Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Nao/November 19, 2011

We at Encyclopedia Dramatica would like to present a Double Feature today. Today's topic: Technology

Ubuntu (moar liek jubuntu, amirite?) is currently the most bloated Lunix distribution funded by Mark Shuttleworth's Canonical Ltd, to provide a distribution for those that fail at computers and was especially designed for niggers who cannot afford Windows. The Ubuntu project is built on the ideas enshrined in the Ubuntu faggotry, including that software should be available free of charge and that software tools should be usable by people in their native language- important goals for a distribution that targets Africans, but the earthy brown theme, jungle drums, and simple interface has a wider appeal than its common name, "Debian for niggers" suggests, reaching beyond the black person community to most of the Lunix-using community.

Unity is the lulziest thing that has ever happened to Ubuntu and has sparked over 9000 flame wars across the tubes.

Starting from Ubuntu 11.04, a new buggy, sluggish, and shittastic interface called "Unity" was installed by default on Ubuntu. Due to how unresponsive Unity was, many Ubuntufags bawwed and raged at Canonical. Unity had no way of allowing a user, who just upgraded from 10.10, to access existing apps that were not pinned to the dock, used up over 9000 MB of RAM, was slow on single core processors, and most people reverted to GNOME2 after upgrading.

((sucked so bad... i went back to... MS!))

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The World had just finished drying it's collective eyes after revolutionary cofounder, Steve Jorbs, kicked the proverbial bucket. Now, everyone's attention was on Apple as it was due to announce it's next breakthrough in overpriced shiny-object technology. Thus, the stage was set for the Great iPhone 4S Disappointment of 2011. The lights were dimmed and the usual media lapdogs had crowded into Apple's Reality Distortion Field located on their campus. Tim Cook, successor to the throne, took the stage. All attendees grew hush as they eagerly awaited the hot load of techno-toy jizzem they had been craving for the past several months. Give it to us Tim! Give us your steamy new iPhone 5! Oh shit guys, this is it! The moment we've all been waiting for! Its the new iPhone! The iPhone... 4? But, don't I already own this? Oh fuck it, I'll buy one anyway.

((Now there's two cores! Count 'em!))

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