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Dimensional Entertainment
Dimensional Entertainment (also known as Dimensional Manga) are a UK based manga publishing company whose titles are all written by company owner and certified nut job Dil (due to his poor writing skills he never got as far as getting a surname). Dimensional Entertainment are notable for the fact that in the time they have been running they have failed to get a single volume of their shoddy merchandise available to buy in a high street book shelf. And in partnership with Mike “shit cock” Towers they have been the source of the most DRAMA to hit the UK animu community in years.
The Company
The mighty publishing entity known as Dimensional Entertainment currently consists of four people (that we know of)
Dil (surname unknown)
Company owner and one man tripe spewing machine. Responsible for writing all the stories that make up the companies extensive paper weight collection unreleased catalogue.
Philip Knott
Chief artist, assumed to be either clinically brain dead or possessed of the strongest bullshit shield known to man. There can be no other way for any normal human to withstand the physical and psychological abuse of having to convert Dils retard like scribbling into drawn form.
Huy Truong
Artist, used to be a school teacher and as a result is now emotionally dead and hollow inside. This would account for how he is able to cope with Dils streams of incoherent story ideas.
Ng Keng Yeow
Chief ink artist. As poor Ng is based out in Malaysia a more fitting job description would be “Sweat shop labourer” as Dil is obviously trying to save some cash by farming the inking out overseas so he only has to pay half a cent to get a book inked (and boy can you tell).
The company’s flagship character and mascot is the living afterbirth known as Pwanda which they also use as the mascot for their marketing and event stealing façade, The Manga Alliance.
And now for a quote from their press release, as they let us all know what Dimensional entertainment is all about.
—What they believe and what they actually produce are two very different things |
But what is this powerhouse of homegrown UK publishing hoping to bring to the market that no one has seen before? Apparently it’s the pioneering concept known as Feature Manga; here are some quotes straight from the horse’s mouth.
—Can you feel those standards rising |
—Be blinded by the brilliance |
—So getting a complete one off story is different from a oneshot... riigghhhtttt |
This author nearly shit himself in excitement when he read these, a whole story! In one book! I had to put down my copy of Watchmen lest my tears of joy stain the pages.
Further evidence of this companies “originality” can be seen in the highly derivative selection of titles available for preview on their website.
Dimensional have 10 series/features listed on their site but currently only books from two of them have been released (volumes 1-5 of demon prince and Pwanda). Those desperate to rush out and buy any copies will encounter severe disappointment (though not as bad as the disappointment when they actually read a DE manga) as none are available in any high street shop. This is because no right thinking retailer wants this tripe taking up valuable shelf space, as such you can only order online or pick up a copy from Dimensional directly if you happen to be at an event they are attending.
The public reaction and critical acclaim garnered by Dimensionals work has been universal, with everyone who has ever had the misfortune to read a DE title agreeing that it’s like having acid covered barbed wire forced through your eye sockets. In fact a recent survey amongst the general public has revealed that ten out ten people would prefer to read Twilight rather than a DE manga, because at least with Twilight the book is heavy enough to beat yourself to death with once you lose the will to live.
Pwanda has proved so unpopular that when Neo magazine printed an excerpt readers requested they drop their manga preview section entirely.
As for Demon Prince even Dimensional think it’s a pile of horse anus as they have cancelled it midway through its 14 volume run (the fact there are nine more volumes of this to come is depressing enough) so they can redraw the 5 volumes that they have released so far.
Dil
Self proclaimed story writing visionary and all round batshit crazy retard, Dil has been running DE since he set the company up in 2006. He is a man of many mysteries, some of the largest being:
1) How the hell he has stayed in business this long with only 6 published books that you can’t actually buy from anywhere.
2) Why he feels he can write when the scribbling of an epileptic retarded chimpanzee on the worst acid trip of its life make more sense than his scrawlings. For fucks sake he can’t even write a single sentence without fucking something up.
3) Does he have a surname and what is it? Current popular theory says it’s “Doe”
Dils favourite pastimes when not trying to shove his poorly written Manga down everyone’s throats is to go on at great length about his ground breaking story writing techniques of “layer shifting” and “fifth dimensional thinking”. Now what the fuck is fifth dimensional thinking I hear you cry, well here’s an explanation by Dil taken off an earlier incarnation of the DE website.
—WTF? |
Sounds like someone was hitting the wacky baccy a bit to hard as this is the biggest load of bullshit we’ve heard since L Ron Hubbard came up with a fantastic idea for spiritual enlightenment.
Evidence of Dils true intentions can be found in this article on A.M.I. lol worthy excerpts follow:
—Why will no one listen to me? it's not like i'm always going on about pusedo mystic bullshit... oh hang on. |
So Dil wants to be an animu Playa™ but is all butthurt because he’s a talentless waster who can’t hold down the most simple of jobs.
—where have I heard this before? |
Dil sounds a lot like another useless pus filled sack of dog carcasses we could mention.
External Links
- Dimensional Entertainment Marvel at the badly drawn and badly written manga previews, any desire you may have had to buy their shit will soon disappear.
- Manga Alliance Dimensional Entertainments less than subtle marketing machine to get their shitty Pwanda plastered across as many animu related goods as possible.
Dimensional Entertainment is part of a series on Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage. |