Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Christian Humber Reloaded/Part 1

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search


1.THE BEGINING

They say the times of your life is your childhood, yea right, it’s more like a living hell if you ask me. My family was killed by hunters when I was at least 2 months old. My brother and I were spared for some damn reason. I was pretty much raised in a laboratory somewhere, we hated it in there because we had experiments conducted on us, when they killed my brother, that triggered my transformation and in my rage I killed all the scientists in the lab and destroyed it when I was six years old. So after that I was forced to flee into the woods.

I had a tough time trying to join a pack but they didn’t’ let me because they thought I would be a threat. Boy, they were right when some hunters came and killed most of the pack, in anger I transformed and killed all but one hunter, he ran but I caught up ripped his fucking throat out in a bloody mess. More hunters came I did the same thing but one escaped and I earned my reputation of Hunter Killer at ten. I was ambushed and critically hurt like I could barely even stand, I walked into a village and collapsed on some random person’s door step; I finally passed out from all the pain, I was lucky to have lived. When I finally came around I was in front of a nice warm fire and I was bandaged up. I had food lying in front of me, since I haven’t had anything to eat for two months I ate all of it.

2.THE BIRTH OF A SUPER SAYIN WORLF

The people who found me were a little girl with her father, who were very kind to have helped me, the little girl gave me a name that was Fluffy, which I hated so her father gave me a better name that was Vash, I liked it because who the hell would name a wolf Fluffy? When I fully healed I went out with her father to go hunting, guess what happened I stepped in a bear trap and the trap’s jaws snapped on my leg but the jaw’s iron teeth shattered when they hit my leg. The girl’s father got scared when that happened. I used the scent on the trap to track the son-of-a-b**** who set it and I did, showing no remorse killed the b*****. While I was asleep the village was attacked I woke up and saw both the little girl and her father get killed, that caused me to speak my first words “NOOO! WHOEVER DID THIS WILL PAY DEARLY, BECAUSE I LOVED THEM?” I finally had enough rage to cause me to transform into a Super Sayin. I was very pissed off and lost all control of my body and I killed all the raiders and ate their guts, after that I left the ruined village after I buried the little girl’s and her father’s bodies.

3.THE TURE MEANING OF FIGHTING

I was caught in a cage and was loaded onto a truck, which had no suspension what so ever when the truck went over rocks and logs, the people who captured me put a tarp over the cage to make sure I won’t find my way back to the forest. When the truck stopped, the cage that held me was put into an arena and I found out I would have to fight in order to survive. My first opponent was a German Shepard who almost killed me except when I use the arena’s walls to my advantage and I won, barely. I was forced to fight for this guy who treated me with such cruelty, that I wanted to kill him so bad, so I played along with him until he made a fatal mistake, I used him in order to realize my fighting potential, when he opened the cage to pet me, I grabbed his hand and dragged him in and brutally killed him. I had to run in order to live, one of his guys saw me and ran after me until I broke though a window and jumped off a cliff facing the ocean.

4.MY HUMAN FORM ACHIEVED

I blacked out when I was in the water for some time; I was found when I washed up on shore by some strange creatures collecting shells on the beach. When I regained my senses I was in a hut. I tried getting up but I couldn’t because I was battered around in the ocean for three weeks. I tried again and I moved about three feet before collapsing again. The creature who found me bandaged all my wounds up with leaves from a plant.

I woke up to find it watching me. I tried to ask “where am I and who the fuck are you?” It spoke in a language I’ve never heard before, but I could understand it, it said “you’re on the island of Matanui and I’m a Matorin, called Takua, what’s your name?” I said “I have no name, but I go by Vash.” He said “that’s a good name, but I’ve never seen your kind before, so you’re the first of your kind to ever land on this island.” I said “I need to understand myself and my anger, but I don’t know how to.” He thought for a moment and said “I know who can help you, but I’m not sure what she’ll do or say” I said “don’t worry about it, I think I can make her understand…somehow” he believed me and took me to her. He bowed in front of her and said “Toa Gali, this creature wants you to help him understand himself” she said “it is certainly strange but I’ll try to help him as best as I can.” After that I did go though a lot of mental training. When I finished that, she wanted to see what I learned in the mental training and I finally found my human form.

