Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Nao/May 9, 2012

Scientology

Scientology is a science fiction mindbelch cobbled together from delusional psychosis and rubbish by insane mouth-breather L. Ron Hubbard, who delved the darkest depths of reality and discovered that Darth Vader is in league with the Klingons and Aleister Crowley. As the arcane secrets Mr. Hubbard unearthed shake great pillars of humanity, Scientology has been organised as a graduated religion whereby, in exchange for money (which is worthless, anyway), initiates are incrementally exposed to ever more powerful spells and magical items. Though it has has never happened, it is widely believed that a Level Eighty Scientologist could unthink the universe.

While initially a slow ball to start rolling, Scientology saw an explosion of interest throughout the western world during the nineteen-sixties and seventies, and Mr. Hubbard’s empire rose as he marshalled his forces from the Good Ship Phencyclidine, an interstellar spacecraft cleverly disguised as an oceangoing vessel. Though tragically struck down by enemy forces in 1986, the prophetic legacy of Hubbard’s years aboard GS PCP remains in posterity, as does the ship itself, now in orbit of Batshit Seven, a chan-mining colony in the Fucktard Cluster.

One may consider this commentary an entirely spurious knock against freedom of religion, but this can be possible only if one is unfamiliar with the tenets of Scientology, one is staggeringly stupid or, if the latter, one is a Scientologist. Assuming the first case, one should be aware that the essential premise of Scientology is that we are all actually extra-terrestrials, and also dead.

(( HAPPY ANNIVERSARY OF DIANETICS ERRYBODY!11! ))

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