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Calum McSwiggan

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Calum's mugshot from time of arrest and then picture he posted on social media afterward.

Calum McSwiggan, also known as EatGayLove, is a British citizen, Youtube celebrity and histrionic faggot who faked a hate crime by breaking his own face with a payphone inside a jail cell at the West Hollywood sheriff station, after he was arrested for vandalising cars and public drunkenness. Basically the results of a typical night at the gaybar, until poor Calum posted on social media that he was fag-bashed. After his faggotry was exposed, he was charged with filing a false police report.

The Story

Calum's attacker caught!

The evening of the 26th of June 2016, UK resident Calum McSwiggan was in West Hollywood cruising the bars for dicks after attending VidCon, when he claims he was assaulted by 3 men outside of a bar called The Abbey (This should have been the first clue as the last time three straight men were in West Hollywood simultaneously they were prospectors panning for gold). Witnesses, the police and security footage however say a totally different story. Calum was walking around alone outside of the bar, apparently having separated himself from the two daddies who had purchased him for the evening (according to Calum), when he attached himself to a trio of people, a gay, a straight and a tranny. The gay guy said he let Calum hang around because he thought he was good looking, but Calum started doing weird shit like running inside the bar and stealing a bottle from behind the bar, pulling his dick out while he was walking down the street and just being a belligerent drunk prick in general.

When Calum found out that one of the three men was straight he started freaking out and screaming at the heterosexual guy. A shouting match ensued and when the police arrived Calum was ripping the mirror off of one car and using it to bash on and scratch the hood of another, where the trio were sitting horrified watching and dialing 911. When he was arrested he told the police that he was the one who had been beaten up, but the cops told him they didn't see any injuries and therefor thought he was full of shit. They did however grant him his right to file a police report, even though he was being arrested himself for vandalising the cars.

After Calum was booked into the police station, he started to beat himself unconscious with the jailcell payphone. He broke three of his own teeth and had to get stitches in his head. He posted photos of himself all over social media saying how he was gay bashed and how the police did nothing and he was so scared to be gay or whatever. The next day multiple witnesses and the police all made statements that Calum was full of shit and beat himself up. The police even released the mugshot showing that Calum had no injuries at the time of his arrest. All of Calum's friends who had defended him the night before deleted their tweets and admitted they had not actually seen the alleged assault. Calum was then charged with filing a false report of a crime, as well as two counts of vandalism of an automobile, and was held on twenty thousand dollars bail.

He continued to publicly deny the accusations on social media until last Thursday, when Calum decided to come clean, at least partly. He confessed to beating himself with the phone, but he claims it was to get the police to take him to a hospital instead of into a cell with Bubba. He faces up to a year in jail.

   
 
I think if somebody is a victim of a crime, that person should be given the benefit of the doubt and believed.
 

 
 

—McSwiggan, screw due process!

Quotes

   
 
Last night was the worst night of my life and I'm really struggling to find the words to talk about it. After one of the most wonderful weekends at VidCon we went out to a gay club to celebrate, and towards the end of the evening I was separated from my friends and beaten up by three guys. The authorities should have been there to help and protect me but instead they treated me like a second class citizen. With three broken teeth and six stitches in my forehead, I've never felt so terrified to be a gay man in the public eye. All I can do is thank my wonderful YouTube friends for being with me the whole way. I'd be lost without them. Right now I don't feel that I'm in the right place to talk about this but I will be addressing this fully in the future.
 

 
 

—Calum McSwiggan, playing the Brianna Wu card (archive)

   
 
[McSwiggan] was then observed injuring himself with the handle and receiver of a payphone inside the cell.
 

 
 

—Police description of what happened

   
 
To reiterate, I did not fake this attack and am absolutely appalled that anyone would suggest or think that I did.
 

 
 

—Calum,  Lying on Twitter (archive)

Witnesses

Bareback porn

Moar info: Bug chasing.

Adding to the above faggotry was the discovery of a bareback threesome video, which ruined the credibility of the once popular pro-condom LGBTBBQ vlogger and safe-sex advocate.

   
 
Don’t bareback, make sure you’re using protection. I don’t want this to damage my reputation and all the things I’ve worked so hard to do.
 

 
 

—Calum McSwiggan, Worrying about his reputation before taking it in the ass rawhide.

   
 
I want to be a positive role model for people so these images aren’t what I want people to be seeing.
 

 
 

—via BuzzFeed News, oh, you mean the ones shown below?

Reaction

   
 
Every dead gay man who came before you is dragging the FUCK out of you at The Afterlife (def the name of Heaven's gay bar) @CalumMcSwiggan
 

 
 

(archive)

   
 
I wish you a lifetime of only attention from femmes and fats on Grindr and that you paint every top you encounter @CalumMcSwiggan
 

 
 

—Paint means poopdick in gayspeak.

Court

After pleading not guilty to filing a false police report, a court date was set for July 20, 2016 and McSwiggan agreed to this date. Because Callum was so traumatized by the incident, he naturally wanted to make it to his court appearance on time, and fully prepared so that he could clear his name, and silence the haters. It was only due to an emergency family vacation in Spain that he missed his July 20, 2016 court date. On September 26, 2016, he pleaded not guilty to felony vandalism and a misdemeanor count of filing a false report to a peace officer.

On Monday November 7 2016, McSwiggan pleaded guilty to one count of felony vandalism. He was sentenced to three years felony probation, 52 anger management classes and ordered to repay $7000 in restitution. He remained unrepentant in a series of tweets posted shortly after his sentencing.[1]

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