5.MY TRUE POWER UNLEASHED

She sent me to go train with the other toa to understand my powers. Every time I finished my training with a toa, I would learn something new about myself and the toa who trained me, one of the hardest training to do was to race the toa of stone, with a bolder tied to my back, and heavy stones tied to my arms and legs. As I got stronger the weight increased, soon as he took the rocks off me, I raced him and almost won. The last toa to train with was the toa of earth, every day he would take me into a mine and have me try to punch though solid rock, while I was training with him a rahi attacked us and with my battered hands and feet I kicked the rahi though solid rock, he tied the heaviest metal to my arms and legs. After all the weight became so light I finished all my training. After I emerged from the mine all the toa were standing in front of me, Takua was there too and said “show us what you learned during your training.” I did this time I went Super Sayin on command and all my wounds healed very quickly. While I was training I learned how to use a sword.

6.CHAOS

After I left Matanui a portal appeared out of nowhere and shadows snatched me and pulled me in. I blacked out, when I woke up I was holding a sword that I’ve never seen before, before I could drop it, it stuck its tentacles into my wrist and caused me to lose control of my body. I was forced to fight against a lot of innocent people and creatures. The thing that had me I heard it is called Chaos.

7.ESCAPE FROM CHAOS

I used my will power to fight against it and I succeeded after that I fled which was actually harder than the hardest mineral I’ve punched though. When I escaped I had to go into hiding. I was still connected to it but I found out how to purify my soul by showing kindness, which was hard because the darkness in my heart wanted to kill everyone. I’ve soaked in purifying springs and attended church that got rid of the tainted power in me. I finally escaped Chaos.

8.MEETING SPIN

I had no money so I had to become a bounty hunter, in order to get money for food and water. Some of the people wanted me to kill world leaders like, the one who started the Holocaust, that’s right I had to assassinate Hitler, and I got a huge bounty for doing it, after I got the money I killed the person who hired me. I had enough money to get a weapon; I got a sword because I know how to use it. Another portal opened and I fell in and landed in a different world, I landed and began exploring, I fell into a trap that disables your powers, I began to swear a lot in frustration, I stopped when a tall hedgehog was staring at me, and asked “how’d you get in that trap?” I told him what happened to me, but keeping my sword ready for any sign of danger, he got me out of the trap, I was about to thank him, when a robot appeared and I slashed the robot in half with my sword. He asked me “what’s your name?” I told him “Vash” he laughed I asked “what’s so funny about my name?” he said “Vash isn’t a name for you, hmmm...” then he said “how about you go by the name of Blade” I said “Blade?” he said “yea, because you’re the only wolf I know who can weld a sword like a pro” I asked him “I haven’t heard your name yet, so what is it?” he said “the name’s Spin, Spin the Hedgehog” I said “Glad to meet you”

9.THE WAR AGAINST THE EGGMAN EMPIRE

Later I heard from Spin, that I was on Mobeus and there’s a terrible war going on, the one who started the war was a guy named Dr. Robotnick(or called Dr. Eggman). After I heard about that I wanted to kill Eggman, but I didn’t show it. I met up with a group called the Freedom Fighters and presented myself to them and they said “you can’t be a freedom fighter unless you can fight” that irritated me but I accepted it, until I had to jump in to help them fight against the waves of enemy robots. They asked “what are doing here? Your going to get your self killed!” I said “just watch me” with that I transformed into a Super Sayin and with one blast of energy I destroyed the enemy attack force with no effort at all. They were surprised when I did that.

