Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/August 2, 2025

Final Fantasy VII

Released in 1997 on the Sony PlayStation, accompanied by a flood of tears from Nintendo fanboys, Final Fantasy VII is a shitty RPG that remains popular, by fantards, even today. The main objective of the game is to use your math powers to attack (subtract) your anime opponents until they die. It is roughly the equivalent of pleasuring your math professor with a broomhandle while listening to annoying Japanese synth music. In addition to the game-play sucking, the story is even more horrible. Final Fantasy 7, as well as all other Final Fantasy games rely on cheap drama and a "deus ex machina," which is the proper term for a plot resolution that requires absolutely no set-up or skill to pull off.

(( Aerith Lives ))

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