ChurchOfBlow
ChurchOfBlow is officially the stupidest channel on the whole of YouTube. It's blatantly obvious to anyone with eyes and ears who has seen ChurchOfBlow's output that a good deal of time, thought, effort and not a little talent go into making the videos, which is why almost no-one bothers to watch them. Nobody on YouTube gives a shit about good videos. People don't visit YouTube to watch anything intelligent or entertaining. They visit YouTube to fap to underage girls and donate money to Boh3m3 every few months for no discernible reason. It's been that way for at least 100 years, so putting anything that's actually any fucking good on the site is a complete waste of fucking energy.
History
ChurchOfBlow posted its first videos some time in the past and has been posting them ever since. Hardly anyone has noticed. The channel first came to no-one's attention when, using patented devices known as sarcasm, wit and subtlety, Reverend Cornelius Blow pwned TheHill88. She didn't notice, and neither did anybody else. ChurchOfBlow then continued with its brilliant run of religious satire videos which hardly anybody watched, before taking time out to pwn crossmack (too stoned to notice.) and GregSolomon, who promptly died as a direct result, and has remained dead ever since. Then the whole thing turned out to be a gigantic piss-take of YouTube, and all that boring lonelygirl15 bullshit in the form of a half-ass comedy soap opera. And there were lizard-monsters and all sorts of quite cool stuff actually thank you very much. And hardly anyone fucking noticed.
Reverend Cornelius Blow
Reverend Cornelius Blow - the main character in the ChurchOfBlow - has gone off to look for America. The actor who played Cornelius Blow is sick to his back fucking teeth of people asking if Cornelius is coming back anytime soon, because he isn't. He might as well be dead, like GregSolomon. And like GregSolomon he's a fictional fucking character, you bunch of fucking morons. The actor who played Reverend Cornelius Blow also finds it just a little bit weird that you people still hold an affection for a character who probably killed two people. That's just a bit sick really, when you really think about it. Which you don't.
Reverend Cornelius goes off to look for America
Bernard K. Smith
Bernard K. Smith is the actor who played Reverend Cornelius Blow. He continues to post videos on YouTube as himself, although he doesn't get on that often because people keep stealing his ideas with some kind of little mind-sucking machine before he can get them out there. They're often ruined beyond all recognition by LisaNova. Bernard K. Smith created Seinfeld, almost all Stanley Kubrick's films and is responsible for smpfilms's Mr Safety. He never claimed to be proud of everything he's done now, did he?
Bernard is also close personal friends with Fred Savage. And we should all feel very humbled by that.
Bernard K. Smith Talking About Crap No-One Believes
A Featured Video (Which wasn't. Obviously.)
External Links
ChurchOfBlow channel page (which no-one visits)
sxephil channel page (which people inexplicably do.) (Note palpable difference in quality between two channels, and weep.)
 |
||
|
|
||