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Diamond Anastasia
Ania Waterman (aka Diamond Anastasia aka Bluebell aka UkAnony) is an infamous fucktarded moralfag engaged in a desperate search for acceptance. Sadly, she has taken it upon herself to search for it in Anonymous.
She does this by flitting around the virtual globe, picking on sob stories, popular threads and viral videos, then reposting them from one territory to another; all the time telling herself what a great service she's doing for the Anons of the world (never thinking to play down their fawning praise or - God forbid - JUST LINK THEM TO THE ORIGINAL SITE WHERE THE CONTENT WAS HELD IN THE FIRST PLACE).
Some refer to her as London's answer to Darr, although some might argue that this is bullshit, because at least Darr had the good taste to GTFO. A better tag would be "The eBaum's World of Chanology".
The Faggotry Begins
DA became fairly active as a new member in the Europe forum of Enturbulation around the time that the raids started to wear thin. At first, she was accepted as she was somewhat useful - strange as fuck, but she at least brought lots of fliers which is like crack for moralfags. Unfortunately, after a few months of her flying off the handle at the slightest (perceived) criticism, telling people off for being mean and flouncing dramatically, things were going as sour as a whole mouthful of the powder you get in the bottom of the bag of Haribo Fizzy Cola Bottles.
Leaderfagging
DA's 2008 projects included:
- Trying to get Anonymous to go to the seaside together. O BOY MOM! ROAD TRIP! ROAD TRIP!
- Trying to persuade anons to unmask to go for a meal together
- Secret Santa
- Printing a London Anonymous 2009 calendar
...and woe betide the poor anon that decides to call her out on any of this.
Ironically, the last one was actually a good idea. You can tell because someone else thought of it first - the San Francisco femanons. However, when the fatal flaw in her plan - that there are only about four hot London femanons - was pointed out to her, she responded that it wouldn't be a girly calender like the SF version - it would be a wholesome one full of nice pictures.
— DA on Doing it wrong. | ||
Use In Everyday Trolling
Basil is a roly-poly moralfag with a giggly girly voice, and a licensed operator of the Behringer Europort AP40 PA system. He is regarded as "Sort Of Want" by most Anons, due to the huge trolling glands (mistaken by most for his stomach) which make him impervious to almost all conventional weapons. As of November 2008 Basil has displayed evidence of rudimentary self-deprecation, and it is hoped that he may begin to comprehend lulz by the time the Chanology turns 2.
The only way known to man to effectively troll Basil is to call DA his girlfriend, or to point out the immutable and undisputed fact that he received a backalley blowjob from her, which will cause him to become instantly shifty and defensive.
—...which, sadly, had nothing to do with Scientology and more to do with the fact that I was 32 and still living at home on Incapacity Benefit. | ||
FGSFDS
Eventually, Miss Waterman's behavior reached critical mass, and her ranting headed inexorably towards a showdown in the Dome; the area of moralfag site Why We Protest where those too unbearable even for protestfags are thrown to rot. The final steel cage match to the death took place between her and two trolls called Anonymous Tipster and Moralfag. She came off the worse and was permabanned from the war effort, having proved too preachy and irritating even for Xenufags to put up with.
Not content with getting banned from WWP, she then decided to try her hand with the BrumAnon mob. However, not even the inhabitants of Birmingham (who by law have to share a room with seven black drug dealers and a single mother) could tolerate this drop in their standard of living, and soon the BA forums were spammed to high heaven with shite copied and pasted from WWP with many duplicate topics.
Clearly, action had to be taken.
<anonuk323> ooops <anonuk323> i may have re edited bluebells profile after she asked us not to <Galanon> whoopsadaisy <mjk> oh deary me <anonuk323> thats what i thought <Fuckeye> I suppose the keys are like right next to each other. <anonuk323> i mean, its not my fault that i have her profile open with the "edited" information in it, is it <anonuk323> im just maintaining a high quality service <ScudMuffin> no bluejob for you <Fuckeye> No Blowbell, either.
