Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/July 20, 2024

Thomas Matthew Crooks

Inept and a complete Fuck up as an assassin the Appalachian Love Child, Thomas Matthew Crooks (aka Ree Tardy Oswald), obviously played one too many games of Ghost Recon Breakpoint rather then going to shoot at the range and learn to factor in conditions such as weather, wind or just fucking learn to shoot because he completely missed his target that was a little more than 120 meters from him. (For the Aspie retards reading this, that haven't had any experiences further than their own front lawn because they're not allowed to cross the street -) that's a little more than a Football field and is a equal to hitting a paper plate that is at the opposite end of a football field.

Now before you go running to the FBI to try and get us Party Vanned . WE DO NOT CONDONE THIS! What's tickling our Funny Bone is that Thomas Matthew Crooks is what happens when that quiet, Nerdy and needy kid, that walks through High School invisible and can't even get the attention of a Bully, grows up to live in his Parent's Basement and is constantly reminded by his Mom and Dad that he is a complete failure of a man. While his parents compare his life to what they had achieved by his age, he just wakes up one day and says "Fuck it!" and gives up on life. Having accomplished nothing of importance, he wants to go down having done one monumental event that gets him noticed.

(( The Secret Service Gave Him A Participation Trophy For Just Showing Up ))

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