10.THE BATTLE AGAINST THE VISORAK HORDE

After I became a freedom fighter, I got transported to a strange city covered with strange webs, I made sure I wouldn’t fall into another trap by keeping my eyes and ears open for any sign of danger, well I did get into some danger, by being spotted by a strange spider-like creature, boy that was a big mistake, the next thing I know I’m dodging their projectiles, I pulled my sword out and with my speed I ran up a wall on a building and swung. When my sword hit one of the b******s my sword broke in half, and in my head I said “oh shit I pissed it off, this time I’m screwed” the thing I hit with my sword turned and launched its projectile at me I closed my eyes expecting impact, felt no pain I opened my eyes and something was standing in front of me in the way and deflected the shot right at the thing that shot at me. I said ‘thanks for getting me out of that mess, but what the hell are you” it said nothing, I asked again this time louder, and it finally spoke “you were lucky but next time be more careful” I asked what are you?” it said “I’m a toa horkeita, half hero half beast” I asked what were those that attacked me?” it said “those are Visorak they are responsible for my appearance.” I asked it what its name is, it told me its name is Matau, I nearly screamed “Teruga, Matau, last time I saw you, you were as tall as a Matorin, now you’re taller than me!, what gives?” he said “me, Teruga, no, not never.” I realized I went way back in time, to the destroyed Metru Nui. I said “I need a new sword in order to help you.” He said if a forge is still intact Vakama will try to make you one.” I met the others and I told them who I am and how I got here, they listened and I showed Vakama my broken sword, he examined it and made a mold for a sword. His forge was mostly intact, I found out he had some great konoka disks hidden in his forge and I helped him make it.

It took us a while and we finished it but the toa couldn’t come up with a name for it, I came up with the name Tetsume, they liked it, but I had to make a thing that only I could use it I grabbed it and heated the blade up and cut my finger on it and put a drop of blood on it to symbolize only I could use it.

11.TETSUME’S FIRST TEST

I found the perfect way to lure one to me, I set a trap for one by plucking a thread of silk, drawing at least 5 to me I pulled Tetsume out and struck it worked I killed one of them again they shot at me but I went super Sayin and cut each one of them in half. I said to Tetsume, “Congratulations Tetsume, you passed the test.” I turned to the toa and said “now that I’m ready, lets go open a can of whoop-ass” they didn’t know what that meant so I told them “it means lets go beat the living shit out of the visorak” they agreed to my idea.

12.THE FINAL BATTLE AGAINST THE HORDE

The toa showed me where the main entrance nest was I saw a lot of guards patrolling the entrance to the nest I told the toa “I’ll act as a decoy while you guys infiltrate the nest” they agreed to my plan, and we carried it out. I actually had fun being the decoy; I insulted them by calling them ugly. After I lost them I found the toa and looked for anything that would really piss them off and I saw the Matorin capsules. I told the toa this “I’m about to do something very stupid so don’t try this at home.” I jumped from my hiding place and landed on their web attracting all their attention to me. I was right about how to piss them off; I had a lot of fun dodging their attacks. I got hit by the red one’s projectile; it felt like I was burning up but that didn’t stop me from going psycho and I did. I killed most of them when I saw the toa in danger I jumped up there and kicked the visorak off the web and while it was falling I blasted it. I went with the toa and found their leader, who is a big, ugly son-of-a-b****. The toa told me to not fight along their side, I was about to protest when they told me it’s their fight I said “if you need some help, just call me” the toa fought pretty well except when some visorak entered the fight, so I entered the fight just to kill the visorak, after that I saw the toa getting beaten, so I went against what Vakama told me and entered the fight just to hold him off long enough for the toa to combine their attacks into one, but the blast didn’t even scratch him, I told the toa “try it again” they did but this time I also used my power to help the blast this time it almost killed him so I used Tetsume and killed him.

13.THE BIRTH OF TAKANUVA: THE TOA OF LIGHT

I got a call from Tahu Nuva, when I returned to Matanui I went to Ta-Koro to see why I was called for; I found out that Takua is the chronicler and that he found a strange mask. The mask I found out is the Great Mask of Light and I went with Takua and Jalar to find the seventh toa, I saw one of the ugliest creatures I’ve never seen before called Rahkshi, one of them is the reason I’m insane, the one that did that to me was the white Rahkshi. I defeated it with ease. I was almost killed by them in the Kini in the center of Matanui when a golden light shown and disabled them when I looked up I saw a golden toa but when I looked deeper, I saw a Matorin, I saw it was Takua. He said “I am Takanuva, the Toa of Light!” I met a very funny Matorin named Tammu, he taught me a good insult and I still use it.