You can see where this is going.
—Proof that ENTURB RUINS EVERYTHING. | ||
Youtube Drama
DA was never heard from on the Chanology forums again. Thus marked the end of the story, until she showed up at the one year anniversary of the protest lugging her usual paraphernalia behind her; to wit, a huge suitcase of fliers and a collection plate for financial contributions to keep it going.
Anon member Peerless Mantis decided to mark Valentine's Day and present her with a sensitive gift recognizing her needs as a woman by placing a vibrator in it. Thereafter ED's own PieAreSquare edited the video into a gameshow and put it on YouTube.
In no time at all a fearless White Knight by the name of TescoGiftVoucher appeared to defend her, and began voting down the broadcast and everyone who left positive comments for it. At the same time, DA herself began frantically mailing Pie, upon whom she had been sweet for some months to the point of sending him text messages at three in the morning, with demands for him to take the video down.
—Diamond Anastasia (Yeah, tell Anonymous that he has no morals, THAT'LL hit him where it hurts) | ||
—Anonymous Tipster | ||
The mails were predictably ignored, and in less than 24 hours the video was pulled. It was reuploaded with her presence censored from it but the trolling intact, followed by its repeated re-voting down, followed by its removal following a complaint.
WAIT A MINUTE.
Somebody had an anti-Scientology video pulled from YouTube? Someone should complain about that. In fact, they should form a whole movement based on it! Thousands would show up from all over the world, turning the internet into real life in condemnation of butthurt and censorship!
Wow. Amazing. Incredible that nobody thought of this before.
A version of the video with all references to her removed was uploaded in its place, which she likewise had pulled. A rejoinder video by YouTube user Battletoads went up the following week, garnered one good-natured comment from her and was then baleeted after less than twelve hours.
Both videos are now available on RuTube, although in the latter case you have to click the top option to see it and the title is asterisked out, as RuTube seems to censor "Bluebell" as a cuss-word; proving once and for all that in Soviet Russia, YouTube censors YOU!
ZOMG Drama
And so it came to pass that Bluebell was banished. Bluebell started shit stirring in a srs bsns thread about OSA; The mods got pissed off with all her questioning of their authoritah, her thousands of PMs, and her leaderfagging. After constantly bawwing about people being mean and then accusing the wrong people of being mean, who then in turn genuinely started being mean. She has even caused some of the most moralfaggy anons on WWP to eventually turn on her.
This all led to the ZOMG Drama subforum being created under Situation Rooms, where all the posts being mean to Bluebell were moved, and hundreds more were added. The final straw was when someone spammed WWP with the tags 'Heretic = Cancer', 'Heretic = Fat cunt', 'Heretic is a fat fuck', 'Heretic is not an anon' etc. This was randomly blamed on former cancerous egofag 'The Shadow' (despite him having ragequit Chanology several months previously and the knowledge of this being widespread), this coupled with Bluebell's friendship with said cancer became the reason she was banned. With people calling out the staff for having apparently banned someone for 'guilt by association', WWP staffer Sue then posted an additional bit of creative writing in which it was claimed that Bluebell had been trying to steal a copy of the WWP database and use it to create a rival site. Sadly, like the Penguin magically acquiring detailed blueprints of the Batmobile in 'Batman Returns', the story was just that little bit too ridiculous to be believed (everyone knows Blubell fails at the internets), and anyone with half a brain and working nasal receptors could tell this was a footbullet by Sue and a poor attempt at damage control.
Plenty of people bawwwed that she was useful, and plenty more rejoiced in the streets.
—A painful dick | ||
The mods later explained all this in another thread filled with delicious drama.
—So it was completely out of the blue | ||
Whether she will be coming to future raids is yet to be seen. We wait with pitchforks and torches.
External Links
- Anonymous Bookburning Nazi Rally on RuTube
- The Ballad Of *** (even RuTube can't bring itself to speak its name]
- DA's own YouTube channel (irony)