retard, which 
meant being born with huge potential for improvement, and he's been doing 
just that ever since we all made him our bitch on EDF. D-Malice is proof 
positive that sometimes ED makes better people out of the worst of us!

New Sysops
-----------------------------------------------------
* Zionistacat got her ops back from 2007, adding 100% more Swedish American
Muslims to the ED team.
===========================================================================
Lulz News Network
===========================================================================

* Woman adopts Russian child, returns to sender. likely to cause WWIII.
http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2010/04/09/russia-adoption-tennessee.html

* Pedobear vandalism on pope image
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20100410/local/panda-print

* The URL is probably the funniest part
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/apr/11/catholic-bishop-blames-jews

* BROKEN NEWS!!!: Yemeni child bride dies of busted pussy.
 http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/breaking-news/yemeni-child-bride-dies-of-bleeding-after-intercourse/story-e6frf7k6-1225851570882

* Facebook is causing STD's (no, really)
http://www.smh.com.au/technology/technology-news/facebook-linked-to-rise-in-syphilis-20100326-r17y.html

* Man dies from anal eel insertion, likely caused by drunk friends.
http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2010/04/28/anal-eel-insertion-kills-man/

* Grandmother and grandson in love, plan on having child.
http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Grandmother-Pearl-Carter-Pregnant-With-Grandson-Phil-Baileys-Baby-In-Indiana/Article/201004415623115

===========================================================================
Letters to the editor
===========================================================================
Q: How do I ask a letter to the editor?
A: Email or the TJC on site.

Q: No one asked that question.
A: Fuck you.

===========================================================================
Editing protips of the month
===========================================================================

*Here are the sysops:
Alliecat
Angrign0n
Cash
Challenger
DCY
DMCAbot
Drunkenlazybastard
Dysrhythmia
Endedrural
Entropy
Fishing Cat
Girlvinyl 
HedgeJew
Hoveround
Iicatsii
JailBait
Jess
Kazantzakis
Killhamster
Krade
Lambfriend
Mungbean
MysteryBot
OldDirtyBtard
Penni-piper
PieAreSquare
Pink Poodle
Raspberry Rush
Ritegroic
SchmuckyTheCat
Sheneequa
Snaisybelle
Snitch
Subseven
Todd McCloud
Vonranke
Weatherman
Weev
WhiteMystery
Wit
Zionistacat

Listen to them :B

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Footers
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This issue of Dramatic Times brought to you by Fap Mann, Sheneequa White, 
A. Zed Cat, and the letter "æ".

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