14.THE MAGUN IS DISCOVERED

While I was trying to find some lightstones I found something extremely cool, but when I touched it, it reacted and fused to my arm, and three bullets appeared, I took them and showed them to Teruga Nokama, she said “this thing you found is very unique, but we have never seen it before” then Sidorak appeared and the thing on my arm reacted and something came over me that caused me to say “Soil, is my power” and it transformed into a gun and I said “the Magun has thawed” then I also said “the soil charge to be used against you has been decided, the thing that mows everything down, Storm blue, the thing that erases all color, ash grey and finally the thing that drops you into eternal darkness, silent black” it started pulsating “Destroy, I summon you, Atomos!” I fired it and the shots went in to the clouds and a huge eye appeared and slowly opened and began to suck everything up. I realized I summoned Atomos: the living black hole, I yelled “get underground now!” and the toa did. Because I summoned Atomos most of the trees were ripped out, I apologized for what happened, I later found out I used the Legendary Magun, I went back to where I found it and found a strange belt with the same kind of bullets in it and a shotgun. Inscribed on its handle was carved “Blade, take my weapons and I will help you in battle against your old enemy-Kaze” I asked my self “how’d he know about me, and about Chaos?” then I heard a voice in my head say “I know you from the things you’ve done, for I am your guardian” I said “my…guardian?” “Yes, that’s right, your guardian” I said “cool, hold on, who made you my guardian?” he said “your father chose me to protect you from the darkness, but I couldn’t protect you from the warp, I died fighting your corrupted self” I said nothing then he said “I lodged three purifying bullets in your chest”

15.THE FIGHT AGAINST CHAOS BLADE

I asked Kaze what I was like in my corrupted form he told me “really ugly, and very violent.” I was going to ask Kaze what the gun on the belt was called but before he could answer a portal opened and a figure stepped out and he told me who the guy was. I pulled Tetsume out and he pulled a sword that I recognized as the same sword that caused me to lose control of my body, The Slayer of Souls. I said in my threatening voice “so, we meet at last ugly” putting it lightly. Kaze was right about how ugly he is. I said “Your move, ugly” with that comment he rushed head on in rage, boy he made the worst mistake by striking head-on, I used my speed to get behind him, but he moved and got behind me so I whipped Kaze’s shotgun out and pointed at point-blank at his head and fired but missed, he struck and cut my arm off holding Tetsume. He really regretted that by having me use the Magun as a super Sayin. I used Odin that time, killing my corrupted self.

16.THE ULTIMATE WEAPON DISCOVERED

I had my arm replaced by a robotic arm and I got the hang of using it. I had an encounter with a gang and I scared them off by punching though a wall without even trying, the second time was I crushed a member’s skull with one hand, and for the final encounter with the gang, I tortured all of them by skinning them alive and hung them on a wall still alive. Every gang that came across me ended up skinned or decapitated. I as I was finishing off a gang a portal opened and threw something out of it and hit me straight in the forehead, it hurt a little bit, when I looked at what hit me in the forehead, I found a strange jewel, I identified it as the Shikon Jewel, but white as snow, that confused me because the Shikon Jewel is pink, but white, that makes no fucking sense at all. I decided to keep it and understand why it is white; the Magun reacted to it and the White Shikon Jewel did the same. When a demon that I recognized as my brother appeared I was a bit confused, but when he attacked me I realized he was corrupted by Chaos, a foul demon who took my brother’s body. That is when the Magun and the White Shikon Jewel became one and I fired it with out the soil charges, it destroyed his body and the demon, but the jewel was grey when it got spit out of the Magun.

17.TETSUME BREAKS

My corrupted self appeared again, I fought him and when he struck with the Slayer of Souls, it broke Tetsume in half, which caused me to transform into a killing machine, the only thing that stopped me was a little girl and her father, she told me “don’t kill anymore, because, I love you.” That caused me to regain my senses; I said “I like you too, Soku.” After that I had Tetsume repaired by using one of my fangs and everyone I walked by would run and hide as if I was still on my killing spree. I told everyone “You don’t have to be afraid of me any more, because I learned when my sword is taken from me or broken I become that ruthless beast.” After I said that a robbery happened, I regretted dropping Tetsume and transforming, but I did show the burglars this: when you see me drop my sword, run as fast as you can, because if I catch you, you’re fucked. I tried to understand my ruthless side but I couldn’t. I went to Japan to find someone who could help me but I was not welcomed, so I welcomed my self by beating the living crap out of the emperor, which was fun, especially when he tries to fight back, that taught Japan not to keep me out because I would again beat the shit out of the ruler.

