Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/June 10, 2022

Conspiracy Theory

There is a secret cabal whose only design is to keep you from getting laid. There are forces aligning against your attempts to make money. Secret societies are lining up and scheming just so that you will never be successful. Mysterious factions gather under the full moon, attempting to bring the downfall of the world, just so that you will never lose weight, be attractive, or stop smelling like cheese. All of these things, these Conspiracy Theories, are the average internet slob’s excuse as to why he or she has become and remains such a goddamned loser. All conspiracy theories revolve around two things, fail and money. If you can find any subject which involves some type of fail in which someone made money there is a conspiracy.

Your typical conspiracy theorists are basement dwellers who spend too much time on the internet watching conspiracy videos on Youtube, reading Wikilinks, Truthism.com, Infowars, masturbating furiously to recordings of Alex Jones, and usually refer to themselves as being in Anonymous. Theorists think they are far more intelligent than the normal human being. They like to tell people to WAKE UP!, which they think is clever, but is actually quite annoying, and often call anyone who doesn't believe in conspiracy theories as "sheep". This is particularly ironic considering most conspiracy theorists are only going on what other conspiracy theorists tell them is true. The truth is, infact, most theorists are mentally disturbed psychopaths and Aspies with very little sense of reality.

(( DID YOU KNOW THE JEWS ARE BEHIND FUCKING EVERYTHING?! ))

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