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ChancePsych
ChancePsych, also known as simply Chance, is a rare breed of Mexican-Spic mixed with large portions of Arab. Chance claims to be a paranormalist who can read minds and speak to dead people, but it's really just years of oxygen-depraving deepthroating has destroyed what little brain he was born with and therefore he is now filled with wonderfully ironic notions of unwarranted self importance.
ChancePsych is an unwitting master of satirical irony and low comedy. His graceful slapstick humor and his perfect "dumb-shit" persona are worthy of a place in the Monty Python Hall of Fame. At this very moment, thousands of anons are busting their asses (thankfully, these asses are currently not being busted by Chance) and raiding in order to get Chance his own thirty-minute Sitcom on Fox so that all of America can shit themselves in laughter. There have been threads on /i/ stating that Rupert Murdoch himself is being held hostage until Chance gets a slot right after The Cleveland Show.
Another interesting fact about Chance is that he cannot properly articulate a sentence, which is ironic due to him not being able to hold his peace.
The Chosen One Arises
Recently, Chance has been trolled in epic proportions by Anonymous. A lonely anon stumbled upon one of Chance's YouTube videos where Chance was inquiring about the James Randi Million Dollar Challenge: a challenge of sorts whereby you win one million dollars if you can prove the existence of a paranormal phenomenon within laboratory conditions. Naturally, anon came up with the excellent idea to use the contest to troll the dumb bitch in hilarious fashion and naturally Chance, believing that he is an IRL Ichigo Kurosaki, decided to hop aboard the lulztrain heading straight to his doom. The wonderful thing about Chance's video inquiry is that he is obviously unable to Google how to sign up for the challenge. So instead, he did the next best thing: he released a YouTube video in which he dropped all of his dox in the feigned hope that James Randi and his psychic friends would find it through intuition.
We will not be disappointed.
Trolled by Anon
In response to Chance's video, and seeing a lolcow that needed to be milked harder than Applemilk1988, Anon contacted him claiming to be from the Million Dollar Contest and stated that they were interested in his abilities and that they needed him to complete a series of psychic tests to validate his claims of preternatural capabilities. Shortly after contacting Chance, Anon convinced him to complete the tests over Stickam. The tests started out simple with Chance completeting the mandatory shoe on head DUI and the madatory Hitler salute with superb grace and faggaliscious poise. After the quick sanity check anon decided to get to the funny so they asked chance to perform a long distance reading on the infamous LolDongs Manor that was once owned by the great Lord and Lady LolDongs who hailed from the town of Lulz. Anon told Chance that the entire LolDong family consisting of Lord and Lady LolDong as well as their 4 daughters were brutally murdered by an insane Asian murderer who was called Chris-Chan. Throughout the course of the test Chance pretended to hear things that weren't there until anonymous began to play an MP3 of a girl whispering. When Chance heard her spooky cries he want batshit and thought that he had finally made contact with the dead, over the phone, because ghosts use phones all the time, right?
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Shortly after anon's epic trolling, a brave hacker on steroids hacked Chance's account and revealed that the entire contest had been a sham. When Chance realized he had been tricked he desperately tried to backpedal by stating that his psychic powers had been compromised by his lust for gold and that he would never be a victim ever again. Shortly after, anon decided to show him who was boss by deleting his YouTube account. With his entire life in turmoil and his stupidity revealed for all to see, Chance decided to return under 
a new account (killed with fire) to post a reaction video.
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STOP E-MAILING MY SUBSCRIBERS
While all this shit was going down, a white knight who used the name ocpn18 tried to reveal to Chance that he was being trolled. ocpn18 posted desperate video responses trying to explain that the shit was about to hit the fan, but Chance would have none of ocpn18's evil ways and labelled him a gayhater and a psychic hater, as well as a dark entity. Shortly after ocpn18 was trolled into oblivion by Gaydiamond and it's fag squad. Chance posted this video reply in response to ocpn18 emailing Chance's friends and subscribers; note his inability to properly pronounce the word "subscribers".
Chance never had to prove his "psychadelity" to anyone... That's why he entered the challenge...
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Chance Starts Over
After a flood of Rick Rolls, Chance dropped nuts and proceded to delete fucking everything. However, after his disappearance Anon archived his story for generations to come. With Chances passing, many Anon's felt cheated of lulz, and all went back to the peanut gallery for fresh meat. However there was one sick fuck who searched the internet for more lulz, and he got what he was looking for.
Chance Thorton's new YouTube account was uncovered in early June '09. On this account, he claims that he is now a full fledged spiritual counselor, vlogging about psychic shit to help other dumbshits to become a better person for the "Supreme Being". He's as dumb as ever in these new videos, and Anon was quick to jump right back on board the Chance Troll train when they were discovered. In one of Chance's lulzier videos he mentions believing in mystical and totally IRL creatures called Sex Demons.
Chances thoughly believes in the existance of these Sex Demons. After doing his research, Chance informs us that whenever we have a wet dream or wake up with an erection, we have actually just been raped by a Sex Demon. Even if it is the only action you're getting, it is apparently a bad thing. Chance recommends a Sage for protection, and begging God to spite the demons to hell.
OHSHI- Ghosts is fucking with his camera! WHO HE GUNNA CALL? -TeeHEE!
It has come to our attention that Chance plans on taking your money on Liveperson! For only a small fee, you too can get psyhic insight from the great Chance! And if that wasn't enough Chance has also started a BlogTalkRadio show. Anyone can call in and ask questions or chat with him. You know what to do.
Quotes and Trivia
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Chances Psychic Predictions Thus Far
- Something bad in Ohio.
- Terrorist attacks. EVERYWHERE.
- Something bad happening to presidents.
Trivia
- He is a Gaydiamond fanboy.
- His thinking resembles that of a Scifag, and possibly a chanologist.
See Also
External Links
- ItsChancePisces
His LivepersonBALEETED!- His BlogTalk
- The Randi Million Dollar Challenge
- Anon's Chance archive
Offsite outline of events
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| ChancePsych is part of a series on BlogTalkRadio |
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