18.BETRAYED BY SOKU

I was buying some food for dinner when I was attacked by the police; I knew they couldn’t find me, I asked myself “who the hell told them I was here, living in peace? And why?” I returned to Soku’s house and asked “who told the cops I was here?” Soku said “I did, I had to because I was offered a large bounty for your head, I’m sorry for betraying you, I couldn’t pass up the reward.” I wanted to kill her but I made a promise not to kill anymore, so I couldn’t.

19.REVENGE AGAINST SOKU’S FAMILY

I let the police take me but I told her in a deep threating voice “you will regret betraying me” she didn’t know I was going to wipe out her entire gene pool. I met her friends before I was betrayed, so I broke out of prison, killed her friends first just to scare her, but she didn’t know it was me who killed her friends, until I told her, after telling her I tore out her throat, and I then destroyed the village, killing the rest of her family. I also killed her relatives in her family. By doing that I broke my promise to her.

20.REGRET

I fled from the police for years. The only place I could go is Matanui, and I went there just to be alone until I could return to the human world. 16 years later, I returned to California, and decided to give the police a message, which was “I’m back!” by breaking down the front door and walking in wearing all black and a hockey mask on, which scared all of them to death, until I said “I’m back!” one of them said “who are you?” I said “the one who destroyed that village 16 years ago and...Hug me!” they had a confused look on their faces, like what the fuck? I just held my hands out and said “just arrest me” and they did, I was in jail for at least 5 years, then a jail break happened and I was given the job to ether kill or arrest the convicts, I enjoyed hunting the convicts epically when they have no idea what’s going to happen to them, until it was too late. I brought back some of them alive, but most of them I ended up killing.

21.MY FIRST FUN JOB

I was given the job of convict and terrorist hunting because I enjoyed hunting them and infiltrating their strong hold then go on my killing spree blood and guts everywhere I fed upon the guts, or at least bringing down a building after rescuing the hostages. No matter what the odds were, one against a thousand which I always liked, I always ended up getting the job done and ended up not damaging important buildings. The only time I had to bring a building down was when the terrorists were threating to use a nuke, which I defused and then brought it down by sending a shock wave though the support beams.

22.DARKNESS NEVER DIES…NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU KILL IT

While I was waiting for a job guess what, I got arrested again because of my corrupted side. I told the court this “I didn’t kill all those civilians, I was here waiting for my next mission” they didn’t believe me until I caught the one who was killing the civilians, guess who I found, my corrupted self, I pulled Tetsume out and fought again, this time I slashed him in half and then used the Magun, I killed him for the third time. The Slayer of Souls was still in the world I’m in, so I decided to seal it for all eternity. I did seal it and threw it into the ocean, that way it can’t be used by anyone including myself.

23.SOKU’S REVENGE AGAINST ME

10 years later

I was playing with some children, when a familiar scent appeared; I knew it was Soku because I recognized her scent. She probably wanted revenge on me for killing her family, I regretted killing her in front of them, they started to cry, I told them “I had to because I couldn’t risk having you get killed, that’s why I killed her and if I let her live she would tell the people who are after me that I have a thing for children” they were still a little scared of me, but I told them “it’s alright for you to be scared of me, because, I, umm, killed a lot of people in the past, but I changed.” They stared at me then tackled me, when they did that they were laughing, I laughed too because I was happy.

24.THE CALL

One night while I was sleeping I was awakened by a strange call that sounded like “help me, anyone, and anybody, help me.” I was confused by the call because it wasn’t from the children, so I thought “who’s calling me, and why?” I ignored the call for most of the time I was in school, until I was done with school for the rest of my life. When I was walking home for summer I saw a strange creature….